Coaching Power Struggle

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Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
I feel like we are getting punked! This can't be for real. Is it? Based on the information provided, I would kindly step away after the last game of the fall season. Tell the organization that this team is no longer a good fit for my DD. Tip your hat, and walk away knowing you are doing what is best for YOUR sanity and your DD's growth and development. This 13YO has been knighted as Head Coach. Her circus and her monkeys now. This will insure that you do not over step your boundaries. I am curious what the other parents on this team are thinking.
 
Jul 9, 2019
28
13
I feel like we are getting punked! This can't be for real. Is it? Based on the information provided, I would kindly step away after the last game of the fall season. Tell the organization that this team is no longer a good fit for my DD. Tip your hat, and walk away knowing you are doing what is best for YOUR sanity and your DD's growth and development. This 13YO has been knighted as Head Coach. Her circus and her monkeys now. This will insure that you do not over step your boundaries. I am curious what the other parents on this team are thinking.
No the 13 yo isn’t in any way the head coach. I’ve just been told she knows more about the game than I do and if she’s running a drill I need give her the space.
As for the other parents, there is frustration brewing, but I’m on the front line so I see more of the bs.

You’ve definitely hit on my sanity. I’m losing it quickly!!

I know this is fairly one-sided as the head coach can’t defend himself here. But I’ve been accurate in telling the situation. I do think people read more into it.

like I said earlier, I’m probably done coaching after our meeting on Friday and that meeting will depend on if I let my dd stay.
 
May 29, 2015
3,731
113
I feel like we are getting punked! This can't be for real. Is it?

I believe it is real; I have seen this stuff many times ... when I ran a rec program I had coaches try to pull this (I tried to prevent coaches from “coaching” multiple teams, as this typically happened), as a parent when my daughter jumped to TB (coaches that tried to recruit her and later told us somebody Inexperienced would be coaching “most of the time”), and I still see it happening to some extent locally (somebody who is supposed to be running things but farms it out to his daughter).

Heck, I’ll even admit to being a little bit guilty ... if I have a conflict and cannot make a game I have contracted, my first call is to my son who is a newer umpire ... it helps him get experience, I usually know what he is doing and if he is available, and it’s the easy first step.
 
Dec 26, 2017
487
63
Oklahoma
I'm probably petty- I would have quit coaching and stuck around long enough to watch the train wreck that your presence is likely keeping at bay, and then moved on.
 
May 6, 2015
2,397
113
I think you eventually will have to leave. also, are there other adult ACs besides yourself and HC's DW and DD?

an interesting experiment would simply at the next practice to just sit in the bleachers and allow HC's DW and DD to run practice. I think the other parents, if they stick around (which is what normally happens at most TB practices Dd has been involved in, simply because not enough time to go home and then get back), will see the shirt show it is, and hopefully say something as well

but I would run. 13 is too close in age to players on the team. having older girls help I think is great idea, but they should probably have at least an age group in between, and they should run stations under direction of a adult. If they have a different take on it certainly listen, and if it is how HC wants things done, then that is it, but this HC is just a butthole.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
Think about this. How many parents post videos here of their 13YO DD's hitting and pitching seeking advice on how they can improve their skill set? My DD has had several newly out of college coaches over the years, and their coaching knowledge needed lots of improvement. These are 22-26 year old women. I seriously doubt this child is scouring Youtube and DFP on what drills she is going to bring to practice. She is busy with Instaface and Snapbook!
 
Sep 9, 2019
130
43
Leaving may be turned against you as being one of those "need to coach my daughter dads." If DD is ok, stay for a while and really minimize your role. Do only as asked. Let them implode on their own. Work with your daughter outside. See where it goes and find a new team if/when appropriate.
 
May 2, 2018
200
63
Central Virginia
I think there is information that is being left out here. When the HC is gone is his wife running practices? When they are both gone are you running practices? If you are running practices as acting HC is the instruction still to let the 13 year old do her thing (which is completely absurd BTW)? Is the team good? Does your daughter enjoy the team/coaches? Is she getting good opportunities? Blah blah blah.

If I were an AC (presumably the HC asked you to AC) and the HC told me to step aside and keep quiet for a 13 year old to instruct because she knows more than me there is a 100% chance that I would immediately leave the field with my daughter. Maybe that is just me though.
 
Jul 9, 2019
28
13
I think there is information that is being left out here. When the HC is gone is his wife running practices? When they are both gone are you running practices? If you are running practices as acting HC is the instruction still to let the 13 year old do her thing (which is completely absurd BTW)? Is the team good? Does your daughter enjoy the team/coaches? Is she getting good opportunities? Blah blah blah.

If I were an AC (presumably the HC asked you to AC) and the HC told me to step aside and keep quiet for a 13 year old to instruct because she knows more than me there is a 100% chance that I would immediately leave the field with my daughter. Maybe that is just me though.

Wife runs practice when he's gone, with help from the 13yo. She told me that there is a power struggle between her and I when HC isn't there. I didn't feel that at all, but she had never said anything prior to him starting the dialog. Wednesday, none of them were there, so I and another AC ran practice perfectly fine. He sent us a practice plan that we followed quite accurately. My issue is not with his coaching style when he's there or his direction. He's a pretty good coach when it comes to X's and O's. But the other 'stuff' like handling the coaching staff, budgets, etc is what sinks him.

To add fuel to the fire on those saying I should step back and watch them sink. We played the same team two weekends in a row, before I knew anything was wrong, we were competitive with them (we've previously beat them), but last weekend I didn't say boo and we lost, very badly!! And while personally that makes me feel better, it doesn't make the team any better in the long run and it doesn't make 12 girls happy or confident. I may be a bit old school, but a loss is the coaches fault, a win is the players execution. I know I probably have a bit of a grandiose vision of what a team should look like. HAHA!!
 

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