General advice for softball parents of talented players

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Jul 29, 2013
6,782
113
North Carolina
This is the first time I've written anything about DD's first semester as a freshman softball player.........first off she made the Dean's list her first semester, which I'm extremely proud of her for doing!

Second, I've never seen her hate softball as much as she does now! She (we) knew it was going to be a grind, and she knew it was going to be harder than anything (team softball related) she's ever been through before! This is D2, and it's a full time job, this coach would have them on the field for 10 hours a day if she could somehow convince the AD to let her do it! She's heard football players and baseball players all say the softball coach is insane with her work schedule!

The seniors and juniors have all said (many times) that this coach has taken the fall semester to a crazy new over the top level they've never seen before. She said in the dining hall a couple of months back, all 6 freshmen were going to quit! She says all her love for the game of softball is pretty much gone!

Of course all this is depressing for me, being a part of her softball journey her entire life..........but at this point, it ain't about me! Me and my wife have told her if softball starts affecting her grades, or her mental health, she'll have to put softball behind her! I can only tell her to suck it up so many times?

Their conference ranking came out today, they're ranked #1 in the conference, 57 game schedule starts Feb. 1st, so it definitely isn't going to get any easier!

Bottom line, she's my daughter, she's a great ball player, and no matter what happens from here on college softball related, I'm damn proud of her for getting recruited and putting herself in this position!

I'll never forget having a team camp in 14U with Mickey Dean when he was at James Madison. He said being a student athlete is the hardest thing you'll ever do!! And at the end of the day you just want some food in your belly and to lay your head on a pillow!

She's working hard, she's lost 17 pounds this first semester (remember she's 5'0" tall), this is without a doubt the fittest she's ever been, and she's fell in love with weight training......so there's that!

I don't know why I decided to share this, I still want to kick her in the butt and tell her to suck it up (again) but more importantly I want her to be happy and to love her college experience!
 
May 7, 2015
842
93
SoCal
This is the first time I've written anything about DD's first semester as a freshman softball player.........first off she made the Dean's list her first semester, which I'm extremely proud of her for doing!

Second, I've never seen her hate softball as much as she does now! She (we) knew it was going to be a grind, and she knew it was going to be harder than anything (team softball related) she's ever been through before! This is D2, and it's a full time job, this coach would have them on the field for 10 hours a day if she could somehow convince the AD to let her do it! She's heard football players and baseball players all say the softball coach is insane with her work schedule!

The seniors and juniors have all said (many times) that this coach has taken the fall semester to a crazy new over the top level they've never seen before. She said in the dining hall a couple of months back, all 6 freshmen were going to quit! She says all her love for the game of softball is pretty much gone!

Of course all this is depressing for me, being a part of her softball journey her entire life..........but at this point, it ain't about me! Me and my wife have told her if softball starts affecting her grades, or her mental health, she'll have to put softball behind her! I can only tell her to suck it up so many times?

Their conference ranking came out today, they're ranked #1 in the conference, 57 game schedule starts Feb. 1st, so it definitely isn't going to get any easier!

Bottom line, she's my daughter, she's a great ball player, and no matter what happens from here on college softball related, I'm damn proud of her for getting recruited and putting herself in this position!

I'll never forget having a team camp in 14U with Mickey Dean when he was at James Madison. He said being a student athlete is the hardest thing you'll ever do!! And at the end of the day you just want some food in your belly and to lay your head on a pillow!

She's working hard, she's lost 17 pounds this first semester (remember she's 5'0" tall), this is without a doubt the fittest she's ever been, and she's fell in love with weight training......so there's that!

I don't know why I decided to share this, I still want to kick her in the butt and tell her to suck it up (again) but more importantly I want her to be happy and to love her college experience!

Thanks for the insight, NCAA softball is no joke. Best of luck to your DD, no matter her decision.
 
Apr 20, 2017
152
28
Been reading this thread but decided I would give my 2 cents on some things. One thing I believe is that each girl has to make this softball journey their own. And no situation is exactly the same for different girls/families. This season my daughter is 2nd year 12u and we joined our first premiere team. A couple of years ago I would have never thought about going all the way across the country to play softball in California but here we are already making plans. She is a pitcher and was taken as mostly a pitcher only. She rarely sees a position or bats. But gets plenty of time in the circle. Some may say it would be better for her to play down and play first and bat when not pitching. But if she played down then she would not be facing the type of batters that she needs to face to get better as a pitcher. She would love to play every inning of every game but she understands that is part of the trade off. She takes the practice and skills from travel ball at first and batting then dominates in school ball. She does not play 50% of innings in a weekend but pitches a bunch of big innings during tournaments. So it depends on what a player wants or needs for their development to help them reach their goals. For my DD her goal is SEC pitcher. Now who knows if she will make it to that level at this age or not. She does have the size and the measurables that it could be a possibility. So to me it is worth all the extra travel and work to know as her dad I did everything I could to help her reach her goal. If she lands somewhere lower or even decided to give it all up we would still have a bunch of great memories.
 
