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DDs see no honor in being called up to varsity, and riding the bench-hear me out.

May 15, 2016
925
18
it could also be a product of politics
From what I am hearing it is politics. Supposedly the powers that be want to avoid parents of juniors and seniors calling and complaining that older girls are sitting when freshmen are playing.

This has been a lesson, that the world it often not a meritocracy, and that politics is an unfortunate part of life. That is a lesson I did not learn until college. I guess it is better to learn it when one is a freshmen.
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
3,853
63
... If varsity is about trying to field the best team a school can put together, then I think the metric of the dues would come from which girls practice three or four times a week, ten months a year. ...
Simply putting in time doesn't mean a player is getting better than another who is not putting in the same about of time. Factors like imperfect drill work, ignorant coaching, ... all might make those months of practice worthless. I am reminded of one of my former players who did not play summer ball at all. He was drafted out of HS and went on to play 7 or 8 years in MLB. No matter how much someone else practiced, they could not over come his advantage in athletic ability. None of this will matter anyway since you have decided, or your dd has decided, not to play HS anymore. That will save you so much grief. You can have your dd practice with someone who knows what is going on.
 
May 15, 2016
925
18
Simply putting in time doesn't mean a player is getting better than another who is not putting in the same about of time.
Lets take my DD out of this equation for a moment.

Player A is on a respectable local travel team, coached by a travel coach who has a decent win-loss record. Along with the once (sometimes twice) a week practice with her team ten months a year, reinforces the team practices by practicing on her own. She gets individual coaching lessons for both her defensive position and batting.

Player B's only softball experience throughout the year is two months of school ball. The school softball team is coached by a teacher in the district (known to be a top soccer coach) but isn't well versed in softball.

It is highly, highly unlikely that Player B's playing ability would be greater than, or even equal to Player A.

As an aside, coaching positions in our district are based on seniority, and once a classroom teacher gets the position it is guaranteed until they no longer want the position. District rules state a non-district employee can be brought in to coach a school team only if there is no district employee who wants the job. It is generally recognized that there are coaches who take the gig for money without necessarily having specialized in that sport.
 
Nov 26, 2010
4,049
48
Michigan
Lets take my DD out of this equation for a moment.

Player A is on a respectable local travel team, coached by a travel coach who has a decent win-loss record. Along with the once (sometimes twice) a week practice with her team ten months a year, reinforces the team practices by practicing on her own. She gets individual coaching lessons for both her defensive position and batting.

Player B's only softball experience throughout the year is two months of school ball. The school softball team is coached by a teacher in the district (known to be a top soccer coach) but isn't well versed in softball.

It is highly, highly unlikely that Player B's playing ability would be greater than, or even equal to Player A.

As an aside, coaching positions in our district are based on seniority, and once a classroom teacher gets the position it is guaranteed until they no longer want the position. District rules state a non-district employee can be brought in to coach a school team only if there is no district employee who wants the job. It is generally recognized that there are coaches who take the gig for money without necessarily having specialized in that sport.
yes some kids who don't specialize in a sport can be better then a kid who does. Athletic ability goes a long way.

As for teachers who coach for the money, based on how much they get paid for the hours they put in that would be one of the worst ROI I can imagine. My HS tennis coach never picked up a racquet in his life before he became a tennis coach. But the week before tennis season started the old coach quit and a group of kids were not going to be able to play, he stepped in and volunteered to coach so those kids could have a season. 15+ years and multiple league championships later he quit that position. He certainly didn't do it for the money, he did it for the kids. When no one stepped up to take over he studied and learned the game and became a pretty good coach.
 
Jun 17, 2013
50
8
Middle Georgia
I haven't read all of the comments, so forgive me if this is covered. There is PLENTY of "honor" in sitting for varsity, and the best thing players can do is continue to be prepared at a moments notice in case their name is called. And it could be called at any time. Other people have already mentioned the team aspects. Getting to know players....building camaraderie.....learning, etc.
g
I have a story that involves a different scenario, but shows purpose in being part of a team, but not really playing.

My DD was the best player in our area for her age when she started MS (6th-8th grade). She asked if she could try out for the school team. We said yes, but didn't think she would be selected as a 6th grader that was new to the coach.
She was selected...one of only four 6th graders. I was surprised when she didn't get to play through the first few games, but discovered the coach ONLY picked the few 6th graders in order to get them familiar to her coaching, and get them acclimated to other players and prepare for the future as a team.
She was called on to pinch run in the 5th game, and batted once.

