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How to avoid the unnecessary drama

Oct 7, 2019
5
1
I wanted to see what everyone’s take is on the unwanted and unnecessary drama that comes with travel softball.
This is my husbands first year of coaching. We started with a good group of girls back in March who were coming straight out of Rec ball. Over the past 6 months, these girls have developed and excelled like no other. But, now we have frustrated parents because they have not won a single game yet. I know fall ball competition is stiff because a lot of girls
Playing are getting ready to age up, and have been playing for a few years already.
Several of our parents that are unhappy about not winning have all decided at once to jump ship. Telling us they would finish out their commitment until the beginning of November, but would not allow their kids to play anymore games, and will only practice.
My husband has seriously been put through the ringer the past 24hrs. He feels like a failure, when he has done nothing wrong. He has given the players the tools during practice these past 6 months to use.
We have only had one parent actually speak up and voice their concerns, the others relay their information through their child’s Rec coach that we have as an assistant coach.

Anyone have any advice? Constructive criticism? We have put in a lot of time and effort into this team. Our organization president told us this totally happens and just to turn a new leaf and continue doing what we have been doing.

Thanks y’all!
 
Sep 29, 2014
2,039
63
If this is first year 10U does that means it's a bigger ball and longer distance for your pitcher? If so in fall ball it might be a challenge to beat those teams that will be 12u come January. Plus a big factor is the quality of the rec league you came from I would have no problems putting my old all star team (or even my league team honestly) against any travel ball teams in the area we might not win them all but would be competitive against all we usually split games at warm up travel tournaments we would play during all star season.

The hard truth is maybe not all these girls were ready. Also did you and your assistant combine rec teams to make this new travel team? You said you are with a larger organization, do they want you to continue or are they going to try and combine teams or do something else?
Honestly sometimes it just doesn't click on the field with a new team right away...doesn't sound like much of a chance was given after losing streak....just hang in their and make sure your DD lands on her feet either with new players to this team or on another team somewhere.
 
May 24, 2013
10,289
113
So Cal
Fresh 10u, will not move to 12u until Jan 2021
That's what I guessed.

Some stuff I've learned in our journey (DD moved from rec to TB in 10U, and is currently playing on a high-level 16U TB team. I also spent a few years as a TB team coach.)...

- If people don't want to stay, don't try to make them. Those people will only make life more uncomfortable for everyone else.
- ESPECIALLY at younger ages, parents (and coaches) who put winning games above player development are idiots. It's not uncommon for the kids of these parents to quickly end up riding the bench on a team that wins a lot...and then end up complaining about playing time (see the pattern?)
- Moving up to a new age group in the fall is always rough for 10U and 12U. It gets made worse by teams who don't move up when they should in order to score plastic trophies. Don't judge the competitive level of your team until after Jan 1, when the older teams are finally forced to play their age. Also, the lumps your players take now will only make them better in 2020.
- If I was the HC, and parents told me that their kid would keep coming to practices, but wouldn't be playing games, I would let them know that they didn't need to come to practices any more, either. Focus on developing the players who are committed to your program.
- I've seen it at least a dozen times, from 10U to 14U...Rec ball team has a good all-star experience, and wants to stay together and play in the exiting world of "travel ball". It's going to be great! Our kids are awesome! Its a shock to find that they are regularly getting curb-stomped by teams full of players who have more experience and more skills. There are parents whose egos can't handle it, so they blame someone (usually the coach), try to suck others into their drama, and leave ugly. However, if you stay true to your team, focus on development, your team will be doing some stomping next fall as the next batch of rec teams tries to make the TB move.

EDIT: A couple more things...
- Not one future college coach will care about what tournament any kid won in 10U or 12U. Even if it was a National Championship.
- The ONLY true loyalty in TB is a parent to what they think is best for their kid. In related news...some parents are delusional.
 
Last edited:
Dec 2, 2013
1,002
63
Texas
I see some "hissy quits" in the future on this team. Eric is spot on! Seen the OP scenario in all age groups and it's not pretty. Those parents that think their kids are too good for the team are the ones creating the drama. Let them go! The big question is, can you replace them or does the team implode?
 
