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How do you decide?

NBECoach

Learning everyday
Aug 9, 2018
290
43
Playing if even for a team that has lesser talent is preferable to riding the bench for a great/good team. If your DD can develop by playing every game she will eventually get noticed by one of these better teams who may have an opening, Then it's her choice.
 
Apr 28, 2014
1,845
113
I'm a firm believer in kids don't get better by sitting on the bench. If she's seeing limited playing time, she can ask her coach what she can do to get more playing time, If she gets better and gets more playing time, problem solved.

If there isn't anything she can do to get more playing time and she's not happy....notice I said her....then maybe it is time to look elsewhere.

Good luck .
Dave
Not to be rude or argumentative but how do they get better? Playing games? If they are not good then how will games make them better? If the player is a SS she may have 4 opportunities to field ground balls during a game. During a practice she may get 100 balls hit to her. If she is a pitcher and can't get outs how does playing in games help her or her confidence?
I get the importance of games but honestly I see teams in our area that year after year play every weekend game after game and during the week but still at 18u playing low "B" ball.
IF ya want to grow the player then the ratio of 5 to 1 is what you need to do.
5 hours of practice for every 1 hour of game time. Sitting on a bench never killed anyone and in fact probably helped many.
JMO
 
Aug 25, 2019
548
63
Not to be rude or argumentative but how do they get better? Playing games? If they are not good then how will games make them better? If the player is a SS she may have 4 opportunities to field ground balls during a game. During a practice she may get 100 balls hit to her. If she is a pitcher and can't get outs how does playing in games help her or her confidence?
I get the importance of games but honestly I see teams in our area that year after year play every weekend game after game and during the week but still at 18u playing low "B" ball.
IF ya want to grow the player then the ratio of 5 to 1 is what you need to do.
5 hours of practice for every 1 hour of game time. Sitting on a bench never killed anyone and in fact probably helped many.
JMO
Wow, are you saying if you play 3 games on Saturday at 1:30 each you should practice 22.5 hours a week?
 
Mar 8, 2016
196
43
DD was in a similar situation. First full year playing tb as a first year 12u, team played starting 9 every game. They maybe batted an extra girl or 2 in pool play. The low point for dd was a one day tournament. In 5 games she played 5 innings in the field and got 5 ABs. In some tournaments there were girls that never played. This was a bad team that had 2 girls that were better than the rest 2 girls that were at the bottom and 7-8 girls that were all the same. We were told and thought that this was how tb was. We didn't know any better at the time. It was a rough, long season. DD was frustrated but instead of losing her love of the game it inspired her to work harder. Over the winter of second year 12u she was invited to join a very good 12u team that had lost their 1B and needed a player. DD decided to join the team. Coach loved DD's effort and athleticism. First tournament of the spring and she bats lead off and plays every inning. The coaches confidence in her plus her natural talent and hard work caused her softball trajectory to take off. As others have mentioned the softball years fly by. DD is now in college. It is hard to believe how fast her tb career went by. I believe there is best fit for every girl out there. The hardest part as a parent is matching all the variables that a travel team brings to find the best fit for DD. DD's original goal was playing in HS, then it was playing in college. Had she not changed teams in 12u I don't beleive she would be where she is today.
 
Jan 16, 2020
20
3
I think @Quigs10 pretty much nails it. My DD (now 2nd yr 14U) went through something like what you are describing, but at a younger age, 10U and part of 12U. Bat bottom of the order. Rotated with 3 others who were not in the starting 9 in two corner OF positions. Pitched a few garbage innings here and there. Looking back, not sure why we did it or why she didn't want to quit. She was playing with her friends and that must have been enough for her. We also didn't know anything. Not sure we would do it again if we could do it over. She's turned herself into a good player (better than most of the "starters" on those younger teams), but wonder how much better she could be if she was the one getting the 100+ ABs. It did help fuel a drive to get better, so there's that.

