Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

Register Log in

DDs see no honor in being called up to varsity, and riding the bench-hear me out.

Jun 8, 2016
6,089
113
Bob, you and Francis or BBSG are living in a parallel universe. His son is having the exact same issues.

You use the word, "they" a lot. So, you sit around and "they" come to you with these complaints? "They" and your dd need to teach that coach a lesson and quit the team.
Lol..I got your reference since I am on BBF but I doubt anybody else besides maybe FP26 have any idea who Francis is. I thought he left BBF..is he complaining somewhere else now?
 
Aug 12, 2014
540
18
I think the fundamental disagreement in this thread is that some people don't believe that bad coaches actually exist, while others have experienced them first-hand. Sometimes coaches are unfair, play favorites, pick on kids, or whatever else, and it's not just parents refusing to think their kids can do no wrong. It really does happen.

And yes, kids still need to deal with whatever situation they are handed and do the best they can with it.
 
Dec 18, 2016
111
18
I think the fundamental disagreement in this thread is that some people don't believe that bad coaches actually exist, while others have experienced them first-hand. Sometimes coaches are unfair, play favorites, pick on kids, or whatever else, and it's not just parents refusing to think their kids can do no wrong. It really does happen.

And yes, kids still need to deal with whatever situation they are handed and do the best they can with it.

I don't think anyone here would say that bad coaches don't exist. I think the issue, at least with me, is the answer isn't to just quit. I've had managers that I didn't agree with and really didn't have a clue but my first reaction wasn't to quit. Quitting a team after the season is over, or electing to not go back is a fair reaction if it's not a good fit. Quitting in the middle of the season is not.
 
Mar 13, 2010
1,751
48
The thing is once they’re older they’ll have bosses they don’t like and ‘just quitting’ isn’t an option.
 
Jul 14, 2017
181
28
The thing is once they’re older they’ll have bosses they don’t like and ‘just quitting’ isn’t an option.
I don’t think the OP ever mentioned that his DD was going to quit. Our children can learn many positive life lessons from sports. At the end of the day, it is a GAME and should be enjoyed. When it is no longer fun and there is little joy in it, sorry.... but it is time to move on.

If I were a coach, I’d have more appreciation and respect for a player recognizing that for whatever reason, the team/sport was no longer for them rather than have a player who did not want to be there, just going through the motions.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
4,083
83
I think the fundamental disagreement in this thread is that some people don't believe that bad coaches actually exist, while others have experienced them first-hand. Sometimes coaches are unfair, play favorites, pick on kids, or whatever else, and it's not just parents refusing to think their kids can do no wrong. It really does happen.

And yes, kids still need to deal with whatever situation they are handed and do the best they can with it.
That isn't my position at all. My position is that I don't understand a parent allowing it to happen when they have the power to remove their child. Step up, take action and get your kid out of there. IOWs BE A PARENT!

However, and make no mistake, I think that a lot of those who complain like the OP are rationalizing the situation and refuse to acknowledge that they are using rose colored glasses to view the situation and their dd isn't all of that. I will point out again that my dd lead her team in just about every offensive category from freshman year to senior year. She went undefeated in the circle as a freshman and only lost 2 games total in her career. She held just about every career and single season record. There were parents in the program who had freshmen dds who complained that their child was better. FACT!

JMHO!
 
Oct 29, 2018
26
3
"The thing is once they’re older they’ll have bosses they don’t like and ‘just quitting’ isn’t an option. "

Sure it is. Of course it is. Maybe they take their time and find a new job or build a skil set first, for a period of time, but of course they can leave a job in the future and many people do just that nowadays. It's very common.

Bob, I had a coach like this in HS and a similar situation to your daughter. I ended up not going back to the school team and play just travel ball my senior year. It was a great decision for me and I had a wonderful time and have lots of good, happy memories with that travel team.

This sport, like baseball, seems so political in my area and many areas. I am not sure if soccer/lacrosse etc are quite like this - maybe they are. Unlike timed sports like track or swimming - you never see kids benched there because their times speak for themselves and it's an indivdual thing. I hesitate to encourage my DD to play in HS for this reason.
 
Feb 8, 2019
94
8
Life isnt fair.

Whether or not it is an honor to sit on the bench depends entirely on the character of the team, not the individual.
If you have a coach that recognizes and rewards hard work, i would ask that you be thankful, maybe try to understand that you are fortunate as this is not the way it goes for everyone.
 
Mar 15, 2013
51
8
I don’t want to be harsh but there’s really no way to sugar coat this.
If either one of them wants to play in college they need to get used to playing bench if it’s what is best for the team. And by saying “what’s best for the team” I mean what the coach thinks is best, not what they, you or anyone else thinks is best.
DD’s college team had 9 freshmen this year. 1 started almost every game, 1 was DH almost every game and 1 pitched fairly frequently. The other 6 sat, 2 got some playing time here or there and a couple pinch ran some. This doesn’t mean they weren’t of value to the team, it just means that this season wasn’t their time for whatever reason.
My advice to them is suck it up, be a good teammate, and learn from it.
Life isn’t fair but a not great situation doesn’t have to be miserable unless you let it.
Oh, and let them decide how they feel about it. How you feel about it shouldn’t influence how they feel.
Big difference between college and some High School program with a teacher coaching part time.
 

Forum statistics

Threads
35,860
Messages
536,564
Members
16,742
Latest member
minime
Top