Sep 29, 2010
1,082
83
Knoxville, TN
This is the first time I've written anything about DD's first semester as a freshman softball player.........first off she made the Dean's list her first semester, which I'm extremely proud of her for doing!

Second, I've never seen her hate softball as much as she does now! She (we) knew it was going to be a grind, and she knew it was going to be harder than anything (team softball related) she's ever been through before! This is D2, and it's a full time job, this coach would have them on the field for 10 hours a day if she could somehow convince the AD to let her do it! She's heard football players and baseball players all say the softball coach is insane with her work schedule!

The seniors and juniors have all said (many times) that this coach has taken the fall semester to a crazy new over the top level they've never seen before. She said in the dining hall a couple of months back, all 6 freshmen were going to quit! She says all her love for the game of softball is pretty much gone!

Of course all this is depressing for me, being a part of her softball journey her entire life..........but at this point, it ain't about me! Me and my wife have told her if softball starts affecting her grades, or her mental health, she'll have to put softball behind her! I can only tell her to suck it up so many times?

Their conference ranking came out today, they're ranked #1 in the conference, 57 game schedule starts Feb. 1st, so it definitely isn't going to get any easier!

Bottom line, she's my daughter, she's a great ball player, and no matter what happens from here on college softball related, I'm damn proud of her for getting recruited and putting herself in this position!

I'll never forget having a team camp in 14U with Mickey Dean when he was at James Madison. He said being a student athlete is the hardest thing you'll ever do!! And at the end of the day you just want some food in your belly and to lay your head on a pillow!

She's working hard, she's lost 17 pounds this first semester (remember she's 5'0" tall), this is without a doubt the fittest she's ever been, and she's fell in love with weight training......so there's that!

I don't know why I decided to share this, I still want to kick her in the butt and tell her to suck it up (again) but more importantly I want her to be happy and to love her college experience!
I hate to hear it Johnny, but you are right about mental health and grades coming first. Unfortunately, all our girls will play their last game at some point. It sucks to even think about it.

Kenzie’s D3 has had two freshman quit and another removed from team. One sophomore left probably due to playing time and a junior left also. It is tough! Soooo, if you think Anna would like a small D3 just south of Knoxville, I’m sure coach would take a look at her!😉

Wishing you both the best!
 
Feb 17, 2014
7,152
113
Orlando, FL
Been reading this thread but decided I would give my 2 cents on some things. One thing I believe is that each girl has to make this softball journey their own. And no situation is exactly the same for different girls/families. This season my daughter is 2nd year 12u and we joined our first premiere team. A couple of years ago I would have never thought about going all the way across the country to play softball in California but here we are already making plans. She is a pitcher and was taken as mostly a pitcher only. She rarely sees a position or bats. But gets plenty of time in the circle. Some may say it would be better for her to play down and play first and bat when not pitching. But if she played down then she would not be facing the type of batters that she needs to face to get better as a pitcher. She would love to play every inning of every game but she understands that is part of the trade off. She takes the practice and skills from travel ball at first and batting then dominates in school ball. She does not play 50% of innings in a weekend but pitches a bunch of big innings during tournaments. So it depends on what a player wants or needs for their development to help them reach their goals. For my DD her goal is SEC pitcher. Now who knows if she will make it to that level at this age or not. She does have the size and the measurables that it could be a possibility. So to me it is worth all the extra travel and work to know as her dad I did everything I could to help her reach her goal. If she lands somewhere lower or even decided to give it all up we would still have a bunch of great memories.
As a dad of a former SEC pitcher I will tell you that beyond the requisite skills there is a whole bunch of luck that is involved. Of course you need the skills, but you also have to be in the right place at the right time. There are many very good pitchers throughout college ball at various levels that could very well compete in the SEC. But there are only so many spots. Hopefully she gets a shot, as it is a very special experience for your DD and your family. For us some of the best memories of her college career were off the field as we chased her around the SEC and other locations.
 
Apr 20, 2018
4,581
113
SoCal
This is the first time I've written anything about DD's first semester as a freshman softball player.........first off she made the Dean's list her first semester, which I'm extremely proud of her for doing!

Second, I've never seen her hate softball as much as she does now! She (we) knew it was going to be a grind, and she knew it was going to be harder than anything (team softball related) she's ever been through before! This is D2, and it's a full time job, this coach would have them on the field for 10 hours a day if she could somehow convince the AD to let her do it! She's heard football players and baseball players all say the softball coach is insane with her work schedule!

The seniors and juniors have all said (many times) that this coach has taken the fall semester to a crazy new over the top level they've never seen before. She said in the dining hall a couple of months back, all 6 freshmen were going to quit! She says all her love for the game of softball is pretty much gone!