In the 3rd inning of game 6 the coach was in the circle for a conference with the pitcher an suddenly turned and yelled for my daughter to get her glove and head to 2B. She had always played SS, but the 2B (8th grader) had smarted off to the coach, and got yanked. My daughter had prepared for anything and finally got the call.
We thought she was in for the long haul after that, but things went back to normal in the next game. DD was a little shocked, of course.

Starting her 7th grade season she almost never left the lineup in MS.

Fast forward to 9th grade, and HS. The varsity coach had been at that game she entered in 6th grade and was impressed she was ready to go...especially at a new position.

He decided what was best for his varsity was for DD to start at 2nd base while moving the former 2nd baseman (same girl that had smarted off to the MS coach) to left field. DD was an excellent middle infielder, although she had only played 2nd in that on game, but had difficulty in the outfield. She could hit, and so could the other girl, so he found a way for both to play.
DD was completely accepted by the older girls because of the way she handled herself while sitting the one 6th grade season.
the other girl pouted all season, but that's a different story.

Oops.....sorry so long, but the point is there are reasons for coaches to want players to be part of a team, and there can be "honor" in being a teammate without seeing much playing time.
 
Feb 8, 2019
18
3
“This has been a lesson, that the world it often not a meritocracy, and that politics is an unfortunate part of life.“

Unfortunately true.
 
Nov 18, 2013
1,627
48
I would say your doing something wrong. To not react and stand-up for your players is just as bad as losing your temper in a negative way.
I understand rewarding loyalty to a certain degree but the best players should always be on the field.
I could see maybe starting an older girl for an inning and then pulling her for the better player. That way the older girl can say she is a starter and kind of save face.
You must advocate for your kids. Why have them on a team where they don’t feel they are getting a chance to contribute and grow as a player.
As much as I hate to say it maybe have your girls skip HS ball and watch the team struggle with inferior talent.
The object of sports is to play hard, learn life lessons, grow as a team and ultimately win as many games as possible.
If a coach is willing to accept losing by not playing his best players he has no business being a coach at the HS level. He should stick to low level Rec ball.
One of life’s lessons is that even if a freshman has more talent or potential it doesn’t make her a better player. If they’re too immature to plant their ass on the bench to watch and learn they’ve got no business in the starting lineup. Advocating for your kids is great if there’s a safety or health issue. If the parent intervenes over playing time, again it just proves the kid doesn’t have the maturity to be there.
 
Nov 18, 2013
1,627
48
I was in the same boat that you mention, Bob about DD's that should be starting at the varsity level and upperclassmen that should be playing on the JV level. When I had gotten word that I had made varsity when I tried out as a freshman, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I was over the moon happy. On the JV team, I was a big fish in a small pond. I was the #1 pitcher on the team. After I made varsity, I was demoted to the #3 pitcher. Not because of ability...but because I was the new girl. I hadn't earned my time in the circle. Granted, I practiced. I worked hard. I was praised for what I was doing in practice...I was just too new to put out on the field in competition. I hadn't paid my dues as an old drawing teacher taught me when I was learning how to draw anime characters (it's still a hobby of mine when I have nothing else to do, I like to pick up my drawing pad and pencil and doodle making up new characters and stories). It's the same in softball...I had to pay my dues. I had to earn my spot to play although I made the team. As I was working at pitching and honing my skills and hoping for my time to play, an opportunity fell into my lap. Our catcher went down with an ACL tear. We had a girl (a first baseman) who could catch but her natural position was first base and coach wanted to keep her there and the JV catcher wasn't ready to play at the varsity level. With coaches seeing my work ethic, decided to give me a shot at it. Trust me it wasn't pretty. My whole journey is chronicled here. I never really sat on the bench again at the varsity level outside of injury (unless coach wanted to pull me in favor of someone else in a situation or wanted to give me a game off because of a matchup).

I tell that story because I know it's going to happen again as I start the next leg of my softball career. I have to pay my dues and earn my playing time as a catcher at the D3 college level. I'm good with this because it will make it all the sweeter when I do finally earn my playing time after having two catchers in front of me. I will probably see some playing time since I can play third as well.

They see no value in riding the bench. I saw a lot of value riding the bench when I was hurt. Granted it's frustrating as hell when you want to play...but your learning from watching someone who may be better than you or your still paying your dues and having to wait out the other girl's eligibility to play. It's not a crime to sit although it's frustrating to do so.
If only some of the parents here had your maturity! You're going to do great in school, softball and even better in life!
 

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