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Have you ever picked the team for your DD?

Oct 4, 2018
920
63
As parents we certainly guide our kids, even plant seeds.

My DD had several offers and I let her pick. I would have picked differently. Oh well. She's 10, so it's not a big deal at all. The team I liked most said they'll continue to recruit her, which was nice to hear.

Obviously as a parent we can make the decision. Based on our knowledge or gut feel, or the commute, coaching staff, etc. I know families where the parents are 100% in charge of the decision, though most I know probably discuss it and come to agreement.
 
Jun 12, 2015
3,799
83
At 10 it was easy to steer her. She really didn't care what team she was on, she just wanted to play. We'd lay out why we liked X team and not Y team and she'd say ok, and that was that. These days (she's almost 13) she has many opinions. This year we're not steering. We'll give our input but it'll be her choice.
 
Aug 2, 2019
95
33
My daughter would have just picked the first team that offered. She doesn't like tryouts. Nope, we're looking at everybody. We went to 4 and got 3 offers. She's happy with the choice, but I decided. Hopefully we found her a home for a while, so next time it will be on her.
 
Dec 2, 2013
1,002
63
Texas
That's a great question. I was speaking to a dad friend of a pitcher that reached out me to ask about moving teams. He said that his DD didn't mesh well with the new incoming coach, she is a Senior, not being actively recruited, the team doesn't play the tourneys they should be playing, or at least I never see them, they have been over promised many things and I am thinking, Dude get her out of there and bring her over for a tryout! You are running out of time. Ultimately, they don't come to tryouts and he says that she is gonna stick it out for her remaining year. Stick it out? He said that he "let his DD" make the decision... allegedly.

Ultimately, we have to be parents, we have to make the hard choices and do what is in the best interests of our DD's especially when it comes to recruitment. Sticking it out sounds like a prison sentence. If she stays on that team she might have sealed her fate. It's almost like the battered wife's syndrome where she keeps going back to a terrible situation and thinking the husband will be better this time and change. I really hope it works out them, but I just hate watching it from afar.
 
May 6, 2015
1,131
63
kind of a joint effort, or more like DD gets to choose but DW and I have veto power. generally, we have all been in agreement on our choice at the time. we were also all in agreement after a season (a spring or a fall) that it was a bad choice in hindsight when that has been the case.
 
Jun 11, 2012
433
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I guided her, maybe steered a little because I could see things she might miss and we’d discuss the potential red flags I saw. Ultimately it was her decision including the college she committed to but she was always open to my views and opinions.
 
Jul 16, 2013
3,124
83
Pennsylvania
DD has had a say since day 1. At ages 10 and 11 she tried out for teams but decided she didnt want to do 15+ tournaments at that age. At 12 she found a team that was planning on 10 tourneys. She said yes and we agreed. At 14 she tried out for a team 90 minutes away. She was offered a spot and wanted to do it. We were on board until we found out that practice would be on Tuesday and Thursday at 4 pm. Neither my wife or I could get out of work to make that plus we didnt like the idea of taking her out of school early for practice. She wanted to say yes but DW and I ultimately said no to that one. Otherwise the decision has been predominantly hers.
 
May 24, 2013
10,289
113
So Cal
My DD's teams (10U and 14U) were ones that I picked for her to try out with after looking at location, schedule, cost, and talking to the coaches. On both teams she was invited to join - and she accepted - without going to look at another team. Both were great fits for her. Now (going into 16U) is the first time she is trying out for multiple teams. We have talked her needs and wants in her development and enjoyment, on her path towards her goal of playing college ball. From there, I narrowed the field to teams that check off the boxes that we discussed, based on team history, discussion with the coaches, and information from parents I know on both teams. The final decision on which team she goes with will be hers. This is the first time that joining a team with friends isn't a top priority on her list.
 
May 27, 2013
368
28
Dd didn’t have much choice from 8U - 13U as I was her coach. Once she was 14 I helped guide her, but ultimately the choice was hers. I would just lay out the pros and cons of each team and she’d decide from there. If I left it entirely up to her she’d never believe in herself enough to have taken the path she did. She’s an extremely humble kid.
 

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