Feb 3, 2016
240
28
I wanted to see what everyone’s take is on the unwanted and unnecessary drama that comes with travel softball.
This is my husbands first year of coaching. We started with a good group of girls back in March who were coming straight out of Rec ball. Over the past 6 months, these girls have developed and excelled like no other. But, now we have frustrated parents because they have not won a single game yet. I know fall ball competition is stiff because a lot of girls
Playing are getting ready to age up, and have been playing for a few years already.
Several of our parents that are unhappy about not winning have all decided at once to jump ship. Telling us they would finish out their commitment until the beginning of November, but would not allow their kids to play anymore games, and will only practice.
My husband has seriously been put through the ringer the past 24hrs. He feels like a failure, when he has done nothing wrong. He has given the players the tools during practice these past 6 months to use.
We have only had one parent actually speak up and voice their concerns, the others relay their information through their child’s Rec coach that we have as an assistant coach.

Anyone have any advice? Constructive criticism? We have put in a lot of time and effort into this team. Our organization president told us this totally happens and just to turn a new leaf and continue doing what we have been doing.

Thanks y’all!
Softball can be cruel.

Tell your husband to keep his head up. Sometimes you can't control all the stuff that surrounds a team.

The only reason I decided to get back to coaching is that kept seeing kid's not being taught the fundamentals.

If he'd like me to post my failures I could post for a days. Lol

It's extremely hard when teams surrounding you actively try to destroy what you're building. Some of your Softball friends aren't really friendly at all.

I know some girls will exit to greener pastures. This just can't be helped.

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk
 
Apr 28, 2019
835
43
I wanted to see what everyone’s take is on the unwanted and unnecessary drama that comes with travel softball.
This is my husbands first year of coaching. We started with a good group of girls back in March who were coming straight out of Rec ball. Over the past 6 months, these girls have developed and excelled like no other. But, now we have frustrated parents because they have not won a single game yet. I know fall ball competition is stiff because a lot of girls
Playing are getting ready to age up, and have been playing for a few years already.
Several of our parents that are unhappy about not winning have all decided at once to jump ship. Telling us they would finish out their commitment until the beginning of November, but would not allow their kids to play anymore games, and will only practice.
My husband has seriously been put through the ringer the past 24hrs. He feels like a failure, when he has done nothing wrong. He has given the players the tools during practice these past 6 months to use.
We have only had one parent actually speak up and voice their concerns, the others relay their information through their child’s Rec coach that we have as an assistant coach.

Anyone have any advice? Constructive criticism? We have put in a lot of time and effort into this team. Our organization president told us this totally happens and just to turn a new leaf and continue doing what we have been doing.

Thanks y’all!
Virtually impossible to avoid some form of drama. I guess the only way is to have 9 players who play every inning and get their 3/4 at bats a game. Even then you would probably hear grumbling. Why isn’t Susie batting 3rd?
Some parents have no clue and just won’t accept their daughter is not a Super Star.
Most teams have 3-5 girls that are clearly above the rest skill wise. Then you have 4-7 girls that are good/solid players and then 1-2 girls that clearly don’t belong. But we need to fill the roster and sometimes it’s necessary to lower expectations.
It sounds like your doing things the right way. Either your girls are all in or they are out. You need players to practice and play in games. Cut the problem parents loose things will only get worse.
 
May 29, 2015
906
93
Well, you already crossed the first line. Never EVER take a complete rec team to travel ball. I don’t care how good they were in their little pond, they are chum if you do that.

Like @Eric F, I’ve witnessed the carnage firsthand more than once.

What’s more disgusting is seeing the same coach do it more than once. Tell me that was for the kids ... anyway ...

If you are going to take an entire rec team to travel ball, DON’T. Stop, breathe, and then ... DON’T. EVER. DO. IT.

Now that you have ... disband the team. Find the few that want to be there and that you want to work with, then find another team in need that you can be an AC for. Merge and be happy.
 
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