General advice for softball parents of talented players

Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

Dec 11, 2010
4,713
113
Marriard and Sluggers, great posts.

Pattar, depressing indeed. I do think it will get better. I'm an optimist trapped in the body of a sarcastic old geezer that is doing his best to seem sunshiney, lol

Marriard, I was afraid someone would ask me to solve the problem. That will have to wait until tonight or tomorrow morning but I will take a shot at it, lol. (I do think the "new" recruiting rules will help and strange as it sounds, in my opinion the transfer rules might help too.)
 
Jun 23, 2018
222
63
Texas
My DD is only 11yo (1st yr 12U), but I worry about being burned now and especially once she get 7 years down this journey. I have made it a point from the 1st tryout for a travel team at 10U to tell her that this is her journey and not mine, her mothers, coaches, or anyone else's. Softball is something you do and not who you are.

At the end of every season, I sit her down and ask, "do you want to play this next season? It is your choice no matter what. If you say no, I will support you 100%." In reality I would be disappointed, but I would do my best not to let that show.

I feel like this is where we need to empower our DD's as a community. I see so many kids that play the game because they think they have to or that is who they are.

I will do everything in my power to make sure my DD never feels trapped and or obligated to play. Maybe by letting her know that she is in control, it will allow her to make better decisions if these situations come up and the potential for playing college ball is there. It's just a hope I have.
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
Marriard and Sluggers, great posts.

Pattar, depressing indeed. I do think it will get better. I'm an optimist trapped in the body of a sarcastic old geezer that is doing his best to seem sunshiney, lol

Marriard, I was afraid someone would ask me to solve the problem. That will have to wait until tonight or tomorrow morning but I will take a shot at it, lol. (I do think the "new" recruiting rules will help and strange as it sounds, in my opinion, the transfer rules might help too.)

There is a really easy solution which is to stop tying education to elite sports and go to a club sports system like every other country in the world, but with the money involved in football/basketball and even some of the other sports such as softball , volleyball, etc - as well as the huge amount of money floating around recruiting, that simply isn't going to happen.

In Australia many universities have teams in various sports - they just enter them in the local leagues. The university is just another club you can play for - or not play for as the case may be. It doesn't matter how bad you are at school if you are great at a sport you get to play it rather than having to fake go to class. One of the best basketballers I ever played with in Australia was way dumber than a rock - he was a bricklayer before and after his basketball career. I knew several college basketball athletes I played against were functionally illiterate.
 
Jun 8, 2016
16,118
113
So, I ask my DD about graduation. Surprise! No one had talked to her about fulfilling the requirements for her college major. She was missing several mandatory classes. She had no plan whatsoever. The school counselors, from what I could tell, never even met with my DD.
If your DD's school didn't require that they see a counselor before they registered for classes every semester I can pretty much guarantee that a LOT of kids ended up in the same boat as your DD, athletes and non-athletes.
 
Nov 18, 2013
2,255
113
There is a lot of truth to that statement. The more I learn about D1 softball the more I would prefer that my daughter went and played NAIA softball.

D1 isn’t all that bad. The academic resources, facilities and perks available to these athletes are amazing. It takes a strong work ethic, time management and a level of maturity to make it. The kid also has to love the school and be able to put up with teammates who aren’t on the same page and playing for new coaches on the staff every year.

Other levels can be great too. Kids just have to determine what’s best for is for them.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
I’m with Sluggers on this one.

The parents and players who are starry eyed about what it means to be a college softball player in 2020 are in for a very rude awakening.

My older dd lived and breathed softball. She thought when she got onto campus at a mid-major, she would FINALLY be among other like minded players. Not so much. Most felt they had already reached their goals. Most had already played too much softball, were beat down and were ready for it to be over.

When I look back at how I soaked up all this talk about how coaches recruit only the players with the highest moral fiber, how they only want the true team players and how hard work and performance will be the only thing that matters, I can and do poke fun at my own naivety.

I really think recruiting is a broken process in some regards. I think that college coaches have created unintended consequences by recruiting almost exclusively from a pool of players that have been forced to dance with the devil of non-stop travel, non-stop tournaments and a constant barrage of on-line foolishness and self promotion. By the time these players hit the meat grinder of college softball, it ISN'T that they are "prepared" for the travel, (it's brutal), it ISN'T that they are ready for the long workouts and the even longer practices. It's more like they are exhausted from the journey that got them there. Some don't even make it there because of the injury to the body from playing so much. I think it has not occurred to most that the long road has not ended, it is starting again. I don't think players and parents and coaches don't understand that they are recruiting players whose bodies are already have too much wear and tear on them, due to the process that allows them to be recruited. I think players and parents don't have a realistic view of what their place is on a team of 20 year olds that may or may not be very sympathetic to this poor little superstar being away from home for the first time without her personal assistants (I mean parents, sorry.)

I know this post drips with sarcasm. It is meant to jolt the reader. It isn't based only on my families experiences. I find that our experience is pretty similar to almost every college softball player I know.

College softball is an awesome institution. I love it. I love watching it. I am trying to decide whether I will travel from the MIdwest to the Southwest in a month to watch a full weekend of softball and hang out with my friends that have kids playing. I'm not trying to discourage ANYONE from taking their shot. But I DO hope that the player and parent know what they are getting into.
BINGO!
 
May 16, 2016
1,024
113
Illinois
Is that true for most, some or all of the dozens of Bandits teams across the country? Is that part of the deal when you write the check to join their organization?

You don't know much about the Beverly Bandits, do you? Serious question, without looking it up on the internet how many teams do you think the Beverly Bandits have?
 
Apr 20, 2015
961
93
You don't know much about the Beverly Bandits, do you? Serious question, without looking it up on the internet how many teams do you think the Beverly Bandits have?
Beverly bandits is a very small high quality midwest organization unlike others like batbusters, firecrackers and athletics etc bill does NOT franchise his name and every team he puts on the field is a quality product. Bandits has a premier side based out of Chicago and a demarini side based elsewhere but mostly ohio each side has 1 team for each birth year starting at 2nd yr 10s. Teams out west have multiple groups per age group with 20 to 30 kids on the roster. We went to pgfs with 11 kids due to an injury and played teams with over 20 kids in the dugout and that was 12u! Only the Beverly bandits are bills... none of the other bandits teams are affiliated and all information is available on the website. Birmingham Thunderbolts are similar and do not franchise but do have bigger rosters than Bandits. Also an excellent organization. Nothing wrong with the way the west coast does it just hard to do in the midwest where we deal with much more weather and shortened events.

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
 
Dec 11, 2010
4,713
113
D1 isn’t all that bad. The academic resources, facilities and perks available to these athletes are amazing. It takes a strong work ethic, time management and a level of maturity to make it. The kid also has to love the school and be able to put up with teammates who aren’t on the same page and playing for new coaches on the staff every year.

Other levels can be great too. Kids just have to determine what’s best for is for them.

This is absolutely true. There are a ton of benefits to being on an athletic team that I know both me, DW and more importantly dd are thankful for.

Other than the injury dd suffered she wouldn’t trade it for anything. It was a heck of an opportunity.
 

Forum statistics

Threads
42,830
Messages
679,478
Members
21,445
Latest member
Bmac81802
Top