Did I do the right thing? (leaving a team)

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Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
Meh...what's done is done.

In my experience, you can only have two out of the following three:

1. A winning team
2. Good team chemistry
3. Your kid playing / batting where you'd put her if you wrote the lineup

It looks like you only had one of those three. I don't blame you for looking elsewhere.

Not being in this to send DD to play for Patty Gasso, I learned to value good team chemistry above all else. As constant losing also sucks, a winning team was next. With those two boxes checked, where DD found herself in the lineup was of reduced importance. That's not to say that she spent much time on the bench...she didn't. However, her placement in the batting lineup often wasn't what she deserved. For years with the same team, DD performed at least as well as most of those hitting above her, including the Coach's Kid, but Mr Coach didn't like to swap things around. Fortunately, a monkey could have chosen names out of a hat and we'd been fine. Everyone got along pretty well, and that made the games more enjoyable.

DD did pick up a couple tournaments with a team where some of the entrenched players weren't unfriendly off the field, but extremely bossy on it. Worse, their direction was often stupid, and the coach did nothing to fix it. Although that team sometimes won anyway, and DD did bat much higher in the lineup, we quickly tired of the atmosphere.

Although it's tougher to find an established younger team, be cautious with startups. The longest running team in my area was a 10U REC team that went through HS as one of the better teams in the state. I'd say the average lifespan of a team is 2-3 years. There are some college ball players in 10U Rec right now, and lots of 10U studs out of the game by HS. Promises of growing a teenage powerhouse from 8U are a bit far-fetched.
 
Last edited:
Feb 1, 2021
273
43
Don't second guess yourself. Do what you feel is best. If it turns out to not be the best option, well, live and learn. Simple as that. We all have done it and we all lived to tell about it.

My only additional comment would be this. Prepare your DD to 'give herself' to her coaches and teammates. I know on some teams that is easier said then done but do what they need you to do. You have quite a few years to go before 'where you bat' matters at all.

Sounds like she is doing really well, but she is young. Keep those bridges strong. No use burning them until you know you have no use for them. The 'top levels' of softball is truly a small world.
 
Jul 24, 2021
13
3
Southeast
Don't second guess yourself. Do what you feel is best. If it turns out to not be the best option, well, live and learn. Simple as that. We all have done it and we all lived to tell about it.

My only additional comment would be this. Prepare your DD to 'give herself' to her coaches and teammates. I know on some teams that is easier said then done but do what they need you to do. You have quite a few years to go before 'where you bat' matters at all.

Sounds like she is doing really well, but she is young. Keep those bridges strong. No use burning them until you know you have no use for them. The 'top levels' of softball is truly a small world.
Thanks for the response.

Even though I didn't agree with some of the coaching decisions, I understood it was the HC's/their team and was totally up to them, and positions/ batting order was never part of the discussions I had with the coach. DD never cared, she knew she'd put in work no matter where she played or batted🔥

When discussing the issue with my child, we did talk about those kinds of things happening in life and that she needed to prepare for it. (can't control how others act, only yourself and to always be kind no matter what others do.)
 
Jul 24, 2021
13
3
Southeast
Did this team also have 8 coaches?
Only when not allowed, such as tournaments. But yes, you had around 5 to 8 coaches on field during practices.

One pitched in college, and I never understood why she didn't want to go ahead and get a player or two familiar with pitching. Moving up to 10u after the fall, it could've been beneficial to go ahead and get one acquainted.
 
Jul 24, 2021
13
3
Southeast
Quitting mid season is bad form.

Dealing with adversity is one of the best lessons you can get from competitive sports.

I’m in the why have 8U tournaments camp.
Would you rather teams just schedule friendlies? Curious as to why you feel that way, and what other alternatives would you suggest?
 
Jul 24, 2021
13
3
Southeast
Rec..? Honestly I think playing tournaments is silly until the manner in which the ball is delivered to the batter has the intent of getting her out..
Fair play, though we've certainly enjoyed playing at the larger, more accommodating parks that host the tournaments compared to the local, less than stellar fields we encountered with rec. DD could easily practice daily with multiple 10u teams merely because of relationships formed through tourny days. They wouldn't allow this in our local rec, would call it a safety issue.
 

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