You are new to the team and trying to carve out a place. That is difficult. The relationships are new. Still, the facts don't lie. Regardless of what the coaches say, the truth is in the line up card and in who is playing the field. If you have watched that a whole fall season and it hasn't really deviated from what you describe, then that is what you are facing and you know where they see you fitting in. Does it mean it couldn't change? Maybe not. Perhaps some of the players leave for "greener pastures," that certainly happens. Perhaps your DD takes a big leap in her abilities and they are "forced" to play her more. Could happen. But I don't know that you can really expect it to change. They have their starters--right or wrong--and they see your DD as a bench player. Simple as that. If I am right, then the question really becomes: Is your DD satisfied with the role she has been assigned in order to play on this team? Her goals for her softball "career" should drive the decision.

For a position player, I think others here have thrown out the idea that you should be playing at least 50% of the time in your primary position and perhaps another 20-25% in your secondary position. Just not sure what good can come from 75% sitting on the bench. And by the way, you are paying them for her to sit there.
First, thank you for the response. Well worded and from experience, exactly what I am looking for. She is not happy with her playing time. She has mentioned, not really complained, until last tournament a couple of weeks ago.
She has continually improved, and she has made a few plays that got attention, from coaches and other parents. That is probably what has my mind spinning, is that it has become increasingly obvious that she is better than what they keep putting in front of her.
As someone posted earlier, my mind is probably made up, whether I admit it or not, but I try to see things from all angles, then make informed decisions.
So while we have not raised our kids to quit, I hope we have taught them not to be taken advantage of.
Thanks again
 
May 6, 2015
1,678
113
the coach got you (and the families of the other non regulars) to pay him for your DDs to be his insurance policy, they are there just in case, and you are highly unlikely to change this. then gives lame excuses (about to put you in, time expired, etc.). just toss him a proforma thank you and move on.
 
Jan 16, 2020
20
3
DD was in a similar situation. First full year playing tb as a first year 12u, team played starting 9 every game. They maybe batted an extra girl or 2 in pool play. The low point for dd was a one day tournament. In 5 games she played 5 innings in the field and got 5 ABs. In some tournaments there were girls that never played. This was a bad team that had 2 girls that were better than the rest 2 girls that were at the bottom and 7-8 girls that were all the same. We were told and thought that this was how tb was. We didn't know any better at the time. It was a rough, long season. DD was frustrated but instead of losing her love of the game it inspired her to work harder. Over the winter of second year 12u she was invited to join a very good 12u team that had lost their 1B and needed a player. DD decided to join the team. Coach loved DD's effort and athleticism. First tournament of the spring and she bats lead off and plays every inning. The coaches confidence in her plus her natural talent and hard work caused her softball trajectory to take off. As others have mentioned the softball years fly by. DD is now in college. It is hard to believe how fast her tb career went by. I believe there is best fit for every girl out there. The hardest part as a parent is matching all the variables that a travel team brings to find the best fit for DD. DD's original goal was playing in HS, then it was playing in college. Had she not changed teams in 12u I don't beleive she would be where she is today.
We were similar starting. Bad team, most girls about the same, couple pretty good, couple bad. The difference was, the coach knew that and tried to move people around. My DD has started at every position, minus P & C, in a travel game. True utility.
My problem with current situation boils down to this. The usual 2nd base, gets moved to OF, so usual SS can play 2nd. Then starting OF gets moved to SS, and usually switch 1st and 3rd, or 3rd moves to OF. Again, all of this while my DD sits and watches.
Maybe she is not blowing them away at practice or warmups. She's not vocal, not gonna be the center of attention, but is gonna play when given the chance.
 
Jan 16, 2020
20
3
the coach got you (and the families of the other non regulars) to pay him for your DDs to be his insurance policy, they are there just in case, and you are highly unlikely to change this. then gives lame excuses (about to put you in, time expired, etc.). just toss him a proforma thank you and move on.
Pretty sure that is the plan. Unless we see dramatic differences in last tournament, for entire team, not just mine. And thank you for the response
 

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