HC says he's too easy on his U14 players....Intentionally.!

[NBECoach]

I agreed to help a TB team of U14's because the new HC asked me to whenever I had time. I had done this for other TB teams in previous years as a means of keeping the kids in softball.

The kids are out of control. Talking, goofing around, not paying attention, but since I'm only an instructor I can't really say much. Last week Monday I decided I'd better tell the HC to get them under control or I'm gone.

The email is as follows:
I'm sorry if I seemed a little edgy Monday night but the behavior of most of the players was the cause. Here I am volunteering my time trying to help these kids get better, but they ignore my instructions and make little to no effort to listen. I am also very disappointed in the disrespectful way they treat you. Heck you could be golfing every summer weekend but instead your going to be spending your time coaching. I guess the players don't see it that way

I think I've been to 7 or 8 total practices all with the same mood. And well, they don't WANT to get any better. You can tell by their attitude. I'm going to give this one more week and if I get the same behavior I'm sorry to say that I am done. I don't expect them to suddenly perform like Mickey Mantle, but I expect them to TRY with energy and effort. It's been that way since the beginning and that frustrates me to no end.

His reply:
Don’t apologize for being edgy, I felt the same way and I share your frustration but I WILL GET THIS CORRECTED.

Part of the problem is mine, I have intentionally been easy on the girls mainly because the last coach was constantly hard on them to the point that several quit the sport. I guess he was too hard and I have been too soft. Its time for me to be more demanding of them and push them more.

I stepped into the Head Coach position because nobody would/could and otherwise the team would fold. I know you have a hell of a lot more experience at this than I do. You have no idea how much I appreciate your time and effort. I would hate to lose your counsel and experience. I would ask for a little more time to get this corrected. I truly appreciate your helping me make the girl’s better players.

I suggested he have a meeting with the players about coaches behavior expectations. He agreed. I will see tonight what happens.

 

[BT3100]

At that age it all stems from the parents allowing what is happening. If he can't get the parents buy in then the kids will never come around.
He should start with the parents imo

 

[radness]

I agreed to help a TB team of U14's because the new HC asked me to whenever I had time. I had done this for other TB teams in previous years as a means of keeping the kids in softball.

The kids are out of control. Talking, goofing around, not paying attention, but since I'm only an instructor I can't really say much. Last week Monday I decided I'd better tell the HC to get them under control or I'm gone.

The email is as follows:
I'm sorry if I seemed a little edgy Monday night but the behavior of most of the players was the cause. Here I am volunteering my time trying to help these kids get better, but they ignore my instructions and make little to no effort to listen. I am also very disappointed in the disrespectful way they treat you. Heck you could be golfing every summer weekend but instead your going to be spending your time coaching. I guess the players don't see it that way

I think I've been to 7 or 8 total practices all with the same mood. And well, they don't WANT to get any better. You can tell by their attitude. I'm going to give this one more week and if I get the same behavior I'm sorry to say that I am done. I don't expect them to suddenly perform like Mickey Mantle, but I expect them to TRY with energy and effort. It's been that way since the beginning and that frustrates me to no end.

His reply:
Don’t apologize for being edgy, I felt the same way and I share your frustration but I WILL GET THIS CORRECTED.

Part of the problem is mine, I have intentionally been easy on the girls mainly because the last coach was constantly hard on them to the point that several quit the sport. I guess he was too hard and I have been too soft. Its time for me to be more demanding of them and push them more.

I stepped into the Head Coach position because nobody would/could and otherwise the team would fold. I know you have a hell of a lot more experience at this than I do. You have no idea how much I appreciate your time and effort. I would hate to lose your counsel and experience. I would ask for a little more time to get this corrected. I truly appreciate your helping me make the girl’s better players.

I suggested he have a meeting with the players about coaches behavior expectations. He agreed. I will see tonight what happens.

Any particular reason you waited 7-8 practices to share a conversation with HC about it?

 

[NBECoach]

I've dropped hints over the past practices about behavior issues hoping to prompt the HC into action. I thouught that maybe the "more into softball" girls would be a bit more forceful, but the reverse has happened. The HC's daughter is one of the main offenders.

