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DD doesn't believe in her own skills

Jun 11, 2012
389
28
Is she generally a confident kid outside of softball? If it’s an all around low confidence thing I’d look into finding a therapist. If it’s just sports related I’d look into a sports therapist but also bring it to the coach’ attention and see if talking to him/her helps
 
Jun 28, 2019
3
1
My daughter is a perfectionist playing a game that can dismantle a all confidence because hitting a round ball with a round bat while 9 or 10 girls are on the field. She even gets in her head too much pitching. I tell mine to focus on something else quite worrying so much because all they should be doing in the box is breathing. Sometimes I have used a method of focusing on something strictly as a slow feet 6 inch stride is enough to create fast hands. Pitching my daughter would think to breath as then a natural motion is delivered. It was hard to brea, but anyone under 12 U should be learning to love this game and be the best teammate you can be at this time. Focus on hitting the ball hard on the sweet spot and finding out that hitting is about timing and pitching is all about disrupting that timing. Think of this everything is allows new and providing the best you can give while learning on the team to pick you up during this time helps. If you have parents telling kids, they are bette, or this does mean nothing creates a terrible attitude of self. Give your all to the team and see what happens.
 
Apr 20, 2018
739
28
SoCal
As a 12U TB coach, I dealt with these types of players a few times. My approach was to tell them something along these lines...

"I'm in charge of deciding where I put players on the field, and the batting order. I put my players at the position and spot in the batting order where whey will best help the team. You can bet that a lousy catcher won't be behind the plate very much, and a mediocre hitter won't be in the #1 or #2 spot in my lineup. You get a majority of time at catcher because you have worked your butt off to become a player I know I can rely on to do a great job in that critical spot. You bat at the top of the lineup for the same reason. I'm not putting you there just because I think you're a great kid, but because I know how good you are on the field. You're going to make mistakes. Even pros making millions of dollars, who have been playing the game for a LOT longer than you, make mistakes. I don't care about mistakes. As long as you're giving your best effort 100% of the time, and working on improving your game - which I know you are - I'm happy. I know you get upset when things don't go right for you. That's okay. That shows me that you have passion about the game. What you can't do is beat yourself up over an error, or misjudgment, and let it get in the way of your continued development into becoming the kind of ball player you want to be. Mistakes are only a problem if someone keeps making the same mistake, and does nothing to fix it. You're not one of those players. I believe in you, I know how good you are now, and I'm excited to see how awesome you're going to be in the future."

This kind of thing tends to carry more weight if it's not coming from a parent.

Eric is so smart!
 
Jun 28, 2019
3
1
Eric is so smart!
I have used these same models. I mean no one should act as Tom Hanks acts like in League of their own, but the best line in that movie is what he says about one who was quitting. “The hard is what makes it great,” it is a game based on the failure and no matter the stats every player must be prepared to give it their all even when one thinks they need to play in a particular position only. I am traditional as the game is starting to see a push for fewer strikeouts. I am just trying to get her transitioned from practicing great to applying it on the field. Yes, it does not matter what she does now, but it does mentally. Your team has to taste winning humbly and lose gracefully. If you could put the parents away and make them watch the Game in another area, you would see kids play differently. Her nerves are similar when I played until I got my hit or so then I could enjoy the Game. College pushes your limits with joy or passion. That is why stats don’t matter because no one has yet come up with measuring heart and they will win. When every girl learns that when they play for themselves or somebody blew smoke up the tail end of a parent thinking this league is not essential which disrupts a team. Some kids cannot afford travel ball, and thus this means something to them. Travel ball is killing youth leagues in my area. I know she is Nine, and as a father, I do not want to see her lose her passion for the game. I was pushed a lot harder, and it made me a better player. But in the same essence and swore, I would never do that to my child. But my hard work allowed me to play collegiate Baseball. I have went through all the scenarios which I tell Parents to tell the child I’m proud of you and I love you and I love watching as a team we have fun and I told her it’s all about team no matter what it is for the team They got your back no matter what you got nine on the field doing their best so go out there and own it with quiet confidence. I believe in that a lot for the mental side of it because when you got behind in the count or give up a hit you keep your poker face and battle back. She has very natural ability things come easy bc with your height and length she can really stand out in the game if she wants to but in the same breath I want her to have fun and cut the ball loose. The nerves even goes into the classroom because she gets very nervous on test so this is just not one thing it is just something that’s a fact of life that she is dealing with but so is all 9’s but in the same breath I’m concerned about it and baseball has always such a passion in my life it’s it is got me through a lot of things in my working career that i learned on the field so I’m trying to think of a way that that would release tension pressure off and just let her throw the ball with confidence when she gets two strikes on somebody. She is throwing the ball right now she’s getting at 35 feet throwing 40 miles an hour and that will only improve iso I am not worried about her skill. Frankly I’m not worried about what travel ball team that she need to be on that I’m told that she needs to be playing. Personally I’m not a big believer in travel ball as I think the high school system should control that more by picking their own coaches and also information the strategies in the way they are teaching in the middle school and high school because that’s what frankly our high school coach Had a feeder program that made the best play each othe and competing and competing to win. I want her to understand that this is not a participation sport and that hard work does pay off especially if you got natural ability. I believe she is just trying to do her best and playing a game based on failure. Is hard to understand bc of the gray area. I read this It is like Ted Williams would say scientifically it is impossible to hit a baseball due to the physics of a moving Ball and a round bat bat so that is how I am approaching this so far as we continue to practice regularly with a plan in place to get to a certain point in her ability by next year. In our system where I am from I think there’s way too much pressure on these girls and early age and I think they have to be in a mentally prepared mindset that goes out there and compete to win for the team
 

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