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How do i get my coach to notice my daughter?

May 21, 2009
Hello, my daughter has inly been playing for one season,she plays first base and is very good at it and i am not saying that just bcause she is my kid. She has made the all star team,My question is how long dose it take a coach to usally see her talent at first base...i'm worried she will get bored in the out field and not want to play? any advice i would love!
We have been with the same coach for 2 seasons. Had my dd on 3rd all season (leftie) until All-Star tourney time when we picked up a few other girls from other teams. He put my dd in right field (perfect side of the field for a leftie). She saw plenty of action and was glad to be there b/c she could get the ball back in field. She is now on 1st. She has been to pitching lessons (as the coach knows) and he has yet to put her on the mound. He has warmed up with her, worked with her at practices, etc., and still won't play her in that position. IMHO as a parent, I would let it run its course. The coach will let you know when he is ready to "notice" her. Some coaches do not do well at the whole "praise" thing - patting your child on the back. Sometimes that is left up to the parents. Also, depending on the age group, the outfield REALLY isn't a bad place to be sometimes - our age group gets more action out than they do on the in field! :) Good luck!
May 21, 2009
How to get the coach to notice my daughter?

I agree with you on this...But the beging of all star are couch gace the girls a big old speech about how bad the girls want this and no crying or fighting you girl stuff, I have made it clear to my daughter that outfield is just as inportant as in field, mean while his daughter and the Ass.Couch's daugter fight,crying, And yet he dose not stick to his word...Know my daughter feels like her couch is a lier. What do i do about that?
How does he not "stick to his word"? Did he tell your dd that she'd be playing in a certain position? Also, you have to remember (as hard as it is sometimes) that he is the coach and IF his dd is on the team, he is (more than likely) going to tolerate a lot more out of her than he will the other girls on the team. Our coaching staff is phenomenal and all 4 have dd's on our team. The head coach's dd is actually sanctioned 10U, but since he is coaching us, too, she is playing up on 12U. She does not get field time (unless a 12 is not there), but she is in our batting line-up. Should she bat for us? Probably not b/c she is one of the weaker batters. However, she is his dd and he is volunteering his time to coach. I don't think y'all's coach is a liar...he may have been caught up in something else or distracted and may not have noticed the crying, fighting, etc.. Fighting amongst players is not a good thing at all. It only takes one bad attitude to bring down the entire team. Tell your dd to keep her head up, STAY OUT of all the fighting and petty things and to just play ball. Sometimes I tell my dd that she is not there to make friends - she is there to play ball. She gets along fine with the girls on her team b/c she keeps her attitude up and stays out of the little petty stuff - it'll all come out in the wash! :) It is nothing to worry about or get yourself tied up in knots over, either. Pick your battles with your dd on this one - IMHO. Also, as a parent (once again, and by far and large not the "authority" on any of this) I never down talk the coach. I hold him in as high regard as teachers - he is ALWAYS right unless I know otherwise. If you talk ugly about her coach in front of her (or to other parents/children on the team), it will give her a negative feeling about him and she will be less willing to get out there and learn. She will more than likely have an attitude. Be positive - this is a learning experience and a fun one at that! :)
Jan 15, 2009
Every parent looks at their kid through rose colored glasses. It's human nature, I do it, you do it, we all do it. Some of the lenses are tinted more than others, but we all are guilty on some level. If the coach thinks his daughter is slightly better than your daughter and you think the opposite it might be that your both skewed slightly in your perspective and not something to get overly worked up about.

I've always told my kids that they shouldn't expect to get an opportunity over someone else when they are "just as good" or "slightly better" they should only expect that opportunity when they are demonstrably better than their competition. I.e. just because your kid went 3 for 5 last game and the coaches kid went 2 for 5, don't expect to move up the batting roster. If over 10 games your batting .500 and the coaches kid is below .200 something should give. Most positions other than pitcher or catcher don't get frequent opportunities to demonstrate above average ability. At 1B you might make 12 outs in a game, but if they all were just standing there catching a ball that was thrown chest high, your not really showing anyone anything special. Now if your kid can layout a full stretch on 6 of those and make the play on a close one, and make a few saves on bad throws, now your showing something, but the problem is not every game provides those opportunities and many positions SS, 3B, 2B get even fewer opportunities.

So the only place your going to get a consistant chance to show your ability is in practice. If your kid really wants to improve her position, she needs to treat each practice as a tryout and bring game intensity to every practice situation. 90% of kids can't do that. The 10% that can get noticed. Nothing is more apparent to a coach than a kid that is practicing with 100% commitment in with a bunch of kids going through the motions at 80%.


Aug 21, 2008
Boston, MA
Don't worry about it. Have DD focus on improving herself and having fun doing it. I agree with "show up for practice and make the most of it". Allstars Last year didn't pick some of the girls they should've and picked several because they were coaches daughter's friends or other coaches dd's.

My DD was on the team and i think she had fun, but she was treated like a 2nd class citizen. I'm still pissed about it. Even the few newspaper writeups there were credited other girls with DD's hits (she batted cleanup and hit something like .800 in the series against 3 other towns). In one game she went 4/4 with 3 doubles and it was all credited to another girl who happens to know that she is God's gift to any team lucky enough to have her.

If she doesn't make all-stars this year, that'll be very ok.
May 18, 2009
It's always been hard being on a team with coaches daughter. This year we don't have a coaches daughter and I absolutely love it. We have an assistant coaches daughter and she earns every bit of her position, something I respect. It's the first team my daughter has been on that I don't see bias. Coaches mantra is earn your spot in practice and if you don't like how many plays or games you were in on, perform better at practice. We had the first casualty, a player drop, because she didn't feel like she got enough playing time. The sad part is she was improving.

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