First week of college practice

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Jun 22, 2019
255
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My twin girls just started at their college and are completely overwhelmed with the workouts, practices, study hall and team meetings.

They feel like they don’t have any free time and are physically exhausted. They’ve seen three girls on the team quit or get asked to quit in the first week.

As a parent I really don’t know what to tell them other than to just keep working and persevere.

I suspect they are just a little overwhelmed with the new schedule, new people and new place, but was wondering if any of you had a similar experience with your daughters and if there was any advise/wisdom I could pass along?
 
Mar 8, 2016
296
63
Yes it is quite a change. In some ways it is as rough on the parents. Send encouraging texts every day and listen when they call. You are in for a roller coaster ride of emotions for you dds and frustrations for what you can't fix as a parent. College is a huge adjustment without sports for many kids. Add in sports and it is magnified greatly. My suggestion is that you try to make sure they hang in for the first month till the adjustment period is over. After that you have to try and help them evaluate if they want continue playing a sport. DDs entering class was 14. One never made it to campus. One went home after a week. Two wound up on academic probation. Only seven were left at the end of freshman year. Finding a support group amongst the other freshman and or some upperclassmen can be a huge help. By the end of freshman year dd had made very close friends with a number of teammates. While she had many friends outside of softball it helped that she could do social activities with girls on her same schedule.
DDs first round of test scores were not good. She figured things out and pulled them all up by the end of the semester.
DD taught me a term NARP, Non Athlete Regular Person. As in we saw all the NARPs going to the beach today while we were on the way to practice.

Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk
 

GIMNEPIWO

GIMNEPIWO
Dec 9, 2017
115
43
VA
Same same sort of ... One DD had it worse than the other though in that her coach was mentally abusive along with all the other Freshman challenges. Even so, she said often that softball was the only thing keeping her sane ... What helped her most was a class that she had taken the first semester that dealt with 'how to study' ... The single most important class she ever took ... I'm not sure what it was called, but seem to remember it was mandatory for Freshman at that college ... The DD that had less trouble was a walk-on who wasn't even sure she wanted to keep playing at that point ... That quickly changed and she had a great coach who helped her along the way with nearly everything ... School work was intense and the ball field was the only place that she didn't feel like a duck out of water.

I agree with Softball Dad 6 that both DD's social circle revolved around softball team mates / girls on the same schedule ... Halfway through the first year one was able to move out of a regular dorm and into a "softball house" which also helped.
 
Jul 16, 2013
4,634
113
Pennsylvania
Time management becomes extremely important, especially freshman year. They will be facing challenges they have never faced before. DD had older friends that played college ball and warned her about it. But even with those warnings, she felt overwhelmed when she first arrived. As did we since all we could do was text or call her to provide support. Luckily the other freshmen felt the same way and they became a close knit group. They helped each other through that first year. By the time that first season was over, they all seemed much more prepared for their sophomore year.

Fast forward... DD is currently a 1st year grad student and is excellent at managing her time. Older students in the DPT program warned her about the need for strong time management skills, but she feels her experience with college softball prepared her for that.

I'm married to a twin, and the bond they share is undeniable. Hopefully that bond will help your daughters through this as well. They can lean on each other and help each other through it. Hopefully they are able to make other friends on the team and can all work together. Sometimes friends can offer better support than anyone else.
 
Apr 20, 2018
3,834
113
SoCal
The high percentage of player that quit really bothers me. The stories of abusive over demanding coaches piss me off. This is not the marines. It's not life or death. It's softball. It's a game. Games are suppose to be fun.
If and when my DD gets the opportunity to play college ball she will be choosing school that offer a good education and non abusive coaching staff with a high retention rate. Maybe a coach that has read a book recently. Looking for a John Wooden or Tony Dungi, type. These loud abusive, demented old school coaches should be embarrassed by their retention rate but probably wear as a badge of honor. I hope the portal helps root out some of these Neanderthals. Go buy a dog you can beat.
 
Dec 11, 2010
4,478
113
My twin girls just started at their college and are completely overwhelmed with the workouts, practices, study hall and team meetings.

They feel like they don’t have any free time and are physically exhausted. They’ve seen three girls on the team quit or get asked to quit in the first week.

As a parent I really don’t know what to tell them other than to just keep working and persevere.

I suspect they are just a little overwhelmed with the new schedule, new people and new place, but was wondering if any of you had a similar experience with your daughters and if there was any advise/wisdom I could pass along?
Here is what you tell them. And don’t sugar coat it.

This situation is normal.

It will get better.

They need to eat.

They need to schedule. Not in their head. They need to write it down on paper or on their phone etc. They need to be able to make adjustments on the fly. They need to NEVER miss an opportunity to do school work when it arises. There will be cancellations. That isn’t free time. It’s an opportunity to get something done. Until they get the hang of their new reality, they need to be strict about this. It will get better.

Here is the big one: they need to get their sleep. At the end of the day, they absolutely CANNOT lay in bed and look at their phones. They can’t have wasted down time. Sleep. Earlier than they ever have before. Non-negotiable. Has to happen.

Its not the college life they expected. No one will tell you about it ahead of time. The expectations of what a college softball player is are what make it such a shock. The teams make it look so fun and carefree on social media. The truth is that it’s very hard work.

Time management is the adapt or die deal.
 
Last edited:
Dec 11, 2010
4,478
113
As a parent I really don’t know what to tell them other than to just keep working and persevere.
“Work harder” is a meme not a plan.

I know that is harsh. Telling them to “keep grinding” is not what they need.

Help them with their plan and give them encouragement to stay with the plan for the next few weeks. Hopefully a few weeks turns into a few more weeks. They will figure out that they can do this.

Good luck.
 

radness

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
7,272
113
👍@Westwind

Definitely can be a learning curve to time management with all that can go on in college with a sport is simply mega more.

Suggestion have them take a look at what they are doing with their time.

Example~ If throughout the day someone sits on their phone for 15 minutes accumulatively that can take up a lot of time.

There can be a lot of distractions throughout the day that can eat up the clock.
Stop dawdling helps. 🙂
 
Jun 11, 2012
704
63
DD is a 1st year grad student who is playing a 5th year.
She was able to schedule her classes do she only has them 3 days a week and adjusted her work schedule so that she doesn’t have work or softball on Sundays.
Her roommates are both undergrad and have classes all day and since she’s an early riser she’s planning to go to the gym and then study/write papers while she’s the only one in the apartment.
It’s a big adjustment and one of the keys is organization. Take advantage of the team study halls to get work done and solicit help from upperclassmen who may have already taken the classes.
This is actually the first year that C is living with teammates. She’s loved being able to go home and step away from the team and any drama that might be going on.
 

sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
7,005
113
Dallas, Texas
The high percentage of player that quit really bothers me. The stories of abusive over demanding coaches piss me off. This is not the marines. It's not life or death. It's softball. It's a game. Games are suppose to be fun.
If your kids feel that way, they shouldn't play in college. My kids loved playing college sports, and both did very well in sports. However, they have never referred to their experiences as "fun".

The schedule is 6AM weight lifting, classes until 2PM, and then softball practice from 3PM until who knows when--and that is day after day, week after week for 5 months. It is emotionally and physically draining. Not everyone can or should do it.

Kids who do well in college want to play the game at the highest level they can play. It is competition every day against themselves, the other players on the team and, occasionally, against another team.
 
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