Do I make the choice for my player?

[JLS84]

In a nutshell my (now 12U daughter) was on a Class A team for 3 years, last season we moved her to a B team To get more reps but we realized she is an A player.

Her Ex A team has invited her to play again and she wants to go because all her friends are on that team.

Pros: Winning team, players at same level
Cons: Win at all cost, Dont talk with parents

She also has a spot in her class B team

pros: More infeld reps, we have Parent friends
Cons: losing team, coaching is adequate, our player is best one on team

In all truth we prefer she stick with B class team, however our player has chosen to go back to the class A team.
So I need advice, do we let her decide or make a decision for her?

 

[_MIA_]

Her Ex A team has invited her to play again and she wants to go because all her friends are on that team.

Pros: Winning team, players at same level
Cons: Win at all cost, Dont talk with parents

I only see one con here...

Of course I haven't had anybody I consider a friend since college so there is that.

 

[4 girl's dad]

Go to A team and earn it. Find a way to get play time. Practice practice practice.

Besides, she wants to play with friends and at 12U she has time to get better. 2 years of 12u means she just turned 10. A lot will change in 4 years when she is 16U.

DD just started 16U and used to be one of the smallest and now she is one of the tallest at 14. She has almost always been the youngest as well. (Dec birthday.).


Make sure she is having fun and growing as a player.



NOW< if he coach isn’t goivong her a fair shot, I’d look elsewhere....

 

[Chris8]

In a nutshell my (now 12U daughter) was on a Class A team for 3 years, last season we moved her to a B team To get more reps but we realized she is an A player.

Her Ex A team has invited her to play again and she wants to go because all her friends are on that team.

Pros: Winning team, players at same level
Cons: Win at all cost, Dont talk with parents

She also has a spot in her class B team

pros: More infeld reps, we have Parent friends
Cons: losing team, coaching is adequate, our player is best one on team

In all truth we prefer she stick with B class team, however our player has chosen to go back to the class A team.
So I need advice, do we let her decide or make a decision for her?

Her journey, not yours.

We believe with our DD she has the decision. We are there for guidance and to help her navigate the pros/cons and decisions. Obviously if we knew of a unsafe coach or such we have veto power. She just made a tough team change leaving two BFF's. Same level of teams however. She liked the coaching, practice and game schedule of new team....even where she "might" have less playing time or has to earn her position again.

Let her decide then support her 100%

 

[JLS84]

Thank you, definitely needed to hear that.

 

[canyonjoe]

I thought I was letting DD make the decisions but too often our bias got into the equation (not intentionally). She later said she felt she would let us down making the other decision which wasn't true, but that's how she felt.

 

[JLS84]

Before this advice we did the same...
We told her all the things to expect if she moved teams & she flat out told us, “your telling me things to change my mind about what I want to do.”

So last night I gave her a big hug & whatever you want to do we are gonna support you every step.

As @Chris8 said “Her journey, not yours”

Thank you

 

[Sparky Guy]

My DD played on multiple high level teams. She wanted the competition. She knew it could not be about friends. On most of the teams she never hung out with any of the girls on the team. They were spread out too far geographically. She hung out with her HS school friends. To this day she is closer to her HS school friends. Even with her college teammates, she stays in touch with them through social media occasionally. But that's about it.

The parents are YOUR friends. Not her's. Let her play where she feels she'll be challenged. Let her play where she has to earn it. It will help her later on in life.

 

[Orange Socks]

Play with the A team. By playing with the A team, your team will play other A teams which means you can scout those other teams for future tryouts. The other coaches will see her play too. If your DD is an A player she needs to play against that competition or she will become bored. It's like going from B level back to Rec League. It becomes painfully obvious that your DD is better than her teammates and competition. Do what is best for your DD. It's not about your social time. Yes, you will be able to be freindly with the parents year to year. This team will break apart player by player over the years and your DD will play for different teams in years to come. You will continue to be friendly with the parents on oppsosing teams every weekend. Get used to the idea.

 

[Hawk_]

Go with better coaching 90% of the time.