Helping a heartbroken daughter
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And train a freshman or sophomore to pitch, in a hurry!
by the way, I feel you. DD1 played a winter sport (not her primary sport) for the HS as frosh, mostly because she had done it all her life, and she has a lot of freinds who did this sport. HC (teacher from another district) puts out mesage at beginning of the year that here is the criteria for earning a Varsity letter. this is a sport that the school has trouble getting enough people to come out for, so HC wlecomed DD1, even though she was upfront with him, her primary sport (which was out of season for HS, but has an indoor season in winter at club/recruting level) would come first, but really very few conflicts were envisioned. about 2/3 way through the season, we see she is on track to meet the criteria he indicated (including practice attendence). she misses one meet because of a conflict with her primary sport (it was a friday night, and we had to drive friday night for 8 am games the next morning). at banquest after season, she does not get letter, and I see she is upset, mad, and embarrased all at once. Once they are done handing out letters, I ask her if she wants to just leave, but she says no, she will stay and celebrate a good season with all her friends.
so frustrating that this coach looked for reasons not to hand out a varisty letter. We spoke to AD, who is also a coach, and he said he cannot interfere, but that he looks for reasons to hand out letters, not reasons not to (unless related to inappropriate behaviour, etc.). this team would not have been near as good without DD1 as it was with her.
she is used to it though, HC at HS for her primary sport treated her about same, dressed for every varsity game, had to carry water to other GK on the team, never saw one minute of action, because other GK was on year ahead of her.
so frustrating that this coach looked for reasons not to hand out a varisty letter. We spoke to AD, who is also a coach, and he said he cannot interfere, but that he looks for reasons to hand out letters, not reasons not to (unless related to inappropriate behaviour, etc.). this team would not have been near as good without DD1 as it was with her.
she is used to it though, HC at HS for her primary sport treated her about same, dressed for every varsity game, had to carry water to other GK on the team, never saw one minute of action, because other GK was on year ahead of her.
actually, this is what the coaching staff should be doing. they are reveling in current situation of too much pitching it sounds like, it will balance over time most likely.
It's HS ball. EVERYONE I know complains about HS ball. I know of good players who decided that HS ball wasn't worth the hassle and were happy just playing travel. That said, if you want to play school ball no matter what, being the starting anything on JV is better than the varsity bench.
This sounds really similar to many stories I've read here, and even reminds me of my own experiences in HS a lot. I ended up not pursuing Varsity my Jr and Sr years and just playing travel way back in the day due to a really similar situation as what you describe. Like eerily similar. The best advice you can give her is that none of this HS stuff matters. It really doesn't. The girl who was a few years ahead of me and the starting pitcher - I have run into her in life now. She has daughters who play, one of whom recently quit softball. She did well in college and in her professionaly life, but never played softball competitively again. I've done really well for myself too. None of which had to do with softball.
I ran into a few of my travel teammates in my adult lifewho were way better than me in HS (in my opinion). One is a waitress, one is a teacher. They are fine, they don't play softball anymore either.
Hard to have this perspective at 16-17. Life is unfair, and it sucks, it's embarassing for her (in her mind) -- but in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. I'm not sure how you convey that to her other than being there for her and encouraging her travel pursuits.
I ran into a few of my travel teammates in my adult lifewho were way better than me in HS (in my opinion). One is a waitress, one is a teacher. They are fine, they don't play softball anymore either.
Hard to have this perspective at 16-17. Life is unfair, and it sucks, it's embarassing for her (in her mind) -- but in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. I'm not sure how you convey that to her other than being there for her and encouraging her travel pursuits.
Right! although I agree it's hard to take when you are actually in HS, it all doesn't matter. When my son graduate HS a few years ago, we went to the academic awards ceremony senior year (he was no jock). He got one award, but you see some kids getting quite a few. Same with Varisty letters and such. When I saw him get his diploma and step off the stage, I said to myself then "no one gives a damn what you did in high school now", and he agreed. yes, it's good to get good grades and awards and accolades to help with college, but that's about it. It's sad when people say high school were their best years, that means you are living a pretty crummy life.
what would the team mom do if her DD was placed on JV?poison the snacks?
While in this case her DD is one of the best players, lots of times it’s the reason someone becomes team mom.
in this case she’s very nice, handles the team logistics, pre-COVID set up the signup genius for travel food for away games, uniforms, fundraising, stuff like that. I didnt mean to disparage her, but reading comments it does sound like the coach may not be living up to everything being a coach entails.
- Jun 16, 2010
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As much as I tried to tell my wife and kids that getting a high school ring was stupid to wear for a few months and then never again....... I had to pay for them. And my kids went to fancy private schools with people that had a lot of money..... So they didn't get ultrium rings with synthetic stones.... At least DD got silver/ruby...... Son got gold. Complete utter waste of money. Imo. I didn't get a high school ring I didn't even get a college ring. Nor have I ever wanted one. Once upon a time 35 yrs ago, I gave college $ and they gave me a diploma, fair trade.
My wife was the only one who wanted to get our kids school rings, Son didn't want it, never wore it, DD didn't want it, doesn't wear it, I didn't want them, but wifey always win, and they got their rings. At least DD's has a softball on it!
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