Coaches: Harsh Conditions Do Not a Great Garden Make

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May 29, 2019
269
63
It is the parents who support these coaches that amaze me... "But they know softball" or "Toughen them up" or whatever.
Is it that the parents support these coaches, or do they think they are obligated to put up with it because "But, but, but...we play for the 10U Hittin' Kittins' Premier Platinum Select Gold National Team-Smith. Everyone wants to play for this team; We can't rock the boat!"

I have never seen so many coaches that are absolute clowns as I have since my DD started playing softball. And yes, I am just absolutely aghast at what some parents think it is OK put up with.
 
May 7, 2015
842
93
SoCal
I think it starts at the very top.. Many of the very top level college coaches are super hard on their players, that is what sets the tone. I believe that the club orgs who deliver kids to those programs prepare them in a way that the colleges like. If they didn't, they wouldn't come back to the same orgs year after year. This behavior trickles all the way down to the hitten kittens as everyone is mimicking what the others above do.

I do think that change will occur, but not until the old guard at the top is slowly replaced with the new guard.
 
Mar 4, 2015
526
93
New England
It is the parents who support these coaches that amaze me... "But they know softball" or "Toughen them up" or whatever.

Players learn to rationalize it, too. "My parents love me and wouldn't let people treat me like this unless it's good for me.'' Or "I wouldn't let people treat me like this unless it's what I wanted and need.'' To question your coach is to question authority, your parents and yourself. Pretty scary for most kids and many young adults. Then for former players who were raised by abusive coaches, it's sometimes easier to glorify the coach - Coach kicked my rear when I needed it!! I love you coach!! - than to see things as they really were.
 
Last edited:
Feb 10, 2018
496
93
NoVA
This season, my older DD’s 1st year 16U team replaced two departing assistant coaches with another who doesn’t have a daughter on the team. He is a local hitting instructor—and a good one—who is friends with the head coach. He’s had at least one DD who played D1 ball and has coached softball hitters for a long time. I can already tell he is going to make a big, positive impact on the team.

He is a physically imposing guy. Former D1 football player. He is soft spoken. He doesn’t yell. He mostly sits on a bucket because he is starting to have a hard time getting around. He is positive and encouraging. Tells girls that he trusts them, they’ve been playing the game a long time, wants them to use their brains to make their own decisions on the field rather than be robots waiting for someone to tell them what they should do. Will not get on you for being aggressive, even if you make a mistake, etc. The girls like him and are learning from him. When people make mistakes, he tends to make light of it. One girl booted a ball at SS tonight during a situational drill and he called it a “Polish ballet.” It was crazy inappropriate, but also kind of funny. It kept things light hearted.

It is so refreshing to see. Team installed a more college style bunt coverage tonight that he introduced and had it clicking within 15-20 minutes. There are good ones out there. Just not enough.
 

Ken Krause

Administrator
Admin
May 7, 2008
3,911
113
Mundelein, IL
And scholarships. Don't forget the scholarships. Parents will let coaches rub sandpaper all over their kids and pour salt water on the wounds to get 1/8 of a scholarship.
 
Jun 11, 2013
2,619
113
Kids need to learn how to take constructive criticism and learn from it. They do not need to be abused by anyone growing up. Time have changed (for the better) where you aren't stuck working for the local factory in town and have to take the abuse from your boss. You don't need to stay with an abusive spouse like you did in the past. The only time you really have little choice is in High School where you are stuck. Even then you don't need to play. You can find a good TB team and get recognized. You would think after the Gymnastics things that happened people would learn, but some parents just don't seem to care.
 

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