Help me help my DD

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Jun 12, 2019
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There are a couple clinics/camps we are considering fuzzy, thanks.

Sjw, we have had a couple conversations that seemed productive while we were talking but the words were never transferred into actions. My DD even went directly to the coach and asked what she could do to play more and was told to keep working on what you're working on and keep practicing. 2 weeks later she played 1 inning in a tournament game and one of less committed girls missed an entire game for soccer and played the entire next game.
 
Sep 29, 2014
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I hesitate to say this but I did notice something that kind of concerns me a little.

"in order to stack the 12U rec team the president/coach moved all of my DDs friends up to 12U except her. "
"2 girls are added to the roster that are not starter quality players ....My DD went from playing every inning every game to being lucky if she sees the field "



Unfortunately it sounds like other coaches have a different assessment of your DD abilities. Not sure how birthday cutoffs are working but if she is going to keep playing travel ball I would work really hard during the off season (practice, batting cages, camps, etc.) and I would find a first year 12U B/C team that is looking to develop players and move up to A/B the following year when all the girls are older. The biggest thing you have to do is find a coach that will be honest and give you feedback. Maybe talk to her current coach not about "my DD doesn't play anymore but she is better than play x" but "what areas does my DD need to improve in to get more playing time". Make him be concrete hit more balls to the grass, develop arm strength for better throws....
 
Jun 12, 2019
35
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Our biggest fear is just that she will lose the enjoyment/love of the game. Idc if she is the best player on the team but i feel like coaches should help to foster a budding love of the game.

Not to sound like a jerk, but girls feel first and will respond accordingly.
 
Jun 12, 2019
35
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Djcarter - do not hesitate to speak your mind with me. I will be the first to say my DD is not the best on the team and I do my best to view everything from a coaches standpoint (I've coached soccer, baseball, and football and my kids have never been the best or even top 10% on the team.

But when I see girls that never hit the ball, never get on base unless walked, can't be bothered to move out of position to make a play, or that just flat out don't apply the commitment demanded by the coaches, get 95% more playing time than DD I have to question something.

I am by know means angry, just confused. It could be something I'm not seeing, but conversations with the coaches haven't yielded much insight or results either unfortunately.

We will keep working and trying to improve in the off-season.
 
May 6, 2015
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So my suggestion for those just stepping into TB, step softbly. Don't jump to the best organization that has all of the trophies. Why? Cause they usually have a goal in mind to build the best team and play the best 9 at all times (if not most of the time). While that is great down the road, first season in TB it will feel terrible. "why am I paying all of this money and my DD isn't playing" Well she was awesome in rec ball....... this isn't rec ball anymore. I would consider starting with a C level team that is focused on development and see where it goes. Take off the parent glasses and see what she actually needs to work on.

at 10u, any level travel team not focused on development is very shortsighted. at that age, a lot of who is "A" level and who is "C" level is about who has matured physically and who has not. 10u should be all about player development, with maybe one or two tournaments with a real push to win.
 
Oct 4, 2018
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Ugh. I feel for you.

I help coach a 10U Travel team. We started in C and won enough to move to B. We have a few superstars and some that aren't as good.

We play them almost equally. Part of that is that we have a lean team -- 11 players. We make the superstars sit an inning here and there just like the other girls. We're developing players, teaching teamwork, not chasing trophies. We let girls work on new positions they desire in practice and try to get them reps there during (pools) games and scrimmages. Scores don't matter much to us -- hustle, drive, development and having fun do.

In a championship game or do-or-die game we sometimes flex two girls, letting the better hitter hit and the better batter bat. And those parents understand their girls need to work a bit more to earn their way out of those situations. I'm sure they're not 100% happy, but we're clear and honest and stick to our word. Stats, game footage and observation support our decisions. We don't play favorites. We sit the coaches' kids as much or more than the others.

... and we have a contract with the players and parents. We honor the contract. Girl misses practice without letting us know, she doesn't play first tournament game. Girl is late to practice or tournament, she bats last in the order at the next tournament game. All in the contract, signed by parents. It's nice in shutting down complaints. "Hey, you signed the contract. It says that..."

We're not perfect, but it sounds like you and your DD would be more happy with a team like ours. I'm sharing how we do things so you can perhaps look for these as you explore other teams.
 
Jul 14, 2018
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Is this a legit travel ball team that you're dealing with, or is it more of a town travel, girls-and-parents-all-know-each-other kind of situation? If new players just showed up and are getting much more playing time despite equal or lower skills and less commitment, it sounds to me like they're friends of the coach and/or his daughter. And that's okay -- early 10's need committed parents to coach, it's not an easy gig.

Just keep in mind that there may not be much your DD can do to crack the lineup if a subset of the team is going out together after games.

With that said, you also mentioned that your daughter tends to catch balls at her side, which is a big problem for a middle infielder. If you read through the threads here on DFP, a recurring theme is that you cannot leave your daughter's development to team coaches. They have a dozen or more girls to work with and limited time. If you can't get out and help your daughter develop outside of team practices, then find some local coaches or clinics who can.
 
Oct 4, 2018
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Yeah, luckily our HC is great and has sat her daughter entire games. No parent will ever call us "daddy ball". Well, at least not with any validity.

There are so many travel teams out there. All the ones you play against but also ones playing in other tournaments you don't play in. If you do your research, you can find those teams. If you live in/near a big city, the options will be tremendous.

There are online message boards where coaches post their team needs, try-out dates, etc. Try to find the one near you.
 
Oct 4, 2018
4,611
113
Is this a legit travel ball team that you're dealing with, or is it more of a town travel, girls-and-parents-all-know-each-other kind of situation? If new players just showed up and are getting much more playing time despite equal or lower skills and less commitment, it sounds to me like they're friends of the coach and/or his daughter. And that's okay -- early 10's need committed parents to coach, it's not an easy gig.

Just keep in mind that there may not be much your DD can do to crack the lineup if a subset of the team is going out together after games.

With that said, you also mentioned that your daughter tends to catch balls at her side, which is a big problem for a middle infielder. If you read through the threads here on DFP, a recurring theme is that you cannot leave your daughter's development to team coaches. They have a dozen or more girls to work with and limited time. If you can't get out and help your daughter develop outside of team practices, then find some local coaches or clinics who can.

Two very good points.

It reads to me like these other girls parents are friends with the coach. And that's how life works, it's who you know, not what you know. Hard to break that trend.

Also, throwing and catching are vital. Just watching a girl play catch in warm-ups we can tell if that girl belongs on the field with us. If there's any moving out of the way of the ball, hesitation with catching, etc. the girls really fall quickly to the bottom of the list.

When you have a girl who always throws accurately and catches the ball, you get a lot of confidence in playing that girl. I'd work really, really hard with your DD on those skills.
 

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