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Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
WTF! I'm not going to beat around the bush here. 18AB's! How does that coach sleep well? This is Turrible (Charles Barkley voice). Dude! Your DD deserves to play more than 2 innings over a 5 game weekend, even if she was the worst player on the team. Every team has a "worse" player on a team and they get to play too. This is NOT a situation where you say "We are breaking up because it's Me, not You" YOU COACH are the problem, and a poor excuse for a coach. You need to find a team where your DD is respected, coached up, given ample playing time, etc. This is a situation where I would be saying, I pay the same amount of money as these other families and why isn't my kid playing? Move on for the sake of your DD and your family's sake. The "oh dang, we were supposed to get you in this game" Secretly the coach was hoping noone noticed. Really, you can't manage a lineup or game time to get ALL of your players in the game. Back when I was HC, from 8U to 14U, I NEVER sat a girl an entire game....NEVER! This coach thinks he is doing something good. Pathetic! SMH.
 
Jan 5, 2018
385
63
PNW
to OP:

18 AB's or 18 plate appearances? Not to split hairs...but I've found many interchange those two terms. So would her plate appearances be higher? It could change the perspective of your story.

That said you've received some very good information and advice. I will say while games are important and that's where you want to be....practice is underrated. MORE PRACTICE-well good intentional practice designed to get better at the game. I too see those teams that play every weekend with few practices and they essentially look the same start of season and at the end of the season.

good luck. Remember it's about her not you.
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
Generally speaking, I'm an advocate of earning your playing time by doing the work to be better than the current starting player in the position you want. Being "as good" isn't enough to get a coach to replace someone who has earned that spot and kept it for a long time. Be better. Be undeniably better. Be so much better you can't be ignored! If you're not, get to work until you are.

Now, that said, there are times when the path to developing into a better player is taking a step back to a team where you are part of the regular starting 9, and are getting lots of game reps.

Especially at the age we are talking about with this player, what she wants is the MOST important factor. If she likes the team, and wants to stay and grind it out to earn a spot, that's fine. If she can see clearly that the chances of taking over the spot of a starting 9 player isn't realistic, and wants to find a better situation, that's fine, too.
 
Aug 19, 2015
1,118
113
Atlanta, GA
Listen, if it's affecting your DD's self-esteem/confidence, I say run, don't walk. If she loves the game now but this experience is making her dread going to tournaments for fear that she'll just sit (I'm not saying that's how she feels, but she might get there if she's not yet), then it's time to go. Playing regularly on a lower level team is better than riding the pine for a higher level team. She'll be happier and, by extension, you will too. Signed, 18U parent who has been there and done that and bought the T-Shirt.
 
Jan 16, 2020
45
18
Generally speaking, I'm an advocate of earning your playing time by doing the work to be better than the current starting player in the position you want. Being "as good" isn't enough to get a coach to replace someone who has earned that spot and kept it for a long time. Be better. Be undeniably better. Be so much better you can't be ignored! If you're not, get to work until you are.

Now, that said, there are times when the path to developing into a better player is taking a step back to a team where you are part of the regular starting 9, and are getting lots of game reps.

Especially at the age we are talking about with this player, what she wants is the MOST important factor. If she likes the team, and wants to stay and grind it out to earn a spot, that's fine. If she can see clearly that the chances of taking over the spot of a starting 9 player isn't realistic, and wants to find a better situation, that's fine, too.
First, thanks for the response. I'm wanted opinions, and have alot of great feedback.
We naturally don't want to be "those" parents. My DD was told she would compete for a starting spot. She has pretty much taken over the spot in practice, probably 80% in her primary. Then games come around, and she sits.
So we will play the last tournament, and then we will talk about her options. Luckily, she has options. And it will be mostly her choice what to do. Like many have said, her choice, her team, her teamates.
 
Oct 15, 2013
727
63
Seattle, WA
Generally speaking, I'm an advocate of earning your playing time by doing the work to be better than the current starting player in the position you want. Being "as good" isn't enough to get a coach to replace someone who has earned that spot and kept it for a long time. Be better. Be undeniably better. Be so much better you can't be ignored! If you're not, get to work until you are.

Just curious, how many times have you seen that happen?
 
Aug 24, 2018
72
18
Question to the OP, what region of the country are you playing in? Here in the NE, the fall season is the time when coaches find what they have in the field and batting order. Then we go inside for 3-4 months to improve for spring. Once Spring comes, lineups and positions are more defined and it is tougher to break in. Players usually commit for a full year (Sept-July)

Do you feel like DD has had enough exposure to show her strengths and weaknesses?
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
Just curious, how many times have you seen that happen?

