Dilema .. what would you do?

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May 9, 2008
443
16
Hartford, CT
Not that many conversations, just a lot covered in each conversation. I'm sure I'm not perfect. I do ask questions when the story keeps changing (different information from Director and Coach), the information is incorrect (coach telling director things that are not true), or why fundraising being targeted to just a few families, no one puts anything in writing so information gets distorted (sometimes intentionally), ....etc ....

The coach told me directly "they won't see the field, I have to get the others ready for Florida" and will be removing us from 2 more tournaments.
OK fine, finally some honesty. But if you obviously don't need or want my kids as players, just tell us and not demand money for the privaledge of sitting your bench.

If this was skill based, fine. But it isn't, it is $$ based.

We have no problem with team going to Flo without us...I have fundraising stuff here to help that effort.
We just wanted our 7 tournaments with our team.

Anyway ...
Will take some time to think about what we want to do, I may have a part time job (not a lot of money) but that may help with future softball funding. We may or may not pursue other options. Right now we are "tired".

I realize that money is important in succeeding to participate and perform in travel softball, but I have to believe there is still a good option somewhere for us.
 
May 9, 2008
443
16
Hartford, CT
Just wanted to THANK all of you for some very good advice!

Our coach last year (same organization) is the Director this year (Director both years) .... he "begged" us to stay (last year was very typical difficult first year) as we are generally very supportive and aren't in coach face type of parents. We helped bring this team together and brought in another team to help grow the organization.

Hoping it just comes to all us "agreeing to disagree" and going separate ways as this just isn't working.
 
Jul 9, 2010
289
0
I'm curious as to what this prestigious FL tournament is that has the guy so wound up. Is it USSSA Worlds? We went there, it was a lot of fun, but it didn't do anything to raise anyone's profile. In fact, at that tourney, there was LOTS of dead time during seeding rounds, to "allow" you to go to parks.

At 14U, a USSSA World Series is not likely to change the future of the organization. If that is what you are talking about.

I am wondering if, as happens often with start-ups, these people have lost sight of what's important, and think they will win some well-paying coaching position after being discovered in Orlando. Guess what - ain't happening.

In fact, if that's what it is, that is an expensive tourney - entrance fees, travel, etc, with lots of down time in between. When we went, we cancelled a family vacation to go, and went there instead. When we got home, we characterized it as getting sunburned, getting rained on, sitting around doing nothing, then repeat over 8 days.

As I said, it was fun, but I'm not sure I'd do it again.
 
May 9, 2008
443
16
Hartford, CT
Yes, this is the Tournament .. USSSA WS July 23rd.

I sincerely don't feel this is coaches way to get "discovered". Majority feel this is good opportunity for a vacation for them ... a couple are going because they feel they have to or that they didn't want to be the only one not going...
which is fine .. ...

It is very hot, muggy, sticky in July ... lots of 4-6pm showers ...

Some things people just have to experience themselves.


We've been to Disney twice already ... When we had jobs and money ... lol.

Personally, guarantee of only 5 games ... so much $$$ .. I'd probably balk even if we did have money ..
(only looked into cost for 3 for this summer .... some decent discounts for Disney tix and hotels, just adding it all up was close to $2,000 for three, though .. and we had a really tough year financially ...
just don't feel like it is a good time to put ourselves further in debt ... the reason/experience isn't justifiable to us.

Maybe there is a reason this didn't work ... maybe not ....

Will continue on working on skills ... if something good comes along, fine. If not, next year may hold promise.

Thanks for listening to my rant ... feel better ... do not feel as though we are "softball doomed".
LOL
 
May 9, 2008
443
16
Hartford, CT
Would have driven to Pony (probably) .. definitely PA (8 game guarantee over 3 days) though ...
Fundraised for hotels for those ..
then could leave w/o being bound by cheap non refundable airfare tickets ...
 
Oct 22, 2009
1,532
0
PA
I personally would never go to Disney World in July or August. Too hot, too crowded, too expensive. There are much nicer end of year tournaments for your team to make a special trip that allows everyone to participate.

