Do I make the choice for my player?

[625ender]

Her journey, not yours.
Let her decide then support her 100%

There's your answer. Despite popular parent beliefs the vast majority of ball players in any sport do not want to play in college or play for money

 

[Blueriverdrivers]

We were in the same boat this year. The kid at first will for sure say they want to play with their friends. Which my daughter did as well. Then after a couple of days she realized the competitor in her and decided to go with the new team. Both teams have very good coaching but the new team has great facilities and a much better organization top to bottom. Sure she might have to earn her way back to the top but that’s exactly what she wants and she wants to be on a team where the other girls feel the same way. She told me she was tired of multiple girls on her former team being “sloppy” all the time. Which I knew where she was coming from and some of the girls were being lazy and seemingly were only out there so their parents could put a team sticker in their back window of their SUV. She wanted to me a part of something that will push her and her teammates to be the best. We will see how this year goes and hopefully everything works out.

 

[Eric F]

In a nutshell my (now 12U daughter) was on a Class A team for 3 years, last season we moved her to a B team To get more reps but we realized she is an A player.

Her Ex A team has invited her to play again and she wants to go because all her friends are on that team.

Pros: Winning team, players at same level
Cons: Win at all cost, Dont talk with parents

She also has a spot in her class B team

pros: More infeld reps, we have Parent friends
Cons: losing team, coaching is adequate, our player is best one on team

In all truth we prefer she stick with B class team, however our player has chosen to go back to the class A team.
So I need advice, do we let her decide or make a decision for her?

The important parts are in bold.

The response from @Chris8 nailed it.

 

[joe720]

My DD has been one of the best on the team she played for the last 4 years. This year we moved to a national team where she is more like 10th or 11th. Has to earn her spot and i like it. Though she made the decision not me.

 

[marriard]

100% go with her journey UNLESS there are real life things you just can't do:

- If it is financially just not doable. Don't bankrupt yourself over 12U or any other travel softball
- If it time-wise impossible to do - if you are expected to get to practice and that is a 3 hour round trip 2-3 times per week. If every week involves 10 hours of travel to a tournament. And so on.
- If it would kill her education. Grades are more important.
- If it means you are completely prioritizing one of your children over another in a material way
- If you know you are putting your child in a bad situation with abusive coaches or with other elements (why do people do this)

You STILL have to parent.

But yes, all things equal, you go with what is going to make her happy. It is meant to be FUN.

 

[Orange Socks]

You STILL have to parent.

This is where I find parents miss the spot. There was a player that we were courting a few years ago. I used to coach her and was friends with the dad. He said he knew coming over was the best for her, but he said "she wants to play with friends" on a team that sucked. She actually had friends on our team. We see them playing on a field over from us and me and the player locked eyes while she was in the dugout, and I could tell she was hating her current situation. She turned into a nice player. She was my 12th pick on my Summer all star team as a sympathy pick. The kid had cement in her shoes! But a 12 yr old player will not be the same player as a 17 yr old.

Her Senior year she led the district in doubles (16) and batted over .450. Would have been a nice college player, but the teams she was on did not have other players that were college softball material. Really didn't do her work to get recruited either. Ended up going to Big State U a state over as a NARP. I wonder if the dad said Hey kid let's change teams, and see what happens. She would have been working with a team that comprised of fully committed and signed players with college coaches at all levels watching us play. That might have motivated her in a different way. Now she is a sorority girl living her best Instagram life!

 

[uncdrew]

Fortunately she can change teams every year if needed. Always good to try all scenarios and determine the best for her.

 

[Sparky Guy]

This is where I find parents miss the spot. There was a player that we were courting a few years ago. I used to coach her and was friends with the dad. He said he knew coming over was the best for her, but he said "she wants to play with friends" on a team that sucked.

I keep saying this over and over. Friends are the biggest detriment to a strong player's career unless the friends are competitive and want to play on a strong team.

 

[BT3100]

Never play on a team lower than your DDs abilities. When she gets to high school you'll have plenty of time for that.

 

[Orange Socks]

Never play on a team lower than your DDs abilities. When she gets to high school you'll have plenty of time for that.

True dat!