 

[Rolling Hard]

At that age it all stems from the parents allowing what is happening. If he can't get the parents buy in then the kids will never come around.
He should start with the parents imo

This is exactly what I was thinking. But then you explain the the HCs DD is one of the worst offenders. Think I am out of there. You don't have to be an asshole to demand attention when talking. You don't have to be loud to communicate. If the players have not been taught to have eyes and ears on the coach, that's a parenting problem. And at 14u it's a big problem. Give the HC a Tony Dungy book as a parting gift.

 

[flash277]

I wouldn't blame the parents so much. 14U is the time when girls decide if they are gonna take softball seriously or not. The coach should have a meeting pronto and tell them that play time is over. If they want to play softball at a high level, listen to the coaches and put in the effort, if not, then walk away and don't waste anyone's time.

 

[Strike2]

I had a similar problem at 14U. A decent guy who knew something about softball, but most of the players (including his half-engaged DD) were from the same private HS, all played on the school ball team, and all thought they could get away with murder. I had no intention of coaching that year, but got asked to assist when he found out about my experience from another parent whose kid had played for me previously.

The only kids who were respectful and put out the right level of effort were a few of the extras that he brought in to round out the team. Predictably, the performance of the private HS prima donnas matched their attitude. He tried (nicely) to get them in line, and encouraged me to speak up when I thought necessary, but then too often failed to back me up. We had a couple of "one more chance" conversations. Even though I had another place to immediately go, I agreed to stick with him, and nearly ended up in a fight with a parent for my trouble.

Not one of the private HS kids ever played another travel ball game after that 14U season. They played school ball, but nowhere else. The only ones who pressed on in travel ball were a handfull of the motivated "extras" who could take instruction without an attitude.

An HC can easily go too far, but I think I'd rather have one that starts out being a bit too hard than too soft. Kids who are mouthy, lazy, and self-entitled usually learned it at home. They try to take advantage of people they view as soft, and their parents will react strongly when their little princess gets corrected. Those people need to get cleared out quickly. HC's who set the right tone from the start have fewer problems in the long run. It's always easier to throttle back than to suddenly get tough.

 

[radness]

The kids are out of control.
His reply:
Part of the problem is mine, I have intentionally been easy on the girls mainly because the last coach was constantly hard on them to the point that several quit the sport. I guess he was too hard and I have been too soft. Its time for me to be more demanding of them and push them more.

I stepped into the Head Coach position because nobody would/could and otherwise the team would fold. I know you have a hell of a lot more experience at this than I do. You have no idea how much I appreciate your time and effort. I would hate to lose your counsel and experience. I would ask for a little more time to get this corrected. I truly appreciate your helping me make the girl’s better players.

I suggested he have a meeting with the players about coaches behavior expectations. He agreed. I will see tonight what happens.

Just for conversation~
Why was the old coach hard on them all the time?
Cuz the group doesn't push themselves.
The dont try as you have noticed.
There not respectful.
They dont listen.
Goof off.
*Those are reasons you want more standards too!
Brings this discussion~
Why did old coach move on?
Just sayin'
This group may not be into it to grow as athletes... someone quit befor cuz it was hard.


____________________
As a side note~
This is one of the situations that can happen in h.s.!
Not all players want to be in a situation like that. And not all coaches either!

 

[FP26]

When I read threads like this, all I can do is count my blessings. I cannot say that I really had any of these issues throughout 14 years of coaching various sports at various levels. I do not claim to be a great coach, I pride myself on being open and honest. I always try to make it fun for the players while pushing them at the same time.

High school was a complete different situation... Most of them were good kids, but it was pretty clear most didn't want to be there...

 

[NBECoach]

I think I've just about had it with this group.

The HC handed out a list of expectations of players, coaches, and parents which was fine in theory. I could see many of the players looking at each other and rolling their eyes as if to say lets get this over with. No one has any questions or comments.

So the HC begins practice with a quick throw drill which I stopped after wild throws and drops. No one catches with 2 hands with the ball within the body(hence the drops). No one brings the ball to the middle and then break(hence the wild throws). All that I had attempted to show them went in one ear and out the other.

Even the HC's DD who is the best player on the team dropped 3 throws because she is a flipper. I may as well be speaking a foreign language. Even showing them again and again does nothing.

Uless someone can give me a good reason to stay I'm gone.