Dealing with the team diva

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Jun 12, 2015
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Suggestions? Good articles on the subject? What do you do when overall you've got a great team but there's one girl (who will not be cut, considering who daddy is) who thinks she owns the team, causes errors by trying to jump in and steal the ball from other players (how many infield pop flies will be missed because one girl calls off everyone else then can't catch it?), HAS to play X position or hit X in the lineup regardless of performance? Addressing with coach, not helpful - parents made her this way and aren't going to fix it. Looking more for coping mechanisms for not strangling anyone.
 
Feb 17, 2014
7,152
113
Orlando, FL
Things will not improve and will probably only get worse. For the sake of your DD move along to a better environment and never look back.
 
Nov 29, 2009
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Looks like you'll be looking for a new team for your DD at the end of the season. If what you say is true that team is the epitome of a Daddy Ball team. Hence, the source of the poor reputation "Daddy Ball" teams generally get. You don't mention the diva's friends on the team. There are usually 3 or 4 who get preferential treatment.

If you can. Find a team with non-parent coaching. It's not a guarantee of the team being run correctly, but your odds are better.
 
Jun 12, 2015
3,848
83
Looks like you'll be looking for a new team for your DD at the end of the season. If what you say is true that team is the epitome of a Daddy Ball team. Hence, the source of the poor reputation "Daddy Ball" teams generally get. You don't mention the diva's friends on the team. There are usually 3 or 4 who get preferential treatment.

If you can. Find a team with non-parent coaching. It's not a guarantee of the team being run correctly, but your odds are better.

Wow, you called it. Buddy from last year's team is on the team & also gets special treatment, takes it upon herself to yell at other girls for taking "her ball" (even when it's not). We like our team a lot except for this :( We have a team manager who is very experienced and has no kid on the team, and he's awesome. The girls are learning things from him you just don't see a lot of other teams learning at this age level (10U). He is aware of the problem and doing his best to deal with it but it's not truly HIS team. He runs the practices & mostly plans how things will go down in games, but the HC can and does overrule him when it comes to his daughter (and her buddy, though to a lesser extent). These girls really don't have consequences for their behavior at all. The manager will try, then the HC will undo it. Right now about half the team is ready to walk in the fall because of it, including most of the top half of the batting order. We want so much for our daughter to keep benefiting from the experience of the older coach.

I'll add a layer that I left off before because I already know what you're going to say - daddy's little girl is a pitcher (as is mine). She's new to pitching and has potential but is not nearly as developed as mine or the other pitcher on the team. Right now my kiddo's getting her pitching time (we think 2 games in one day is plenty for a 9 year old; she and the other strong pitcher get roughly equal time, with the coach's kid gaining ground on that but still clearly #3 at the moment). We played a championship a few weeks ago and the manager of the team had my dd pitch that game. I overheard the diva's mom complaining about her dd not pitching that game. So there's the writing on the wall I guess.
 
Jun 12, 2015
3,848
83
And maybe I'm reaching here, I don't know. But especially considering how few teams at this age level are coached by a non-parent (and any team could have this going on and you wouldn't necessarily be able to tell in advance), isn't there value in them learning how to deal with difficult people? Someday she'll grow up and get a job and there will be some bossy, know it all co-worker she will have to work with.
 
Oct 3, 2011
3,478
113
Right Here For Now
Easy fix. At the end of the season, once you've fufilled your commitment, see who is ready to jump and see if they'll start a new team with the other coach as HC. Just have all of your ducks lined up in a row (including coach saying he'll go with you) and be done with it. It's all fine and dandy to learn to put up with certain situations but after several months, or even an entire season, I'd think that they know how to deal with it. If the AC won't go with you, then move on by yourselves.
 
Apr 25, 2010
772
0
Easy fix. At the end of the season, once you've fufilled your commitment, see who is ready to jump and see if they'll start a new team with the other coach as HC. Just have all of your ducks lined up in a row (including coach saying he'll go with you) and be done with it. It's all fine and dandy to learn to put up with certain situations but after several months, or even an entire season, I'd think that they know how to deal with it. If the AC won't go with you, then move on by yourselves.

I couldn't agree with this more. If the manager sees it, and the rest of the parents/kids are learning from him, try to get in with another organization as a team with him as coach.
 
Apr 25, 2010
772
0
If your daughter is playing the same position as the coaches daughter..run...run as fast as you can away. Chances are against your daughter.

This is not always the truth. My DD was a pitcher and on every team she played for, she ended up in the #1 spot. She never wanted to be the #1. Her dad was AC for a couple years, then HC. He was always trying to find a #1 because she really didn't want to be. He would give other pitchers every chance in the world, because it was less heartache for her NOT to pitch. He even had 2 pitchers that he planned on pitching 80% of the time. Sadly, they threw hard and were inconsistent or always injured, so she ended up #1 anyway. She now HATES pitching. Not all dad coaches are what you imply.
 

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