...feeling burnt out?? Would like dad help on this one.

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Jan 10, 2020
10
3
I have been playing VERY COMPETITIVE softball since I was around 8. Now I am a teenager and I am kind of feeling burnt out of the sport. My parents have spent thousands of dollars traveling to long distance tournaments and getting lessons, etc., and if I quit now, I'd feel really guilty. Also, my dad and I don't spend much time together other than softball. I'm worried about our relationship, if he might get mad, or if it might just go off the rails or something. My dad is also just as obsessed with softball as I was before I started feeling this way. He has literally never missed one of my games. Ever. He has cancelled plans, meetings, etc. I just want some wisdom, or advice from some softball dads I guess. How would you feel in this situation?? Or like just opinions on getting burnt out? Maybe its just quarantine, but I really am losing the passion I once had for this sport. Let me know please <3
 
Last edited:
Jul 4, 2013
126
43
This is the easiest question ever on this forum. Above all, I want my daughter to follow her heart and live a life that make her happy. If that's softball, great. If it isn't, then it isn't. She has my support no matter what she chooses. I haven't spent a dime that I regret if she quit right now, and the fun we've had playing softball can't ever be taken away.

I'd bet your dad will feel the same. It's a dad rule.
 
May 31, 2018
17
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I wish more players would post on this forum so we can get a players perspective. Thank you! The burn out is definitely felt more now than ever with COVID, my kiddo has been able to experience sleeping in on weekends, catching up on movies, etc. But rest assured there is not a moment as a Dad that is a regret nor would be a regret if she quits. Sure, there would be initial surprise, but not disappointment. I would actually be proud of her for talking to me and knowing we have that type of relationship; she is not afraid to talk to me about stopping. The money, gear, travel, and time spent is so we can still spend time with our kids during some very impressionable times as a teenager and still be close to you guys without bugging you.. lol. Just don't go telling all our secrets. You two might find out you have more things to talk about than softball! I wish you luck and keep posting on topics to help us Dads out.
 
Jan 27, 2010
1,871
83
NJ
Do you play HS ball? Perhaps if you back off the serious club ball you might feel differently yet you and Dad can still enjoy the game. I know I would sense DD getting burnt out by the end of travel season. We would stop and not pick up bats of gloves for a month. We'd ease back in by having a catch and then work in hitting but nothing serious. FWIW, she didn't play her first year in college but missed it and went back. This year, her Senior year, she is Captain of her team. Sometimes you need a break. If you need one you never know how much of one you need. Good Luck.
 
Jan 10, 2020
10
3
Do you play HS ball? Perhaps if you back off the serious club ball you might feel differently yet you and Dad can still enjoy the game. I know I would sense DD getting burnt out by the end of travel season. We would stop and not pick up bats of gloves for a month. We'd ease back in by having a catch and then work in hitting but nothing serious. FWIW, she didn't play her first year in college but missed it and went back. This year, her Senior year, she is Captain of her team. Sometimes you need a break. If you need one you never know how much of one you need. Good Luck.
Thanks for the message and encouragement. My whole high school program is very corrupt, the girls are mean, its political, and overall just always and awful experience. I only do it so I can practice for serious travel ball, and the thing was, this past high school season, I hinted several times to my dad how I really didn't want to play HS ball. Its pretty miserable, but he persisted in me playing and said I had to in order to stay in shape. We didn't end up playing anyway, which was cool, but yeah. Again thank you for the response.
 
Aug 25, 2019
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113
MY DD been playing since she was 10, (16U now), she's still playing, but I seen that she doesn't play with the same passion she had before. I've told her time and again if she wants to quit, please do, don't play for me, play for herself. To be honest, after 6 years of spending and travelling, I'd be relieved is she quit, I'm getting tired of it. As insidePitch said, I'll be happy for my daughter to play 2 more years in HS, then hang it up.

What age are you now? Has your father discussed you playing in college? I was like your father when my DD hit her prime in 12u/14u, never missed a game, always on her to practice. I've since settled way down and just go for the enjoyment of watching her play, and if she ends it tomorrow, I'd have no problem at all with it, I'd just be happy we took that ride together.
 
Jun 8, 2016
16,118
113
Talk to him about this or if that feels like it may be impossible at the moment, write him a heartfelt letter (handwritten) to let him know how you are feeling. My guess is that while he might be disappointed right now, which is understandable since he probably very much enjoys watching you play, he just wants you to be happy.
 
May 3, 2018
75
18
I've become completely enamored with the game of softball, but I can honestly say that if my daughter came to me and said she wanted to quit softball to pursue opera, art, soccer, jazz, basketball, whatever, I would become completely enamored with opera, art, soccer, jazz, basketball, whatever. It's always about supporting my kids, never about me. While there's no guarantee your dad feels the same, I believe most dads fall into this category. Most importantly, you need to be honest with him for the good of your relationship.
 
Feb 10, 2018
496
93
NoVA
My DD recently turned 14 and has been playing since she was 8 or 9. We are not playing high-level travel ball, as it seems you are, but we do have the added commitment of pitching. Softball is something we both love and we, like you and your dad, have bonded over the game and all the time we’ve spent together doing it. If she told me tomorrow that she was burnt out or just wasn’t interested in playing anymore, it would sting a bit, but I ultimately love my DD more than softball and it is her life to live, not mine. I would just want to make sure she was clear in her thinking and not perhaps making a rash decision. Seems like you’ve been thinking about this for some time.

As others have suggested, perhaps it is not a binary decision: Keep playing at the level you are at or don’t play at all. Perhaps this time off (due to COVID-19) combined with playing for a less competitive local travel team would be enough to make it more enjoyable again? Maybe you’ve already thought through that. Doesn’t sound like your HS softball team is a great situation, but there is an argument out there that if you aren’t interested in playing in college (at any level), then there is really no reason to play travel ball once you are playing in HS.

But there is a good lesson here for us dads or softball parents generally. The more we can do to keep the game fun and to lower the temperature the more likely we are to keep girls in the game and reaping the benefits of playing organized team sports.
 
Sep 17, 2009
1,637
83
Good on you for being so thoughtful and empathetic. It's your life though and even at your young age every day or year that goes by is one you can't get back. Put your energy, love and time where you'd like. I'm certain your dad (and mom and the rest of your family) will be happy to come along , especially if you go out of your way to make sure to include them :)

(I will say though that especially for girls and especially for softball there tends to be a complete stop at some point -- end of high school/travel or end of college careers. There's not much in the way of 'pickup' softball so make sure you're ready to move away before you do it. Cause it can be hard to get it back. Good luck!)
 

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