Coaching Power Struggle

Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
4,854
113
I know this guy, he began coaching his first team when he was 13. That team was comprised of 10 year olds. Same young man won his first coaching award when he was 16 coaching the same team as they grew up. Then, many years later, one of those players had a dd who played with that former coach's dd and played for that coach. So, that guy coach both the dad and dd when they grew up. If I could only remember who that guy was. This has nothing to do with the OP and my advice is to run fast.
 
Jun 27, 2018
291
28
Here's the deal. If I were a parent of a kid on that team, do you know how PISSED I would be to be paying the big bucks for my DD to be coached by a CHILD? Very, very pissed. HC is running a scam here and I agree with the post upthread saying that he is merely putting his name on this team. I doubt this team will still be together come spring, but I would get the heck out of there now for your own DD's sake.

This is exactly what I was going to say. No 13 year old should be “coaching” 12u.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
If I were an AC (presumably the HC asked you to AC) and the HC told me to step aside and keep quiet for a 13 year old to instruct because she knows more than me there is a 100% chance that I would immediately leave the field with my daughter. Maybe that is just me though.

Nah...that's me as well, and likely everyone else here. It would also be accompanied by some very blunt words describing what I thought about the situation.
 
Jul 2, 2013
381
43
I agree with the group. It's time to look for another place to land.

If you know your DD will have multiple options, then I would let them know you are leaving ASAP. If not, then I would distance myself from the coaching side and start quietly looking for a better situation. Teams are always looking over the winter so I doubt everyone is full.
 
Feb 20, 2019
109
28
I haven’t read through all the responses yet, so sorry if I repeat what others have said. I also have a 13 year old daughter that helps me coach. She’s played softball at a high level for 6 years (she played on a 14U A level team as an 11 y/o). However, I would never tell an adult coach that she knows more about the game, even if that was true. The team I coach is 8U and she has a hard time getting the players to listen to her. I can only imagine how hard it would be for a 13 y/o to get 11 and 12 y/os to listen. Also, great players don’t always translate to good coaches. Knowing how to play and teaching someone how to play are completely different.

Run. Run as fast as you can from this team.
 
Jul 22, 2019
1
3
Although most 13YOA girls *think* they know more about everything than any adult, I doubt that a 13YOA girl knows more about anything than an adult. I've never seen a 13YOA girl be able to teach. It takes years to become a good teacher.

The game hasn't "recently changed". The "most recent change" is that the presence of more spoiled kids and helicopter parents. (You are not going to change them. You have to learn how to deal with them.)

The last big change in the game happened about 15 years ago when home runs became common. Teaching the major league swing happened about 10 years ago. Outfield play is more important. The infield plays a little deeper. But, that stuff isn't recent...and it isn't exactly super secret.

You may want to step back and look your coaching methods and style. You may already be doing these things, but for a check., a good coach. (I'm not trying to insult you...but, it is always good to do a little self examination.)

A good coach:

1) Knows the fundamentals of throwing, catching, and batting.
1) Does a lot of station work.
2) Keeps the practice moving.
3) Works harder than any kid on the field.
4) Knows a thousand different drills for every skill.
5) Enjoys coaching and has fun with the kids.
6) Kids like to be around him/her.
7) Kids come to practice because it is a lot of fun and leave practice with a sense of accomplishment.

If you look at the list and are confident that you do those things, then you are dealing with two Minnie Mouses. (A "Minnie Mouse" is a person who is doing something sexual, referred to in a crude manner, with a specific, somewhat stupid Disney dog.)



Honoring your commitment to two Minnie Mouses will earn you commitment to a mental institution.

Run. Now. It is not worth it. Find a new team, take the time you will save by not coaching and work more with your own DD.

Seriously:

You tell your child that you have to look at things like a job. Explain that one circumstance where it is OK to quit a job is when a supervisor makes it impossible for you to do your job.
Completely agree. You need to know when to "walk". And it sounds like the right time. It happened to us under different circumstances. Not coaching issue, but disrespect from league administrator. We walked, found a new team, been happier and have actually been asked back by old team. No thanks!
 
May 7, 2008
8,506
48
Tucson
I’m sorry that you are in this situation. My feeling is that you probably know more than the head coach.
Everything else has already been said.
Good luck.
 
May 22, 2013
33
8
Putting the title of coach on one of the players is never a good thing. Had that happen on 18u team, started a lot of unwanted drama. Find a new team.
 
Jul 9, 2019
28
13
So for the update......

We had our meeting between myself and the two other coaches. I thought we had an understanding that his dd wouldn't be a "coach" but more of a mentor. Then today, he started questioning me again. I talked to my wife to gauge her feelings and we are now looking for a team for my dd. My daughter is heartbroken, but I've assured her that we'll find another team for her to play on this year. We'll still take her to all the lessons that we were already taking her to and I'll continue to work with her.

I just want what's best for our daughter but even the other girls as well. He thinks his way is best and the only way, and I disagree, so we move on and hope for the best. Wish my dd luck with her future team!
 

Members online

Forum statistics

Threads
42,830
Messages
679,481
Members
21,445
Latest member
Bmac81802
Top