Of course all this is depressing for me, being a part of her softball journey her entire life..........but at this point, it ain't about me! Me and my wife have told her if softball starts affecting her grades, or her mental health, she'll have to put softball behind her! I can only tell her to suck it up so many times?

Their conference ranking came out today, they're ranked #1 in the conference, 57 game schedule starts Feb. 1st, so it definitely isn't going to get any easier!

Bottom line, she's my daughter, she's a great ball player, and no matter what happens from here on college softball related, I'm damn proud of her for getting recruited and putting herself in this position!

I'll never forget having a team camp in 14U with Mickey Dean when he was at James Madison. He said being a student athlete is the hardest thing you'll ever do!! And at the end of the day you just want some food in your belly and to lay your head on a pillow!

She's working hard, she's lost 17 pounds this first semester (remember she's 5'0" tall), this is without a doubt the fittest she's ever been, and she's fell in love with weight training......so there's that!

I don't know why I decided to share this, I still want to kick her in the butt and tell her to suck it up (again) but more importantly I want her to be happy and to love her college experience!

Maybe once the season starts things get a little better. After all you can not practice , run or workout in a bus or plane. Sometimes I think women coaches think they have to be super tough not to be labeled as soft.
 
Apr 16, 2010
924
43
Alabama
1. On the other hand, your child is almost guaranteed a scholarship to a great school.
Maybe but a lot of those scholarships are about $500 a year and org gets to say we sent five to SEC schools even though they will never see the field ands transfer to midmajors.
 
Apr 20, 2018
4,581
113
SoCal
Been reading this thread but decided I would give my 2 cents on some things. One thing I believe is that each girl has to make this softball journey their own. And no situation is exactly the same for different girls/families. This season my daughter is 2nd year 12u and we joined our first premiere team. A couple of years ago I would have never thought about going all the way across the country to play softball in California but here we are already making plans. She is a pitcher and was taken as mostly a pitcher only. She rarely sees a position or bats. But gets plenty of time in the circle. Some may say it would be better for her to play down and play first and bat when not pitching. But if she played down then she would not be facing the type of batters that she needs to face to get better as a pitcher. She would love to play every inning of every game but she understands that is part of the trade off. She takes the practice and skills from travel ball at first and batting then dominates in school ball. She does not play 50% of innings in a weekend but pitches a bunch of big innings during tournaments. So it depends on what a player wants or needs for their development to help them reach their goals. For my DD her goal is SEC pitcher. Now who knows if she will make it to that level at this age or not. She does have the size and the measurables that it could be a possibility. So to me it is worth all the extra travel and work to know as her dad I did everything I could to help her reach her goal. If she lands somewhere lower or even decided to give it all up we would still have a bunch of great memories.

I think 12u is too early to pigeonhole a player into the pitcher only, especially if she is an athlete. If she is one of the 9 best hitters on the team she should be in the line up. A friend of mine's DD pitched D1. Her dad advised her to always shag fly balls during bp. She was the number 2 pitcher. In her junior year the school had recruited some stud pitchers. The writing was on the wall. So she went to the coach and told him she wanted to compete for an outfield position. She was starting LF in her Jr. and Sr. years.
 
Apr 20, 2017
152
28
I think 12u is too early to pigeonhole a player into the pitcher only, especially if she is an athlete. If she is one of the 9 best hitters on the team she should be in the line up. A friend of mine's DD pitched D1. Her dad advised her to always shag fly balls during bp. She was the number 2 pitcher. In her junior year the school had recruited some stud pitchers. The writing was on the wall. So she went to the coach and told him she wanted to compete for an outfield position. She was starting LF in her Jr. and Sr. years.

I completely agree with you but for us outfield is not really an option. She is 5’10 and not athletic enough for that. She is a power hitter that is either feast or famine at the plate. It’s either a base hit or strikeout. We work every week on hitting and on defense. Her only other legit position is 1st. It has always blown me away at her size and strength to be able to pitch the way she does since it normally takes bigger girls longer to develop fine motor skills. But great advice for anyone reading to always work on other skills besides just one.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
I completely agree with you but for us outfield is not really an option. She is 5’10 and not athletic enough for that. She is a power hitter that is either feast or famine at the plate. It’s either a base hit or strikeout. We work every week on hitting and on defense. Her only other legit position is 1st. It has always blown me away at her size and strength to be able to pitch the way she does since it normally takes bigger girls longer to develop fine motor skills. But great advice for anyone reading to always work on other skills besides just one.
DD's 5'10" College teammate WAS a pitcher coming into her freshman year. Torn ACL, rehab and ready to go sophomore year. During a Bull pen session she tore it AGAIN!!! Junior year-She is no longer a pitcher. She is working on becoming an outfielder.

Always be working on another position.
 

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