Denial of team tryout

Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

Feb 3, 2016
502
43
^^^ This. Sometimes as a parent, it's so hard to see the forest for the trees. If your daughter was so clearly a cut above her teammates, and she thought that afforded her special privileges, then she needs a cold dose of reality. It's an especially valuable lesson in the spring of her senior year, when she's probably about to go off to college and won't be the BMOC (BWOC?).
This.
Similar thing happened to a girl we know.
Parents said best kid on the team Etc., Etc. Parents actually got her cut from the team with tons of descent, complaining, negative texting. Not showing up for practice because of other reasons. At certain point 10-4 looks better than 12-2.


Sent from my SM-G935P using Tapatalk
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
It's not "unfairness", it's a decision based on experience. If your DD is really a strong performer on the field, it's telling that the coach doesn't want her around. Many coaches will tend to overlook a difficult personality if there's talent, but this HS coach chooses to pass. I'd take the previous advice about moving on, reflecting on what's happened, and definitely delete the identifying info.
 
Apr 6, 2017
328
28
Coaches have a hard time cutting. The coach more than likely has kids that have
been dedicated going in off season and what not. I was at a open gym the last day
before tryouts. All these girls flooded in. Where they been? Coach just smiled and
said this always makes it hard. Not as talanted kids working their tails off and last
minute kids taking the spots.
Whatever drama unfolded last year must of sealed her fait.
 
Feb 12, 2014
648
43
I am going to take a different angle than some of the other responses. Why have tryouts if you already have your team picked? That kind of stuff hacks me off. Most of you know that I most often take the role on this site of defending HS coaches. In every program I have run, I have told those who earned letters that those letters are for the concluded season and that "next year" they are not guaranteed anything. The tryouts, including this year, are truly tryouts. Also, any off season program workouts, in most states, have to be voluntary. I've posted on this site a dozen times that we have "open gym" or "open cage" and one of the things I make clear to everyone attending is that their participation will not guaranteed them a spot on the team. Also, it won't mean that those who don't attend will be cut. To do otherwise in my state is a violation and grounds for a team being banned in the post season.

I understand the points about attitude mentioned above and that your dd did bring some of this on herself. However, if she is the best player I will give her that second chance to see if she is capable of making changes. From there, if she didn't, she would be miserable. Still, in a public school system and I assume you are talking about a public school system, imo, she is entitled to tryout. BTW, I speak from experience here and have given more than one or two players a second chance. More times than not, that player has stepped up. JMHO!

Cannonball - you're a way smarter guy than I am. I have also been blessed in my coaching career to coach two school sports in which we didn't have to make cuts (football and track). I have been in a position to give players second chances, and like you, it has worked out for the team and player in the vast majority of the situations. Kids make mistakes and need to learn from them and move on.

I am genuinely curious about what you would do in a similar situation. You have an extremely talented kid who has burned you at least twice - once to go prom dress shopping and a second time blowing off a mandatory team work session. The kid has not shown any interest in being part of the program for a year and seems to have been an attitude problem in the past. As a senior, your younger players will be looking to this kid as an example for your team. You have a full squad of girls who have expressed interest in being in the program and put in the work expected of them. Maybe some are less talented but are "all in" kind of kids. If you do let this kid tryout for a week and then cut them, you will have probably kept them from pursuing another spring sport. How do you move forward?

By the way, how is the hip? I'm 4 months post knee replacement. Greatest thing to ever happen to me, but still working on getting back to 100%.
 
Last edited:
Oct 5, 2017
214
43
Western Indiana
I honestly thought I was the only coach that had hear the "I am going prom dress shopping." The parents think that is a good reason to overlook your commitment to the team?

The player on our team missed two games also. Mom did not understand why.
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
Maxfli -

You asked for opinions, so here ya go...

Based on your description of events, I would not want your DD on my team. Although your DD might be a very good player, the questionable level of commitment and unwillingness to follow to team rules
is a giant red flag. This kind of behavior tends to repeat, isn't an example I want younger players to see, nor is it energy I would wish to expend trying to deal with it the next time it happens. The bigger issue is you. You seem to have an attitude that your DD should get special treatment, and have described to us that you're willing to bully whoever you need to to get your way. Additionally, your DD has said that she doesn't want to play for the coach, but you're still trying to push it.

You are the problem. Not the coach. Not the principal. Unfortunately, you have probably done a giant disservice to your DD by getting her to believe the rules everyone else has to follow don't apply to her.
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
4,854
113
Only the best player gets a second chance?
No, every player gets a second chance IF they are good enough to make the team. I understand that I worded that poorly. As I have posted here before, the best play for me regardless of year in school or any other criteria. If that player can not then abide by the team rules they will be gone.
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
4,854
113
Coaches have a hard time cutting. The coach more than likely has kids that have
been dedicated going in off season and what not. I was at a open gym the last day
before tryouts. All these girls flooded in. Where they been? Coach just smiled and
said this always makes it hard. Not as talanted kids working their tails off and last
minute kids taking the spots.
Whatever drama unfolded last year must of sealed her fait.

In most states, holding it against a player for not attending off season workouts is against the rules and, invariably, cheating.
 
Feb 3, 2016
502
43
To often parents are the enablers to kids who feel entitled.

Not saying that this is the case with the OP/DD. Just a trend I've noticed that is on the rise.

In general these kids will have a extremely difficult time (parents too) when crossing over into real life consequences for actions they need to take ownership for..

Excuses or blame never payed a bill EVER.

Sent from my SM-G935P using Tapatalk
 
Jan 5, 2018
385
63
PNW
Maxfli -

You asked for opinions, so here ya go...

Based on your description of events, I would not want your DD on my team. Although your DD might be a very good player, the questionable level of commitment and unwillingness to follow to team rules
is a giant red flag. This kind of behavior tends to repeat, isn't an example I want younger players to see, nor is it energy I would wish to expend trying to deal with it the next time it happens. The bigger issue is you. You seem to have an attitude that your DD should get special treatment, and have described to us that you're willing to bully whoever you need to to get your way. Additionally, your DD has said that she doesn't want to play for the coach, but you're still trying to push it.

You are the problem. Not the coach. Not the principal. Unfortunately, you have probably done a giant disservice to your DD by getting her to believe the rules everyone else has to follow don't apply to her.

THIS^^^^^^ And to add....it's her Senior season at the end of a school year. How many students "check out" at the end or screw around because it's their last year. We saw this with DS's baseball team. When he was a junior the Seniors just didn't care. It upset him and his graduating classmates that their senior year was completely different and those young men set a good example for the upcoming players.

If she's skipping practices/team events before her senior year.....high probability this continues in her senior year. What happens when the suns out and going to the lake or the beach is more enticing?

I see her coach just dodged a potential big headache. The team chemistry is probably better w/o her AND as another person posted 10-4 looks better than potentially 12-2 and unnecessary drama.

Just my .02 cents
 

Forum statistics

Threads
42,830
Messages
679,475
Members
21,445
Latest member
Bmac81802
Top