Coaching Dilemma

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Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
4,855
113
Lets think this thing through some. You are volunteering your time. You should never be miserable when doing so. You have taken the time to know a little bit about IR in pitching and good technique in hitting. You know the benefits versus what might become a total mess with these players down the road. As you have already demonstrated, keep doing the right thing for these players.

I would have a major problem with the AC. In my program, they would be gone instantly. Loyalty is very high on my list. I understand small town politics etc and live in a small town that I often refer to on this and other sites as "Small Town USA." In my opinion you can't have another practice, game, or whatever without first having a sit down conversation with that AC. It won't work out in the long run if you have an AC who is disloyal and who wants other things instructed. The AC apparently has a DD involved as well. If you and I were sitting down face to face, one of the things I'd ask right away is how is the AC's DD doing with what you are teaching. Parents often don't understand that there is a learning/performance gap for everyone who works on improvement. It might be that this AC believes that their child is doing poorly due to that and wants their DD back in the comfort zone. I really don't know and am just guessing. If that is the case, let the AC coach that player the way that they want to. After all, that is what is going to be going on at home any way.

I'll wrap up by saying that I have coached ball for a very long time. Other than providing free clinics, advice when asked, and facilities once in a while, I leave the parents who volunteer their time and efforts to coach alone. This coach seemed to want to intimidate you. If that is typical for this HS coach, you might want to reconsider having your DD play HS ball if you can get her into a good TB organization. Good luck!
 
Oct 4, 2018
4,611
113
Yeah, that's what DH & I thought last year. Kept the toxic parents (most toxic we've dealt with in 8 years of softball) because the sweet kid of theirs was thriving and she didn't deserve to suffer because her parents were awful. Over the spring they destroyed our team almost single-handedly. Sweet kid, yes, but not cutting her when we realized what the parents were like is probably the biggest mistake we've made in all of softball either as parents or running a team.

Yup.

Won't be long before every one of us has a story like this.

In our case it helped that the DD was also a bit lazy, rude and didn't follow instructions. Made it much easier to get rid of them, even though we too kept them far longer than we should have.
 
Nov 8, 2018
774
63
Show them this video. Best pitchers in softball 2017. Ask them to tell you which girl throws HE. There are none. All have ball at 3 rd base or to the sky at 9 o’clock. Not one is pushing the ball down the circle. Proof perfect




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
May 22, 2019
15
3
First I would have along chat with your assistant coach about whatever it is they think they are doing. They might not be my AC for much longer if they are just going to rat me out to some HS coach.

And I would then happily ignore the HS coach. If they are stupid enough to not play skilled players when they get to HS or try to change successful players, that is a future problem. What can the HS coach actually do - they have no power over you.

You find many coaches here who teach the kids how to 'nod and then do what makes them successful. And you can do the same to the HS coach as well. It is the one thing I will give DD's HS coach credit for - he isn't messing with .500+ average or a 1.00 ERA despite DD not swinging or pitching the way they teach.

If the HS coach wants to teach 'their way' before they get to HS, then they can come out and coach the kids when they are younger on 'their team'. They have no control or impact over your team and it is bizarre to me that they think they do. Do what you need to do and what is best for the kids right now - and that includes sending them to whoever you think is best for them.
Idk how "small town" we're talking here... but the smaller the town, the more political and who you know, it can get. I realize this can apply to any size town or city, etc... but if I read the earlier post correctly, this town doesn't have travel ball. The HS HC might also be the Principal, Mayor, Sherif and owner of the Piggly Wiggly! I'm exaggerating of course, but this parent may not have another option if her daughter doesn't play HS ball.
 
May 22, 2019
15
3
Idk how "small town" we're talking here... but the smaller the town, the more political and who you know, it can get. I realize this can apply to any size town or city, etc... but if I read the earlier post correctly, this town doesn't have travel ball. The HS HC might also be the Principal, Mayor, Sherif and owner of the Piggly Wiggly! I'm exaggerating of course, but this parent may not have another option if her daughter doesn't play HS ball.
My point is that its not always a simple decision to burn a bridge that will leave you and yours stranded on an island.
 

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