how do you start the fire?

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Apr 7, 2012
104
18
Hey guys

Looking for your guys opinion here. My daughter loves playing softball and I really do think she does, but at times she lacks that drive and effort. She is only 9 so the attention span plays a role in it, but what have you guys done to help set the fire in the girls hearts, or is that something that just can't be done and it is only up the the girls themselves. I keep her confidence up and of course there are times in which I get upset with her, but it always ends with "you know you can do this".. Maybe it is just my attitude when I do something. I just dont get how players dont want to do the best they can everytime they are out there. Not just softball, but in anything they do.

I just get frustrated because I know she can be a great player because the ability is there, but there is something inside of her that needs to come out to make her a better player.

thanks guys
 
Aug 20, 2013
558
0
Awesome question and I hope you get some really good answers and not just "they have to want it" answers.

I am facing the same challenge myself with my 9 year old. Pretty much any ball she picks up she handles it well, but practice, I get the groan. I am learning that these have to be short practices and if you find a drill or area or anything they like, play that up. She loves to hit, so when a pitching practice is going south, I say "hey, let's end this on a high with some good hits." She lights up.

She also seems to enjoy the trying to hit the large ball off of the tee drill with pitching so when she starts to deflate, I move towards one that I knows she likes.

My husband always shuts down with my girls because he says "they have to want it." I say well, for girls, we don't suck it up, we suck in all the negativity we perceive. We do well WHEN we feel good, not do well TO feel good. Also, it is hard to "want it" when you stink at something or don't understand it. Girls are just different that way.

Good luck, know that you are not alone and know that just because they "don't want it like a mad ninja," they can still be great! Heck, I had no passion for a lot of stuff as a kid that I know have loads of passion for. Sometimes......it just takes time.

GG
 
Jan 20, 2010
139
0
At 9 focus on fundementals. Throwing, catching, basic hitting instruction. You have to make it fun for them to want to come. Use some games in practice. At 9 that little girl does not know if softball will be her calling. You will know if you have a ball player at 14U and 16U. All the ones in it for the social aspect find other intrests when their work ethic and training get ignored they get left behind the other players putting in the time. At 9.......Have fun with her don't make every game the 7th game of the world series because to them, they want to know where they are going for ice cream after the game, not turning a double play. Work on Throwing and Catching and you will do your team very well. But most important make it fun......
 
Jun 27, 2011
5,089
0
North Carolina
Maybe it is just my attitude when I do something. I just dont get how players dont want to do the best they can everytime they are out there. Not just softball, but in anything they do.

Doing your best at everything is overrrated, IMO. There's much to be said for doing something for the enjoyment of it and not to find out how great you can be at it, especially when it's just a sport, and especially when you're 9-years-old. Aside from sportsmanship concerns, I say let kids make of their sport what they want. If they continue to enjoy it (and parents play a big role in this), then later on, they might decide they want to be really good at it. I've seen that happen plenty of times.
 
Apr 7, 2012
104
18
i hear you about doing things for just enjoyment, so when you are doing things for "enjoyment" do you just do those things with half effort and dont try?

We always try to make it fun. I know thats the main point of it and she does have fun, and i think that is why she enjoys it.
 
May 7, 2008
8,506
48
Tucson
How much is she playing right now? Is she enjoying other activities or would she just as soon be on the couch? The key is to find out what she is interested in and encourage those interests.
 
Apr 7, 2012
104
18
i think this year will be a more difficult one for her. She is in her first year on the 10U travel ball team, so she doesnt get much playing time. I think that has something to do with it as well. she still enjoys it and has fun, but i think that might get to her a little bit. its more so a learning curve for next year when she will play alot more.
 
Jul 16, 2013
4,659
113
Pennsylvania
Although my DD has tons of friends, none of them share her love for softball. The sport is just not very popular where we live.

However, she recently found a new "BFF" that is also a softball player (they are on the same TB team). Whenever they are together they are always doing something softball related; pitching, hitting, playing catch, whatever.... I am a coach, but no matter how hard I try, I cannot push either one of them the way they can push each other. They are competitors and best friends at the same time, and it is pretty cool to watch.

So my advice to you is allow her to find some peers that also have a love of softball and let them find their paths together.
 
Last edited:
Jan 20, 2010
139
0
At 10U Travel.....develop all your player skills, equal playing time. If you are on a team with a coach out to win a medal at 10U you might want to find another coach. Those stud players at 10U usually are sub par players at 16U. Once the other girls catch up in size and strength the bigger 10U girls disappear into the deep dark unknown. Just my 02
 
Jun 24, 2013
427
0
At that age it does matter if they are having fun. If it becomes all work then they will lose interest fast. This is the greatest time to teach fun stuff like sliding. at 10U and under they have not yet learned to be afraid of sliding. Make some fun games for them. If you make it fun it will become easier to "love" the game.
 

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