Just have to vent! I am done with softball!

[BT3100]

Ummm, I said I am venting. If you don't want to read it, you can skip my post.
DD also plays basketball. The team is well managed. No dad coaches. No bias opinions. Every kid plays the position she wants to play. All games are posted with plenty of advanced notice. Coach emails us all the time letting us know what's expected, and this guy coaches 18 teams! No more than 10 kids per game so everyone gets play time. No lying about playing tournaments, no lying about the number of kids on the team (try having 14-15 players per softball game that has 3 innings, and I would want to see if you enjoy that,) no lying about girls can play whatever position they want off season. This town does not have good softball team, period. DD has played plenty of other sports for us to know what good coaching looks like. Until you've been there, don't judge. If you like paying $1,000 per season and $120 per month on pitching lessons only to get 4 innings of pitching (15 pitches per inning) for the entire season, be my guest.

There is some great advice on the 2 pages of this thread. We have all been where you are. It's a very tough sport and even tougher when coaches don't reward playing time based on effort or even performance. I posted our story on another thread but in summary my DD worked as hard as the hardest working kids on her 10U and 12U teams but was never given the chance to pitch. We had several conversations about quitting and focusing on other sports but DD refused to give up. There were 5 girls who pitched on her 12U team and the coaches begged us to give it up and even said you're DD won't even make the HS team (4,000 students) let alone pitch.
Well guess what? DD was the starting Varsity pitcher as a freshman and led them to the semi's of states with a 20-4 record... Those other 4 kids? Not one of the them even made the HS team.
NEVER let anyone tell your DD what she can or can not do, or even worse allow her to give up based on them not believing in her.
Find that coach that sees more in her than she does in herself and turn her over to that coach. Forget the costs of this sport, if you are worrying about that then it's gonna get really hard very soon as the travel amps up.
Keep your kid in this and come back here in a few years to tell the same story I tell.

 

[Dabears17]

As far as number of pitches, someone sent me this article last Friday:
https://www.flosoftball.com/articles/6065592-dear-pitchers-why-so-many-pitches-love-gary

My daughter had a rough time in 12u as far as pitching time and didn't get a lot. First year because the HC's daughter was a pitcher. Last year because she was on a team with three other pitchers better than her. This fall she is the P2 on a team with just two pitchers and she is working hard on perfecting her spins and her change-up. I've heard Mike Candrea speak twice and both times he said if you have true command of a change-up and a fastball/drop ball, you will pitch in college.

 

[BT3100]

As far as number of pitches, someone sent me this article last Friday:
https://www.flosoftball.com/articles/6065592-dear-pitchers-why-so-many-pitches-love-gary

My daughter had a rough time in 12u as far as pitching time and didn't get a lot. First year because the HC's daughter was a pitcher. Last year because she was on a team with three other pitchers better than her. This fall she is the P2 on a team with just two pitchers and she is working hard on perfecting her spins and her change-up. I've heard Mike Candrea speak twice and both times he said if you have true command of a change-up and a fastball/drop ball, you will pitch in college.

Great advice.. My DD was an average pitcher till we spent an afternoon at a camp with Rick Pauly. Rick taught her how to throw "his" change up and it completely transformed her into a legitimate #1. That pitch is a game changer.

 

[grcsftbll]

Every kid plays the position she wants to play.... no lying about girls can play whatever position they want off season.

In competitive ball, kids don't pick where they play. That sounds like rec ball, which can be a lot of fun especially for less skilled players. But once you move to travel or club ball, it's all different. I'd be immediately suspicious of any coach who told me the kids get to play where they want. Most 12U kids don't sign up for RF. In this scenario we'd probably have 3 girls at every infield position, perhaps a CF but maybe not.

 

[chinamigarden]

Actually, parents are not an issue this part of town, except for the dads who are coaching, of course.

sometimes crazy parents are there and you don't realize it. Sometimes they are where you least expect it.

 

[GunnerShotgun]

Coaches like to win so something seems to be amiss.

If I had to guess it's this:

She can pitch fast ball, changeup, drop, rise, curve, and screw. She just switched to 12"

 

[marriard]

Ummm, I said I am venting. If you don't want to read it, you can skip my post.

You still haven't answered what the coaches have told you about her not pitching. I repeat:

"Coaches just don't stop using a pitcher unless there is a a stated reason - there are very few teams that have REAL pitching depth. She is in 12U so she is not really at an age to advocate for herself yet, so what have the coaches told you when you asked? What have they told her? Is there just better pitching? Is she really better at a different position? What else is going on. There is a lot of missing information."

