Coup D'etat and Softball Team Civil Wars (Someone trying to take over your team)

[Joseph Rhodes]

So, perhaps many of you have experienced this in the past, though, I hope not...Our organization has 3 age groups 12, 14, and 16...about 6 months ago, a dad of a player that has been with me for over two years "stepped" up to help coach...he was a good guy, active duty military (I'm retired, disabled military) and for a little bit, all was good...our 12's and 14's would frequently go to the same tournaments together and when they weren't playing at the same time we both had to go with one team...as time went by he spent more time with the 14's until suddenly he felt it was "his" team...well, soon the pot hit the fan as two weeks before leaving to go the Wold Series him and his wife, who was my friend or so I thought decide they are going to pull a coup and try and "force" me out and give him/them control of the team...uh, not likely...he got butt hurt and quit a week before the Regional tournament...since, it's literally been like the Marvel Civil War with team me and team him...I think I would be Captain America in this analogy...well, it has completely blown up the team...we just concluded the World Series and the team has imploded...5 girls have already left...there is quite a bit more detail, example deliberate attempts to undermine, and sabotage but, I'll leave that out...

So, what are your thoughts, and experiences on this...and do I have room in my totally imperfect human frailties to be well, pissed...

 

[WARRIORMIKE]

Dang Bro..... You need to get medieval on him.

Hope you get some replacement players soon.

 

[redbirdone]

So, perhaps many of you have experienced this in the past, though, I hope not...Our organization has 3 age groups 12, 14, and 16...about 6 months ago, a dad of a player that has been with me for over two years "stepped" up to help coach...he was a good guy, active duty military (I'm retired, disabled military) and for a little bit, all was good...our 12's and 14's would frequently go to the same tournaments together and when they weren't playing at the same time we both had to go with one team...as time went by he spent more time with the 14's until suddenly he felt it was "his" team...well, soon the pot hit the fan as two weeks before leaving to go the Wold Series him and his wife, who was my friend or so I thought decide they are going to pull a coup and try and "force" me out and give him/them control of the team...uh, not likely...he got butt hurt and quit a week before the Regional tournament...since, it's literally been like the Marvel Civil War with team me and team him...I think I would be Captain America in this analogy...well, it has completely blown up the team...we just concluded the World Series and the team has imploded...5 girls have already left...there is quite a bit more detail, example deliberate attempts to undermine, and sabotage but, I'll leave that out...

So, what are your thoughts, and experiences on this...and do I have room in my totally imperfect human frailties to be well, pissed...

Unfortunately, happens all the time. This past weekend probably happened over a dozen times somewhere in the USA. This coming weekend, will probably happen a dozen more. Not saying it's a good thing, but it's part of coaching a travel ball team. Handling drama and insurrection is one of those things that is in the "and other duties as assigned" category in the coaching job description.

Just learn from it and move on. Kinda sucks but it is what it is. You can't control other players, parents and coaches. You can only control you and your family/kid. So figure out where it went wrong and don't repeat the same mistake/behavior twice. Not applying blame to anyone here, just go into next season with eyes more wide open than this past season.

 

[Sparky Guy]

The hard part is spotting them sometimes. Had a player a few years back I picked up in private tryout. After a couple of practices in the fall dad says "I've coached before. I can help." on multiple occasions. I always made it clear my DD and I have the team handled. About halfway through the winter the player leaves the team for a BS perceived slight. He moves his DD to another team. There's all kinds of drama on that team and guess who is coaching the team come springtime? That's right. Dear ole' dad. The other coach got run off.

My "DADDY-DAR" was pinging wildly with this guy and it was right. He lasted a year in the other program. Never saw his DD after that. Don't know what happened to her. She was a good athlete.

 

[YOCOACH]

If I read your post correctly, you're coaching 2 teams simultaneously? That's a recipe for disaster in and of itself. DD was offered a spot on a team that the coaches were splitting time between 2 teams "until they could find qualified coaches to take over the younger team." We turned them down flat and ran the other way for the very reasons you described in your OP. Lo and behold, they never found "qualified coaches" and the exact same thing happened when several dissatisfied parents, who didn't feel the coaches were giving the team enough attention, adequate instruction, etc. etc., tried to volunteer as the new coaching staff. About half the team wanted them and the other half didn't. The team never made it beyond the 3rd tournament since 6 out 11 players quit.

Learn your lessons and move on. Find a coaching staff for the other team and let go. Give all of your focus and attention to a single team and you'll find it is much easier to induce player loyalty and satisfaction with the team.

 

[FP26]

I was involved in a similar situation a few years ago, but on the other end. I was an assistant coach, and the head coach was less than popular with the players and parents. Halfway through our season, a group of parents came to me and asked if I would run the team if they were able to get rid of the head coach. I informed them that although I appreciated their support, I really wanted no part of that type of situation. As the summer progressed we made it clear that neither DD nor myself would be returning to the team, but we made no attempts to recruit any of the other players. However, several of the players followed us and several others switched to other teams. Some asked me for advice concerning other organizations that I was familiar with at the time. The original team was left with 3 returning players going into tryouts (2 were coach's daughters).

Generally speaking, a situation like yours is way more common than it should be. As others have stated, it happens all the time. Do your best to steer clear of the drama and remain focused on helping the players that you are able to help. As a parent, I would do my best to avoid the coach that staged the coup. Simply not a situation I would want to be in. Good luck in rebuilding your team!

NOTE: I have been involved in travel softball for 5 years now. 4 of those years have been wonderful experiences with players, coaches, and families. We only had one year that I would truly like to forget. And even that season wasn't half as bad as some of the stories I read on here. I feel lucky...

 

[crystlemc]

I agree with YOCOACH, that there is no way you should be trying to HC two different teams. I think that maybe you should have let go and let him have the team, since he was the one spending the most time with them. The girls deserve a full time coach, not a part time one.

 

[PA SB Dad]

Happens all the time. One daddy coach sees some better players on another daddy coaches team that he wants to help put a better team around his own DD. Can be in the same organization, different organization, within the same team, it's all the same. Daddy coaches want to surround their DD with "better players".