is there a way to approach HC without being a jerk

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Oct 21, 2016
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Wow. Personally I would never put up with any of that. Life and your daughter's softball career is just too short. Since the HC barely seems like he is in charge, and your DD already takes lessons from the head of the organization, I would skip the HC and go to the Org. head. Make sure he knows the situation, and ask about going to another team in the Organization. The team exodus is coming if nothing changes.
 
Apr 17, 2019
331
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Devil's advocate here... But how long has this HC been with the org? How did he wind up with those ACs? Have you offered your services? Speaking from experience, you don't always get to choose your ACs, especially in an "organization" (read: politics). My first year out, I was saddled with a toxic AC, but I wasn't in a position to do anything about it. Having been with it a while, I have a little more say.
If he is a less experienced HC, you might just say something like "Just wanted to offer any help I can give; I've coached before and would be happy to help in practice - so you could fit in more stations; or with warm-ups; or run GC for you - looks like 3BC has some trouble juggling that sometimes". I never turn down help from an engaged parent that's actually offering help and not just complaining. You could be an asset the HC didn't know he had.
 
May 6, 2015
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as for playing up, unfortunately as far as physical development goes, she is a little behind the curve. not tiny, but has not hit "that" point yet, so really would rather her play 12u still this spring (otherwise we would have stayed on team from last spring, they had to move up, mostly 06s).

The ACs are all parents. HC (who is also parent) and the one AC/coHC have had this team with org for three years now (in fact, they were one of two teams (an 07 and an 08) that started the org really, Org head was HC of other, and had had older girls previously). the other 3 ACs are relatively new (ie last spring or so). I think he thought (and generally I would have agreed) that having a lot of help would be good, but is not used to having that kind of help, and is simply managing like he used to when he had little help, leaving the three new ACs to all try to act like chiefs themselves).

My fear is that they fear so much losing the athlete they are afraid of pissing off Dad and GD. honestly though, from what I have seen, would not lose much, lack of headaches would balance loss of talent and coaching (see the other thread I started this week for an idea of the coaching). Thankfully, all the ACs know that DD sees Head of org privately, so they do not try to mess around with her techniques much, though GD does keep telling her she must reach in air on throwdowns to 2B (DD is throwing on a rope, but one hopping them a lot, but passing right over corner of 2B no more than 18 inches off the base, all the other Cs throw arcing rainbows. I think his DGD just does not want to bend down to make the catch. DD just ignores him really)

leaning towards seeing if HC will sit down for a beer some night after work (away from girls, other parents, ACs) to have a chat. he actually works nearby where I live.
 
May 2, 2018
200
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Central Virginia
Honestly man, it seems like you and yours daughters expectations are that of a 12U B (A?) team but your playing on a 12U C/rec All Star team (this includes coaches and family relationships).

Out of curiosity, why did you choose to move your 07 daughter to a 12U team full of 08's? I assume they will stay 12U which leaves your daughter looking for another team next fall.

Based on your situation, I would say find a better 12U team with 07's that will move up together.
 
May 6, 2015
2,397
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Honestly man, it seems like you and yours daughters expectations are that of a 12U B (A?) team but your playing on a 12U C/rec All Star team (this includes coaches and family relationships).

Out of curiosity, why did you choose to move your 07 daughter to a 12U team full of 08's? I assume they will stay 12U which leaves your daughter looking for another team next fall.

Based on your situation, I would say find a better 12U team with 07's that will move up together.

yeah, we knew it was a one year deal going in. mostly we had really always liked this coach personally, he really wanted DD, and DD really wanted to catch the other 07 that joined the team (#1 pitcher). and he said his goal was to compete as a B team, and I honestly think they can, work to do, but possible.

and it was explicit that he wanted her to provide leadership, and would promote and teach this to her (which is happening). also in our area, just not a lot of 07 teams around it seems. lots of 06 and lots of 08. our goal at end of season is to try and stay in the org (her old 07 team in the org is looking for another catcher currently, but we will honor commitment to this team but told coach we could guest if needed and our team was not playing, and there is talk of org creating another 07 team next year).

will see if having a beer with HC works, after all, "alcohol, the solution to, and cause of, all of lifes problems" ;)
 
Sep 29, 2014
2,421
113
For now I would just really her your DD focus on making the pitcher /catcher battery the best it can be and continue focusing on hitting....lead by example. Steer clear from as much drama as possible and per my previous post if you sit down with coach really focus on TEAM aspect.
 
May 6, 2015
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update and a wrinkle i forgot to throw in. wrinkle is that we have been reluctant to go to head of org, because we know of a situation they have going on that is taking a lot of their focus right now (and rightfully so, 3467 X more important than softball). without this we would have gone to head of org pretty early on.

update, DD approached HC about some of the issues (mostly focused on her interactions with ACs, but not entirely), and DW and I talked with him some about the refusing to go out to get medals (and the girls played tough that day, exhausted, 4 games in about 7 hours, DD caught all but 2 innings, they were not first losers, they earned and I think mostly appreciated their 2nd place finish). but have not discussed the warmup or practice deficiencies.

head of orgs situation is going to keep them really busy for forseeable future. and we had a down period of a few weeks, had a tournament cancelled, and most practices as well due to weather. the other tournament they did, they came in second after pool play, weather cancelled bracket play (they went 2-1 in pool play, losing 2-1 to first place team). started organizational (14u team, two 12u teams, 10u team) indoor workouts this week, could not stay to watch, but basically most HCs and ACs from org there, running about 6 different fielding/conditioning stations.

think I am going to have to burden head of org with some of this, mostly warmups and management of practices and ACs. I cannot see the potential of this team and season for my DD go to waste.
 

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