Time for a reality check. Your coach has made this all about himself, as he sees this "World Series berth" as something extraordinary and a validation of his coaching skills. It's not. Like all youth sports organizations that promote National Championship tournaments and World Series, USSSA is a money-making enterprise, and it is in their best interest to qualify as many teams as possible - that's why there are so many different ways to get a bid. Play in enough USSSA tournaments, and chances are you will qualify. They are selling you an experience with your family and team, and they are counting on the allure of the term "Nationals" or "World Series" to justify the enormous expense for that experience.

I'm not saying it is not worth it. Everyone has to determine what is important for them to spend their money on, and if this is one of the things that people can afford to do, that is great. But perhaps your coach has gotten carried away with the notion that this is something that will bring great prestige to your softball club. Unless you actually win the thing, probably not. There are plenty of B level travel teams in my area that have put on their websites USSSA World Series qualifications, and some of them have even gone and participated. I don't think that helped their recruting the next year, and I don't think it will help your organization with recruiting next year. The news that the way they treated you and possibly other families in the organization has probably done them more damage than any good that comes from going to the USSSA World Series.

Just my 2 cents.
 
May 9, 2008
443
16
Hartford, CT
Your description of coaches "motives" may be 100% nail on the head perspective. I'm sure ego plays some part in this.

A lot of this is being viewed as a vacation for a bunch of them. I'm OK with that part of it ...
(for us it would be more important to go with all our kids, entire family ... we went Oct 2003 and Nov 2007 and it was nice, not crowded)
(we aren't going to Disney any time soon, though)

We say go .. have fun, nice vacation, get lots of water park passes.

but once it got only about this trip and we started getting excluded from other tournaments we got upset.

Director called a meeting for tonight .. figured out some e-mail "blinded" so not sure who, exactly, will be there ...do know they are bringing attorney board member ... coach may or may not be there .. not sure why he wouldn't be ...so expecting him. Why secracy in blind e-mails ... who knows.

We looked at contracts ... wrote down things in coaches contract the he broke, wrote down why our original agreement that we signed for no longer exists ... all the "legal" arguments. Want to away away without lawsuit ... what a pain that would be.

Also wrote up "perspective" and what is real goal here .... why is this so important .. is it worth sacraficing all summer tournaments and two players? Hoping to get Director/board/coach to see that this focus on the one isn't going to be productive ...
Pretty sure this will fall on deaf ears ... doesn't matter as too much water over the bridge for repair ... really sad....

Wish someone would call this guy and give himn a different persepective ... LOL

Anyway ...
 
May 5, 2008
358
16
I'm sorry, but if you can't go you can't go. It's not like you want to leave them to go play with some other team instead of theirs in these tourneys - which I "hope" is the spirit with which those contracts were written. We haven't read the contract, so we really don't know what kind of legal grounds they have to stand on because of that, but I can tell you that I think their character stinks and I wouldn't want my kids around that.

I'm with the others...walk away, don't pay anything else and find your daughters another environment to play in. They don't deserve this. Just another example of adults messing up youth sports.
 
Sep 3, 2009
675
0
You said "that WE signed.." We who? Your daughters? Or you and your spouse? If it was just the kids... Laugh in their face and walk away.

Oh, and USSSA Worlds in Orlando is a FAR FAR cry from ASA Nationals. So don't feel like you're missing out on the experience of a lifetime. Sounds like you unfortunately, got mixed up with one of the worst teams/organizations around. Just remember to always tell anyone that asks, what they did and do to their players and families.
 
Feb 6, 2009
227
0
You said "that WE signed.." We who? Your daughters? Or you and your spouse? If it was just the kids... Laugh in their face and walk away.

Oh, and USSSA Worlds in Orlando is a FAR FAR cry from ASA Nationals. So don't feel like you're missing out on the experience of a lifetime. Sounds like you unfortunately, got mixed up with one of the worst teams/organizations around. Just remember to always tell anyone that asks, what they did and do to their players and families.

At U12/U14 Nationals is about the experience to the kids. It really doesn't matter which one you go to. In the Northeast, ASA does a terrible job at this age level compared to PONY and USSSA. These two organizations make signing up for tournaments and qualifying so much more simple. By the time the girls hit U16/U18, they all wind up playing ASA if they want to play collge because that's where the recruiting takes place. But all of the best players in the Northeast played alot of PONY softball, and many attended PONY nationals over the past 10 years. Same girls, different organizations.
 

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