More than a few. At least one with every team my DD has played with since 10U. With my DD's current 16U team, there is one player that has gone from a part-time OF and lower-half hitter to a starting OF (often in CF) and a top-4 hitter over the last few months. She's been working her @$$ off, and it shows. Coaches have noticed and made adjustments. There is another that is also on a significant upward path.
 
Jul 14, 2018
982
93
DD went through the exact same situation-she played for a coach that had a core group for a few years, and breaking into the lineup was impossible (we had our own five-game weekends where DD got two AB’s). DD liked her teammates so she didn’t want to leave, but she was obviously doubting her own abilities and, in the end, required a little push from me to find another team.

But here’s my ‘buyer beware’ postscript: DD is a pitcher and needs circle time. We chose to go with a weak team to ensure she gets the ball, but the team hasn’t improved much over two years. She’s now head-and-shoulders above her teammates from a skill standpoint (she played every inning of every game this fall) and we’re starting to look for alternatives again. Too much of a good thing :)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Jan 16, 2020
45
18
Generally speaking, I'm an advocate of earning your playing time by doing the work to be better than the current starting player in the position you want. Being "as good" isn't enough to get a coach to replace someone who has earned that spot and kept it for a long time. Be better. Be undeniably better. Be so much better you can't be ignored! If you're not, get to work until you are.

Now, that said, there are times when the path to developing into a better player is taking a step back to a team where you are part of the regular starting 9, and are getting lots of game reps.

Especially at the age we are talking about with this player, what she wants is the MOST important factor. If she likes the team, and wants to stay and grind it out to earn a spot, that's fine. If she can see clearly that the chances of taking over the spot of a starting 9 player isn't realistic, and wants to find a better situation, that's fine, too.
First, thanks for the response. I'm wanted opinions, and have alot of great feedback.
We naturally don't want to be "those" parents. My DD was told she would compete for a starting spot. She has pretty much taken over the spot in practice, probably 80% in her primary. Then games come around, and she sits.
Listen, if it's affecting your DD's self-esteem/confidence, I say run, don't walk. If she loves the game now but this experience is making her dread going to tournaments for fear that she'll just sit (I'm not saying that's how she feels, but she might get there if she's not yet), then it's time to go. Playing regularly on a lower level team is better than riding the pine for a higher level team. She'll be happier and, by extension, you will too. Signed, 18U parent who has been there and done that and bought the T-Shirt.

So we will play the last tournament, and then we will talk about her options. Luckily, she has options. And it will be mostly her choice what to do. Like many have said, her choice, her team, her teamates.
Listen, if it's affecting your DD's self-esteem/confidence, I say run, don't walk. If she loves the game now but this experience is making her dread going to tournaments for fear that she'll just sit (I'm not saying that's how she feels, but she might get there if she's not yet), then it's time to go. Playing regularly on a lower level team is better than riding the pine for a higher level team. She'll be happier and, by extension, you will too. Signed, 18U parent who has been there and done that and bought the T-Shirt.
Thank you for response. I don't think it's that bad yet, she hasn't said alot, but we can tell she's thinking.
I have confidence that she will make the choice that suits her best.
Question to the OP, what region of the country are you playing in? Here in the NE, the fall season is the time when coaches find what they have in the field and batting order. Then we go inside for 3-4 months to improve for spring. Once Spring comes, lineups and positions are more defined and it is tougher to break in. Players usually commit for a full year (Sept-July)

Do you feel like DD has had enough exposure to show her strengths and weaknesses?
Question to the OP, what region of the country are you playing in? Here in the NE, the fall season is the time when coaches find what they have in the field and batting order. Then we go inside for 3-4 months to improve for spring. Once Spring comes, lineups and positions are more defined and it is tougher to break in. Players usually commit for a full year (Sept-July)

Do you feel like DD has had enough exposure to show her strengths and weaknesses?
South east. We get to play into Dec if we choose to.
Realistically it works the same. Fall is to see what you have, and make improvements, spring and summer is the real season.
After reading and thinking, I'm pretty sure we are just backups. If someone is out, injured, not able to be there, then they have us. If it was explained to us that way, it would have altered our decision. So instead, we will finish the fall, and then start over.
 

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