GOOD PLAYER ~~ bad person

[radness]

Seems every season this topic
GOOD PLAYER/bad person happens on some team or age bracket. When a coach or people brings it up to talk.
After describing over and over the complications from it...
My reply now is not a discussion.
Its an answer!

GET RID OF THEM

Perhaps ya'all here would like to discuss it.

Or maybe you just have answer too!

ENJOY A HEALTHY TEAM EXPERIENCE !

 

[BRsoftballDad]

Yup....you can also say the same about parents. Good Player, Bad Parents....gone. Bad Kids or bad parents can infect a team.

 

[CoachJD]

I have a hard time calling a kid a "bad person." They might have poor work ethic or a bad attitude or might not get along with teammates, but they're kids. They're still learning how to be a person. I think it's at least worth it to try to correct the issue, even if it may not work most of the time.

But bad parents? Yeah, they gotta go. That's never gonna change.

And yes, I realize the kid with all those problems I listened probably is the result of bad parents.

 

[justanotherguy]

I really think we need a definition of "bad person". As I posted in the college sub forum, my DD is not a great "teammate". She's on the more definite side of being an introvert and this is just who she is. We've never gone to "team functions" as those are an exercise in "How awkward can you make us feel?". Performance wise though, she rocked it. Best batter on any team she's ever been on since she picked up a bat. Would she be a "good player ~~ bad person"? By some extroverts, yes. No chanting, no loud clapping, no hanging out with the girls or caring about who had sex with who...

 

[KPower]

DD had a bad apple on her team a couple years ago. She was a poison. Did everything she could to bring the other players down. She would scream at other players on the field and laugh at strike outs. Her parents would sit behind the dugout and taunt other players (from both teams) and tell their own DD when she was catching to "maybe try for once to not screw up" (although their language was much more colorful) The umps had to ask the parents to zip it on several occasions. At the end of the season DD was struggling. She loved the coach (although as a parent I felt he should have shut the girl and her parents down much sooner) and all the other girls on the team. Finally we decided we had to give the coach an ultimatum. DD or the other player. I HATED to do that but DD could not survive another season like that. Come to find out he got the same ultimatum from 6 other families as well. The year after the bad apple was let go was amazing. Coach claims he didn't know how bad it was...but I think he was trying to give her a chance - but it went on way too long.

So yes - it doesn't matter how amazing a player she is - if she is poison cut her loose.

 

[uncdrew]

When I coached girls got lots of "tries". You teach, you correct, you explain. Let them learn and hopefully watch them improve.

Parents get two tries (in most cases). First one is a stern warning with explanation next time they're gone. Then follow through.

It's really not hard to be a good parent.

 

[texasheat]

DD had a bad apple on her team a couple years ago. She was a poison. Did everything she could to bring the other players down. She would scream at other players on the field and laugh at strike outs. Her parents would sit behind the dugout and taunt other players (from both teams) and tell their own DD when she was catching to "maybe try for once to not screw up" (although their language was much more colorful) The umps had to ask the parents to zip it on several occasions. At the end of the season DD was struggling. She loved the coach (although as a parent I felt he should have shut the girl and her parents down much sooner) and all the other girls on the team. Finally we decided we had to give the coach an ultimatum. DD or the other player. I HATED to do that but DD could not survive another season like that. Come to find out he got the same ultimatum from 6 other families as well. The year after the bad apple was let go was amazing. Coach claims he didn't know how bad it was...but I think he was trying to give her a chance - but it went on way too long.

So yes - it doesn't matter how amazing a player she is - if she is poison cut her loose.

Good post. Sometimes making the difficult decision to cut the bad apple is a blessing to the bad apple because they now realize there are ramifications to their actions.

 

[bmakj]

I really think we need a definition of "bad person". As I posted in the college sub forum, my DD is not a great "teammate". She's on the more definite side of being an introvert and this is just who she is. We've never gone to "team functions" as those are an exercise in "How awkward can you make us feel?". Performance wise though, she rocked it. Best batter on any team she's ever been on since she picked up a bat. Would she be a "good player ~~ bad person"? By some extroverts, yes. No chanting, no loud clapping, no hanging out with the girls or caring about who had sex with who...

to me, this is not a bad person, maybe not a "great" teammate, but not a bad one either, guess you would call it nuetral. now, if she was in competition for a spot, and all other factors balanced out, this might be tipping point, but definitely not a player you need to excise before the cancer grows

 

[Lemond]

Seems every season this topic
GOOD PLAYER/bad person happens on some team or age bracket. When a coach or people brings it up to talk.
After describing over and over the complications from it...
My reply now is not a discussion.
Its an answer!

GET RID OF THEM

Nice option for TB or HS, but not as easy for rec ball where the policies tend to favor forgiveness over enforcement. We're typically trying to keep girls from leaving the sport here, and there are not really other options for them in the area. On the other hand, I know of girls who have left the sport (my DD was almost one of them last year) directly because of these "bad seeds." And, yes, especially as you go from 2nd-yr 12U and into 14U, these are no longer innocent kids who just have bad parental influence (although this is usually the root cause); these are now young women who know the difference between right/wrong, and have made a choice to be horrible people.

I think that much of this discussion could go back to another thread on the forum a couple of months ago where the loose topic was that the culture of youth sports is really in dire need of a change to hold parents in particular accountable for their behavior and actions, but also to hold coaches accountable for enforcing the repercussions for the bad behavior.

There are times where, as @KPower noted, the coaches, while aware of the issues in general, do NOT realize the magnitude. Coaches can be very focused on the game and completely miss the bad behavior that is taking place (especially if it is in the stands). We had a grandmother and a few others choose to go sit in the 105 degree sun away from our canopied bleachers during a tourney because of foul language and bad behavior from one parent. Unfortunately, no one told coaches about it until the tourney was over. Discussions still took place, but the correction could have happened earlier if coaches had known on day 1.

 

[GELLO]

My daughters have fortunately been on travel and Rec teams with good teammates and parents.

Unfortunately I can’t say the same about school teams. It can be toxic.... always the coaches fault and always looking out for #1. Some folks have no concept or TEAM.