fear of failure

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I have a first year pitcher at 14u who is an athletic, coaches dream. She is already averaging 55mph, and will practice her tail off everyday if we'd let her. But on game day when we need her to pitch, she clamps up and her fear of failing is overwhelming. She'll get a horrible attitude and basically refuse to pitch. We only had two pitchers because one is out with an injury while my other starter has good movement but is lacking speed (low 40's, decent teams eat her pitching alive). I really needed her to throw but she wouldn't. So I benched her for three innings even though she's probably my best overall player. Right, wrong, or indifferent.... thoughts?

I would have your team read a couple different books. For starters:

10 Minute Toughness
Heads up Baseball
Play Big

Our coach made our girls read a chapter a week and send him a report on their take aways from each chapter. They are in the middle of Heads up Baseball and my DD approach to the game has changed 100%. All the girls look so much stronger now it's crazy! You can get the books used on Amazon for next to nothing.

If you dont want your team to read then definetly tell the kid about the books, it will change her life!
 
Jul 28, 2008
1,088
0
I would have your team read a couple different books. For starters:

10 Minute Toughness
Heads up Baseball
Play Big

Our coach made our girls read a chapter a week and send him a report on their take aways from each chapter. They are in the middle of Heads up Baseball and my DD approach to the game has changed 100%. All the girls look so much stronger now it's crazy! You can get the books used on Amazon for next to nothing.

If you dont want your team to read then definetly tell the kid about the books, it will change her life!

Head's up Baseball is definitely a must-read. So is Toilets, Bricks, Fish Hooks and PRIDE. I will add the other two on your list to my reading list.

Thanks!
 
Head's up Baseball is definitely a must-read. So is Toilets, Bricks, Fish Hooks and PRIDE. I will add the other two on your list to my reading list.

Thanks!

I am currently reading the Toilets, Bricks, Fish Hooks and Pride book. It will be the one to follow after the Play Big.

When I say the girls approach to the game has changed tremendously, I cant stress that enough.....
 
Dec 5, 2012
4,143
63
Mid West
She has progressively pitched more and more throughout our season. With the injury to my dd who is our best pitcher, she was given the opportunity to see a lot more mound time. In a pool play game with no real worries, she's lights out. No one would ever guess she's so new! But for the last two tourneys in a row, we have played for the championship and both times, she clamps up and says repeatedly "I don't want to be the reason we loose"... the point she's missing is that her refusal to pitch in the big game means we are against another good team that will typically have no problem hitting the only other pitcher I have. There is no way to defend line drives to the fence every other at bat... both times in the last two championship games, that was exactly what happens! We pretty much dominate pool and bracket games and then get run ruled in the last game. She is constantly needing affirmation, needs a pep talk every single batter, and GOD help us if the blue has a tight zone because she's going to grunt and gasp with eye brows in the clouds and mouth hanging open, while looking in the dugout for me to tell her the blue was wrong! I'm over it! I'm tired of the same talks constantly and her disrespect for the umpire and the game in general has me ready to cut her dispute the fact she's got the athletic ability to play at the highest of levels! But her faults will prevent her from ever finding any real success.
 
Dec 5, 2012
4,143
63
Mid West
She has progressively pitched more and more throughout our season. With the injury to my dd who is our best pitcher, she was given the opportunity to see a lot more mound time. In a pool play game with no real worries, she's lights out. No one would ever guess she's so new! But for the last two tourneys in a row, we have played for the championship and both times, she clamps up and says repeatedly "I don't want to be the reason we loose"... the point she's missing is that her refusal to pitch in the big game means we are against another good team that will typically have no problem hitting the only other pitcher I have. There is no way to defend line drives to the fence every other at bat... both times in the last two championship games, that was exactly what happens! We pretty much dominate pool and bracket games and then get run ruled in the last game. She is constantly needing affirmation, needs a pep talk every single batter, and GOD help us if the blue has a tight zone because she's going to grunt and gasp with eye brows in the clouds and mouth hanging open, while looking in the dugout for me to tell her the blue was wrong! I'm over it! I'm tired of the same talks constantly and her disrespect for the umpire and the game in general has me ready to cut her dispute the fact she's got the athletic ability to play at the highest of levels! But her faults will prevent her from ever finding any real success.
 
Jun 27, 2011
5,089
0
North Carolina
I'm over it! I'm tired of the same talks constantly and her disrespect for the umpire and the game in general has me ready to cut her dispute the fact she's got the athletic ability to play at the highest of levels! But her faults will prevent her from ever finding any real success.

Easy for me to say when I'm not dealing with what is obviously a great challenge, but ...

As coaches, we teach our pitchers not to get frustrated, and we teach all players never to give up. What you're expressing is frustration and surrender. We've all been there. Not judging. But what do you tell your players when they are frustrated and ready to give up? Maybe tell yourself the same.

If it were me, I would not focus on how this player is costing me games that I could've won. That's not important. My main job is not to win, but to develop players and teach them something. So I would focus on the fact that I am a coach who likes challenges, and who is in this to make a difference in their lives, and I have a player who could be great if I can just figure out how to get it out of her. If I see it as MY challenge, then I won't get frustrated at HER so much.
 
Dec 7, 2011
2,368
38
She has progressively pitched more and more throughout our season. With the injury to my dd who is our best pitcher, she was given the opportunity to see a lot more mound time. In a pool play game with no real worries, she's lights out. No one would ever guess she's so new! But for the last two tourneys in a row, we have played for the championship and both times, she clamps up and says repeatedly "I don't want to be the reason we loose"... the point she's missing is that her refusal to pitch in the big game means we are against another good team that will typically have no problem hitting the only other pitcher I have. There is no way to defend line drives to the fence every other at bat... both times in the last two championship games, that was exactly what happens! We pretty much dominate pool and bracket games and then get run ruled in the last game. She is constantly needing affirmation, needs a pep talk every single batter, and GOD help us if the blue has a tight zone because she's going to grunt and gasp with eye brows in the clouds and mouth hanging open, while looking in the dugout for me to tell her the blue was wrong! I'm over it! I'm tired of the same talks constantly and her disrespect for the umpire and the game in general has me ready to cut her dispute the fact she's got the athletic ability to play at the highest of levels! But her faults will prevent her from ever finding any real success.

This is the other part of the story that was missing which makes me change my tune.

This sounds more like a "way too high maintenance" player and go focus on another budding pitcher. (or find one)

The first vision in my head on first read was shy little Sally just needing a little support - not bratty little princess with an attitude problem.
 
Dec 5, 2012
4,143
63
Mid West
bratty little princess with an attitude problem.

EXACTLY!!!!
she'll say things like "I suck at pitching" constantly, but then immediately look up for someone to say "What!?!?! No way, your the greatest ever!!!" Or something along those lines. I've played along for long enough. Bottom line is, real pitchers and real ball players want to pitch, or wants the ball, especially when the game is on the line. She apparently doesn't.
 

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