DD also plays basketball. The team is well managed. No dad coaches. No bias opinions. Every kid plays the position she wants to play. All games are posted with plenty of advanced notice. Coach emails us all the time letting us know what's expected, and this guy coaches 18 teams! No more than 10 kids per game so everyone gets play time. No lying about playing tournaments, no lying about the number of kids on the team

18 teams? Seriously? I've coached TWO teams at a time and was was stretched to provide adequate attention to both. And I coached basketball - every kid plays the position she wants to play? How does that even work? I get the communication aspect being good and setting expectations - I am an over communicator myself - but 18 teams? Does he just run practices and leave it up to others to coach games? I have headed an organization with 20+ teams and been the HC of the top team in the org as part of that but in no way would I have claimed to be the coach of all the teams.

(try having 14-15 players per softball game that has 3 innings, and I would want to see if you enjoy that,) no lying about girls can play whatever position they want off season. This town does not have good softball team, period. DD has played plenty of other sports for us to know what good coaching looks like. Until you've been there, don't judge.

Who says I haven't been there? I have been at coaching for 30+ years and my DD & DS have had a WIDE variety of good and bad during their sports journeys.

You vented but with half a story. I have been on both sides as both a coach and a parent (and even player when I was young). I understand how parents feel when they feel their kid isn't getting a fair deal - but I also know there is a coaches side of what is going on (even if they are really bad at coaching).

I know from your previous posts that this is not your first season with this team so you knew going into it who the coaches were and what you thought of their abilities and I also assuming how many girls and how many pitched. Many people here travel a fair distance to teams to get what they need for their DD and while your town might not have a good softball team it is fair to assume there are opponents you play that do that are a consideration.

If you like paying $1,000 per season and $120 per month on pitching lessons only to get 4 innings of pitching (15 pitches per inning) for the entire season, be my guest.

It is not -or shouldn't be - pay for play. Every player pays the per season cost and what you decide to spend on outside instruction is in the end your choice. And it sounds like your DD is playing - just not pitching.

 

[MNDad]

She can pitch fast ball, changeup, drop, rise, curve, and screw. She just switched to 12" ball easily and pitches it faster than when she was with the 11". Yet, for some reason, the coaches wouldn't pitch her

This statement alone invalidates anything in your other posts. You DD does NOT have 6 pitches at 12U! Look in the mirror to see what the problems are with your DD’s coaches. If she’s not happy, find a new team, but don’t be surprised when you have the exact problems. If she’s happy back off and let the coaches do their jobs.

 

[Dabears17]

Great advice.. My DD was an average pitcher till we spent an afternoon at a camp with Rick Pauly. Rick taught her how to throw "his" change up and it completely transformed her into a legitimate #1. That pitch is a game changer.

Her change-up is a version of the Pauly change-up, she just doesn't finish with the 'cat's claw'.

 

[Eric F]

Ummm, I said I am venting. If you don't want to read it, you can skip my post.
DD also plays basketball. The team is well managed. No dad coaches. No bias opinions. Every kid plays the position she wants to play. All games are posted with plenty of advanced notice. Coach emails us all the time letting us know what's expected, and this guy coaches 18 teams! No more than 10 kids per game so everyone gets play time. No lying about playing tournaments, no lying about the number of kids on the team (try having 14-15 players per softball game that has 3 innings, and I would want to see if you enjoy that,) no lying about girls can play whatever position they want off season. This town does not have good softball team, period. DD has played plenty of other sports for us to know what good coaching looks like. Until you've been there, don't judge. If you like paying $1,000 per season and $120 per month on pitching lessons only to get 4 innings of pitching (15 pitches per inning) for the entire season, be my guest.

Drive to another town. Find another team.

As others have commented, your previous statement about having 6 pitches is highly questionable. A pitcher does not "have" a pitch until they can they can throw it, with consistency, to a spot, with the intended movement, in a game situation, on any count. Until then, it's a work in progress. There are very few pitchers - even at the highest levels of the game - who have 6 pitches.

Have you asked the coach..."What can my daughter do to get more time in the circle during games?"

In my experience as a coach, the best way to earn more playing time is for her to be to be better than the player who currently has the spot. Undeniably better. So good she can't be ignored. So good that other parents are asking why your kid isn't playing that position. If she isn't there yet, help her do the work until she is...as long as that's what she wants.

Yes, you're venting. You're airing out your frustrations and listing your complaints. Are you just looking for sympathy? Lots of us have dealt with similar situations as either parents, or coaches, or both. We've "been there". The advice you're getting from the DFP collective is valuable IF you actually want things to change.