I’m at a loss... help !

[sharkyc23]

So my DD just turned 13 last week. At age 10 and 11 she was a dominant pitcher. She lost most of her 12u season last year because of Covid but continued to work almost every day and weekly with a pitching coach.
she was pitching upwards of about 53-54 mph regularly as well as maintining a good changeup and learning tothrow a drop and screw ball which were actually starting to look reallygood. We were very excited about the season but then something just “ happened” or “changed” .... it’s something I just can’t explain and something I’ve never seen from a player in my over 30 years of playing and coaching.
It started with getting into scrimmages and holding back a bit from nerves, not throwing nearly as well as in the backyard. I figured that was expected since she hadn’t been on the mound in a while ...
We switched her pitching coach over the pandemic and he seemed to be making great progress with her. Then she started getting very anxious on the way to lessons. Saying she was nervous because she thought he thought she sucked. He would say things like “ maybe uou can just be a first baseman because you just don’t throw hard enough “. She would cry sometimes on the way home because he made her feel like crap.
Now trust me , I am about tough love and pushing them so I thought nothing of it except - you gotta be mentally strong.
When she went back on the mound it was just disastrous. I’m. Not talking about not throwing hard. I don’t mean she couldn’t find the strike zone. I mean it was like she couldn’t physically throw the ball anywhere near the plate. The ball would bounce 3 times before getting there or the ball would fly over the back stop . This with zero velocity. It was like a 7 year old who never pitched before stepped onto the mound. Not a kid who was progressing so well and been seeing a pitching coach since she’s 9.
There are so many things I’ve tried to get her through this. She is a very athletic 5’9 left handed pitcher who wants this more than anything. We have her talking to a sport psych for children , and changed coaches. But I don’t know if it’s something she can ever overcome. She is petrified to go on the mound. But wants to get passed this and back to where she was 2 months ago.
Has anyone ever experienced this before ?
many advice ??
I can post videos if you like.
thanks in advance.

 

[lhowser]

Definitely should post a video. Most of the time mechanical issues lead to confidence issues, not the other way around. A good understanding and execution of mechanics bring success...then success brings confidence. If she is bouncing it and then throwing it over the catcher it is highly unlikely that she is properly using an arm circle that includes brush resistance and internal rotation. Two parts of the motion that most on this forum would consider essentials.

 

[DrRiello]

Have to admit that’s a sad horrific story.
My dd’s coach always says. Boys need to play good to feel good. Girls need to feel good to play good.
This coach sounds like a POS. 12u throwing in the 50’s and getting has the balls to say she doesn’t Throw hard enough. Regardless, it’s not going to motivate her to put her down. Glad that PC is gone.
Clearly she has to regain confidence. Sports psyc is a great start.
Not sure I can help any other way.
I feel for you though.


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[Towny9]

Sounds like she has a softball equivalent of “the yips”. Similar to what Rick Ankiel, Steve Sax, and Chuck Knoblauch went through in MLB. It definitely sounds mental.

...and why would a pitching coach you are paying tell a girl she can’t be a pitcher and make her feel bad? What a turd.

 

[Tango]

When my brother was playing baseball in college (JUCO), a pitcher transferred in that was at the #1 ranked D1 program in the nation, he was the recruiting gem of his class and he completely lost it. Would throw the ball in the dugout from the mound. His sports phycologist would have him talk about his cat to himself. He set a school record for wins at the JUCO and signed with a top 10 D1 school. Hurt his arm and is a doctor now.

Had a player that couldn't throw from 2nd base but could pitch or play 3rd. Made about 5 throwing errors in a row at 3rd but couldn't throw from 2nd after making the errors. Next year no issues. I was his coach the year before the errors and after but not the year he made the errors.

 

[marriard]

We switched her pitching coach over the pandemic and he seemed to be making great progress with her. Then she started getting very anxious on the way to lessons. Saying she was nervous because she thought he thought she sucked. He would say things like “ maybe uou can just be a first baseman because you just don’t throw hard enough “. She would cry sometimes on the way home because he made her feel like crap.
Now trust me , I am about tough love and pushing them so I thought nothing of it except - you gotta be mentally strong.

Going to be a bit blunt here...

You took something she liked, and turned it over to an abusive J**k@*@ coach and justified it because of 'tough love' and 'mentally strong' which is leading her to hate even doing this anymore.

Why would you do that? Why would you let it continue?

Let me guess - he has some rep of building pitchers or 'knowing the game'

She isn't having fun; you made it a job with an abusive boss. Before you try to fix anything mecahnical, stop these lessons with this coach, find a better fit and hope the damage isn't permanent.

It is still meant to fun and enjoyable.

 

[Sweet Lou]

Sounds like the pitching coach did a lot more harm than good. She's gotta back to where pitching is fun for her to regain her confidence. Maybe take a step back from pitching for a couple weeks to reset mentally? I don't know, but good luck.

 

[BradyC87]

Does she really love the game? Or does she love it because you do?

There is a lot of "We" in your post in key parts, "We were excited for the season", "We switched pitching coaches" and so on...

Not saying that she doesn't love softball but maybe it is worth making sure she knows she'd be supported if she just decided today to put down her glove and take off her cleats for the last time. Maybe she'll be done playing and find something else or maybe she'll turn it around. After all, she is the one playing and the one that has to truly want to play and improve to solve any of these issues.

Maybe she just needs a break, does she play other sports? If not, might be worth trying something else even if just to get a mental and physical break from softball. I know my DD just turned 12 and focusing on one sport year-round would not end well.

 

[canyonjoe]

Never forget 2 things. It's just a game and you are her father.

 

[Powerof9]

Pitching coaches are like a raft, they help you cross rivers. But once you get to the other side, the raft is to heavy to carry around. Drop the raft and do your thing! The best coach is the person pitching and she should always be learning to coach herself.
Drop the pitching coach! Make it fun or do something else fun together.