General advice for softball parents of talented players

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Sep 29, 2010
1,082
83
Knoxville, TN
That "little regional team" could lay the smack down on some of those "national teams". I know, I've watched them do it. šŸ˜ƒ
Haha! Thank you. The 2018 summer team had a lot of talent. Kenzie and Gibbā€™s Ace were the two babies on that team. The rest were 99ā€™s and 00ā€™s. Every kid on that team played in college from JUCO to a D1 PWO. They were all just a bunch of winners. Had 7 TN HS state champions from different classifications. I believe all but one had made it to the final 8 at State.
 
Jul 29, 2013
6,782
113
North Carolina
Thank you for sharing. I'm glad to hear she made the Dean's list (to my amazement, my DD did also in her first semester).

I hope when the season starts, and all of the work starts paying off, that she will find the love again.
Thanks IRONMAN, and congratulations on DD and the Deanā€™s list! Theyā€™re busy girls!
 
Jul 29, 2013
6,782
113
North Carolina
That "little regional team" could lay the smack down on some of those "national teams". I know, I've watched them do it. šŸ˜ƒ
Yeah Iā€™ve got to see Kenzieā€™s team play several times, well couldnā€™t really watch them cause Jdaddy talks so much! šŸ˜† Meeting and getting to hang out with him a little was always a treat! His DD is a sweetheart as well as a baller!
 
Sep 29, 2010
1,082
83
Knoxville, TN
Yeah Iā€™ve got to see Kenzieā€™s team play several times, well couldnā€™t really watch them cause Jdaddy talks so much! šŸ˜† Meeting and getting to hang out with him a little was always a treat! His DD is a sweetheart as well as a baller!
Always enjoyed seeing you at the ball field and seeing our girls play! Every time you would try to get away, I would say, ā€œRawlingsā€ and you just couldnā€™t leave! šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚
 
Nov 26, 2010
4,784
113
Michigan
So ultimately it sounds like the team which your DD plays on is up to you and not her. Got it.
Why is that wrong? Should the dd have an opinion? Of course but Dad and Mom have to foot the bill and balance an entire family around the activities the children participate in.

This idea that only the dd knows whatā€™s right for her is, at best, misguided.
 
Oct 3, 2019
364
43
[/QUOTE] all our girls will play their last game at some point. It sucks to even think about it.

Yes, but then you'll have your granddaughter if you're so blessed.
 
Jun 8, 2016
16,118
113
Of course but Dad and Mom have to foot the bill and balance an entire family around the activities the children participate in.
No way, really? No wonder I keep getting late notices on my bills, I thought my 1 YO was going to do it.... ;)
This idea that only the dd knows whatā€™s right for her is, at best, misguided.
I see a bunch of 19 YO kids in my classes that have had their parents micromanage their lives and it isn't pretty. If you read my whole post I said as long as cost isn't an issue and I guess I could have added other things that would directly effect other family members.

In some cases it is ok for parents to allow their children to makes mistakes...
 
Last edited:
Nov 18, 2013
2,255
113
This is the first time I've written anything about DD's first semester as a freshman softball player.........first off she made the Dean's list her first semester, which I'm extremely proud of her for doing!

Second, I've never seen her hate softball as much as she does now! She (we) knew it was going to be a grind, and she knew it was going to be harder than anything (team softball related) she's ever been through before! This is D2, and it's a full time job, this coach would have them on the field for 10 hours a day if she could somehow convince the AD to let her do it! She's heard football players and baseball players all say the softball coach is insane with her work schedule!

The seniors and juniors have all said (many times) that this coach has taken the fall semester to a crazy new over the top level they've never seen before. She said in the dining hall a couple of months back, all 6 freshmen were going to quit! She says all her love for the game of softball is pretty much gone!

Of course all this is depressing for me, being a part of her softball journey her entire life..........but at this point, it ain't about me! Me and my wife have told her if softball starts affecting her grades, or her mental health, she'll have to put softball behind her! I can only tell her to suck it up so many times?

Their conference ranking came out today, they're ranked #1 in the conference, 57 game schedule starts Feb. 1st, so it definitely isn't going to get any easier!

Bottom line, she's my daughter, she's a great ball player, and no matter what happens from here on college softball related, I'm damn proud of her for getting recruited and putting herself in this position!

I'll never forget having a team camp in 14U with Mickey Dean when he was at James Madison. He said being a student athlete is the hardest thing you'll ever do!! And at the end of the day you just want some food in your belly and to lay your head on a pillow!

She's working hard, she's lost 17 pounds this first semester (remember she's 5'0" tall), this is without a doubt the fittest she's ever been, and she's fell in love with weight training......so there's that!

I don't know why I decided to share this, I still want to kick her in the butt and tell her to suck it up (again) but more importantly I want her to be happy and to love her college experience!

I applaud you for sharing. As you talk to other College ball parents youā€™ll find most freshman and even some older went through the exact same thing. I canā€™t tell you how many times DD called home in tears after a softball practice and even a couple of games. All I can tell you is it does get better. Itā€™s just a huge adjustment from anything theyā€™ve ever done. Not just softball, but learning how to manage their new found independence and balance school with softball and what little rec time they have.

Hang in there and best of luck to your DD.
 
Jul 29, 2013
6,782
113
North Carolina
I applaud you for sharing. As you talk to other College ball parents youā€™ll find most freshman and even some older went through the exact same thing. I canā€™t tell you how many times DD called home in tears after a softball practice and even a couple of games. All I can tell you is it does get better. Itā€™s just a huge adjustment from anything theyā€™ve ever done. Not just softball, but learning how to manage their new found independence and balance school with softball and what little rec time they have.

Hang in there and best of luck to your DD.
Thank you! And youā€™re right, Iā€™ve talked to probably 10+ parents who have told me about the almost miserable freshman experience their DD had. One an absolute stud pitcher who had her choice of over 20 schools. Both her parents said she called crying practically every night begging them to come get her and take her home! I was pretty shocked, this girl always seemed so squared away to me!

All about handling the new transition!
 
Nov 26, 2010
4,784
113
Michigan
Thank you! And youā€™re right, Iā€™ve talked to probably 10+ parents who have told me about the almost miserable freshman experience their DD had. One an absolute stud pitcher who had her choice of over 20 schools. Both her parents said she called crying practically every night begging them to come get her and take her home! I was pretty shocked, this girl always seemed so squared away to me!

All about handling the new transition!
This post is not directed at anyone person. Itā€™s a response to annasdad but for what he related

Your DDs need to be responsible for more of their game.

Is your dd 11 and you are carrying her gear. Stop it she can carry her own. If itā€™s too heavy then Either stop buying more stuff or have her toss out the 36 half bottles of water in the bag

Is she 12 and your the only one caring for her equipment?
Stop, she can clean her shoes and make sure they are out of the bag to dry.

Is she 14 and has no idea of when her next practice is because you handle it
Stop it, she can manage her social calendar she can manage her sports one as well

Is she 14 and a parent has to watch her practice?
Stop it, go home, shopping, read a book in a park...

Is she in HS and do you solve all her issues at school?
Stop. Oversee but let her deal with them as possible.

Is she 16 and you drive her everywhere
If she has a license Stop it

Do you do all the laundry for her?
Stop and teach her how

There are a thousand other things we do, that we need to let the kid take responsibility for. No one at college is going to do these things for her. To drop her off at college and expect it to be easy for her when she has never been required to take care of herself and manage her own time. Plus the more rigorous schedule. You have set her up to fail.
 

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