pattar, when I talk to parents, I also make sure that the AD is at the meeting. As I illustrated here last spring, what is said in these meetings often tend to come out as something else when emotional parents are involved. The AD serves as a person who is a witness to exactly what is said. In this case, I am shocked that the AD didn't side with the parents. My AD would without reservation.
This makes a lot of sense and avoids a lot of "he said / she said" situations down the road.
And I agree with you in this case the AD should have backed the parents 100%.