How to handle almost entire team showing up late for game?

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Apr 30, 2018
349
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Looking for ideas on how to handle players showing up late. This is 12u so totally reliant on parents. One assistant coach is of the opinion that you can't punish the girls for being late since they can't drive. I'm in the opposite camp. Head coach told all the girls and the parents that were within range to be on the field reqdy to practice at 7am Sunday for our 8am game. Everyone was staying at the same hotel on Saturday night and our last game ended at 6pm so there shouldn't have been any excuses. My (assistant coach) DD and the head coach's DD were the only ones on time. We didn't even have 9 players until after 7:30, and one girl never showed up. My understanding is many of the parents got a bunch of beer and sat outside the hotel drinking late into the night. If it is just a few girls I would make them have to sit out the game, but can't play a game with only a catcher and an outfielder. Thought about bumping them all to the end of the lineup, but again that isn't much of a punishment if the entire team is late. Is making them run laps, etc the only option left?

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Jan 5, 2018
385
63
PNW
Looking for ideas on how to handle players showing up late. This is 12u so totally reliant on parents. One assistant coach is of the opinion that you can't punish the girls for being late since they can't drive. I'm in the opposite camp. Head coach told all the girls and the parents that were within range to be on the field reqdy to practice at 7am Sunday for our 8am game. Everyone was staying at the same hotel on Saturday night and our last game ended at 6pm so there shouldn't have been any excuses. My (assistant coach) DD and the head coach's DD were the only ones on time. We didn't even have 9 players until after 7:30, and one girl never showed up. My understanding is many of the parents got a bunch of beer and sat outside the hotel drinking late into the night. If it is just a few girls I would make them have to sit out the game, but can't play a game with only a catcher and an outfielder. Thought about bumping them all to the end of the lineup, but again that isn't much of a punishment if the entire team is late. Is making them run laps, etc the only option left?

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Our team rules were
1) Don't be late
2) don't let your teammates down

Sounds like the majority of the team violated both. It also sounds like softball is more of a social/party event for parents than it is about softball for their players.

Using those team rules....our girls were on time and "pressured" their parents to be where they needed to be etc. I'd even given the girls suggested food list for better game day performance....had a player "chew" out her mom becuase mom was putting suggary snacks in her snack bag for game day....player told mom "Coach said not to eat junk during games, why are packing junk????" It was a good laugh between the mom and myself...but showed how much at 12U players were paying attention.

Running laps....nah.

Sounds like team expectations aren't set or flagrantly ignored.

If you're DD is serious about softball might be time to look for a team that has similar goals and expectations as yours.

Bummer situation.
 
Apr 20, 2017
152
28
Looking for ideas on how to handle players showing up late. This is 12u so totally reliant on parents. One assistant coach is of the opinion that you can't punish the girls for being late since they can't drive. I'm in the opposite camp. Head coach told all the girls and the parents that were within range to be on the field reqdy to practice at 7am Sunday for our 8am game. Everyone was staying at the same hotel on Saturday night and our last game ended at 6pm so there shouldn't have been any excuses. My (assistant coach) DD and the head coach's DD were the only ones on time. We didn't even have 9 players until after 7:30, and one girl never showed up. My understanding is many of the parents got a bunch of beer and sat outside the hotel drinking late into the night. If it is just a few girls I would make them have to sit out the game, but can't play a game with only a catcher and an outfielder. Thought about bumping them all to the end of the lineup, but again that isn't much of a punishment if the entire team is late. Is making them run laps, etc the only option left?

Sent from my SM-G975U1 using Tapatalk

Sounds like a couple of families take travel ball more seriously. That is a bad environment for everyone involved. I’ve been at hotels and seen coaches have the entire team swimming and having a good time till late hours. Then talking to the coaches later and them complaining that they never play good when they actually travel. I seen coaches have no swimming and a curfew for teams. With the switch to travel ball from rec ball for so many families there is a huge gap between expectations. To some it is just a fun hobby and to some it is treated as a job.

This does not sound like punishing the girls is going to solve any problems and will probably make things worse. I would recommend a parent meeting after practice and lay out the expectations for the team moving forward. I would then take the feedback from parents and make a decision if this is the right atmosphere for your DD or is it time to jump to another team with more like minded families. And let’s be real about it if partying and having a good time at the hotel is more important then being on time how much time a week do you think these players are getting in their at home work.
 

radness

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
7,270
113
Bummer, all that effort to put together a team, get them in a tourny only to find their commitment sucks.

At this point its about having to be a disciplinarian to other adults. Which generally doesn't work out that well.

imo
Decide you and dd's goals are.
Perhaps decide this group may need the big boots conversation to goals.
See if they react in a way thats meets your goal criteria.
Or
Move on!

Softball costs WAY to much to be on a team with others who dont have same goals.
It can be an expensive tug-o-war.

Good luck setting standards!
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
This doesn't end at 12U, and it drives me nuts. For a problem this bad, I'd suggest that for those who arrive on time, offer them their choice in the batting lineup and a starting position in the field for that first game. Everyone else gets what's left, with the latest arrivals batting at the bottom and/or sitting the bench if there's more than nine. If that means you lose, then you lose. For someone who fails to show for a game without good reason and communication, they're suspended for the rest of the tournament. Explain and enforce that standard...you'll probably see some improvement.

Not sure if you're the HC or a parent. If you're a parent, talk to the HC, and consider finding another team if the situation doesn't improve. I'm afraid that it never goes away completely, especially when traveling. However, high quality teams don't put up with much of this because there's a line of people ready to take the spots of players who can't get to the ballpark on time.
 
Nov 18, 2015
1,585
113
Everyone was staying at the same hotel

Strike2 beat me to it - for the first game, order of arrival determines batting order. Unless no one else was there until 7:10 or so, maybe have yours and HC DD near the top, but not 1/2. S2 took it a step further, which I also like, by having them choose their positions.

But the above quote is key - I’m assuming you’re not in the 90210 zip code, but are parents really this carefree with their money that they’re OK with shelling out $100+ on a hotel and being one and done on Sunday?

If you have a few “party parents”, they should at least have the foresight to arrange for their DD to hitch a ride with a teammate Sun morning.


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Apr 8, 2019
214
43
My DD's team had a period where there was a lull in general effort and commitment to the team. The coach held a team meeting to make sure they understood that was not acceptable, and outlined expectations. He promised the players they would not play an inning if those expectations were not met. Then he held a week or so of just about the most intense, physically exhausting practices I have ever seen. They did sprints for over an hour, and he demanded all out effort before they ended practice.

This is probably an unpopular idea, but the attitude problems stopped immediately. A few girls left, but they were often cause the problem. Tardiness is no longer a thing. Yes, the parents drive, but you better believe the kids can get there on time when they are properly motivated. The team is more successful, but more importantly it is more fun. Everyone is focused and commited, and nobody feels that their teammates are letting them down.
 

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