Coach/Umpire relationship

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Aug 25, 2019
1,066
113
There's been quite a bit of umpire bashing here lately, so I'd just like to say something to all the coaches here who take their personal time, just like umpires do, to make softball a great game for the girls who want to play.

Everyone knows, the #1 reason for umpires to quit is the abuse, it's as simple as that. And parents will be parents, hard to control them, so it's up to the coaches to set the tone. So here are a few tips for coaches:

1-Don't comment on balls and strikes!...First off it's in the rule book, and secondly, if you keep commenting about them (I'm not one to throw anyone out, haven't done it yet), and a close border pitch comes by, you're not getting it from me. Mind you I'll never compromise my integrity to screw a coach, but like I said, if it's close, you're not getting it from me.

2-Know when you can challenge a call! Judgement calls are not arguable, (force plays, tags, fair/foul). If you think your runner was safe and she was called out, don't argue it. And unless you really feel the 1st baseman came off the bag or something, don't come out and make it up "She was off the base, get help, she missed the tag, get help" when you know that didn't happen. And if the umpire is by themselves, NEVER argue these calls, since there really is no one to get help from, The umpire may very well have missed the call, but that's part of the game. Instead of yelling at the umpire, go yell at your orgainization "we want to pay more fees!....Get a 2nd Umpire!"

3-If you feel the need to argue (discuss, more like it) a rule call, wait until the the play is dead. Call time from the dugout and walk to the foul line, the umpire should come to you. CALMLY explain your position, hopefully the umpire will explain his situation, and get help if needed. Once again, if no 2nd umpire, right or wrong, accept his ruling and walk back to the dugout, do not make a big scene.

4-Control your parents!......It's you managing the game, not them, if they get on the umpires, tell them very loudly to shut the hell up! (we'd appreciate it ;) )

5-Know the situation to argue!....First off if you are a rec coach for 10U, DON'T ARGUE ANYTHING!....Please, just look at the play on the field, I hate those games, but I do them because I feel those girls need a competent umpire, but that's the worst thing to see a coach going crazy because of a blown call like that. Same goes for bracket games, middle school games, games that really have no "meaning", (other than the love of playing it) Mind you, if you see a bad call, come out and we'll talk about it. But if you play alot of local stuff, you are most likely going to see the same umpires, so go easy on them or else you won't see them anymore (or anyone else, for that matter).

These are somethings off the top of my head that would make the coach/umpire relationship better. Certainly I'm not excusing any bad umpiring, but instead of giving the umpires the business, get in contact with the organizations and ask what they can do better to train their umpires. I may be a rare one, but I do not mind being told if I did a bad job if in fact I did, (and I have) and I'd like to try and do better. I'm no MLB Umpire, this is not my full time job (I got one of them, also a family and other commitments)and yes I do get paid, I do not do it for the money, I do it for the love of the sport. So coaches, if you want to keep the good umpires (yeah, I'll call myself good, but I'm no Marriard mind you) help them out and go somewhat easy on them, because one day I may reach my breaking point and quit, and then the softball world will be down one more good umpire, and that's not good for anyone.

Oh and if any coaches would like to make a list of what umpires could do better (besides KNOW THE RULES!, yeah we get that), I'm all ears.
 
Apr 20, 2018
4,581
113
SoCal
"Control your parents!......It's you managing the game, not them, if they get on the umpires, tell them very loudly to shut the hell up! (we'd appreciate it ;) )"
This ^^^^ is the biggest problem I see. I hear parents chirping way more than the coaches. Some start right in at the 1st inning. Some of the backstops are so close that maybe the HC is not aware of what the parents are saying. So umps, if mom or dad starts chirping in the first inning my advise would be to address it immediately. It is not like they are going to stop on their own accord.

" Oh and if any coaches would like to make a list of what umpires could do better"
How about moving a little bit. I know some umps are a little old but just a little would help. See many umps that do not move an inch, literally. If the ump moves to get a better angle, I think they would get less criticism. When an ump call the runner out stealing 2nd who is almost obviously safe and he has not moved one inch to get a better angle and its your DD he is calling out (LOL) it can be frustrating. If he moved to improve his sight and made a bad call it would seem so bad. In fact, when an ump gets out in fair territory on a routine GB to SS to make the call, he or she is immediately perceived as a good ump and would get the benefit of the doubt more often. You asked.
 
Aug 25, 2019
1,066
113
"Control your parents!......It's you managing the game, not them, if they get on the umpires, tell them very loudly to shut the hell up! (we'd appreciate it ;) )"
This ^^^^ is the biggest problem I see. I hear parents chirping way more than the coaches. Some start right in at the 1st inning. Some of the backstops are so close that maybe the HC is not aware of what the parents are saying. So umps, if mom or dad starts chirping in the first inning my advise would be to address it immediately. It is not like they are going to stop on their own accord.

" Oh and if any coaches would like to make a list of what umpires could do better"
How about moving a little bit. I know some umps are a little old but just a little would help. See many umps that do not move an inch, literally. If the ump moves to get a better angle, I think they would get less criticism. When an ump call the runner out stealing 2nd who is almost obviously safe and he has not moved one inch to get a better angle and its your DD he is calling out (LOL) it can be frustrating. If he moved to improve his sight and made a bad call it would seem so bad. In fact, when an ump gets out in fair territory on a routine GB to SS to make the call, he or she is immediately perceived as a good ump and would get the benefit of the doubt more often. You asked.
Most parents make comments (more from the younger players parents,), thats fine, it doesn't bother me when they "ah she was safe", or "that ball was high", but I'm talking about the constant harrasment and abuse and comments directed to the umpires.

And you right about moving, I'm old (53, buts that's actually less than the umpire average age which I believe is 56), and I cringe when I see these videos of umpires standing behind home with their mask on when they should be moving with it off. I see umpiring also as a form of exercise, so I move around quite a bit, but this was a good call, Rolling Hard.
 
Feb 13, 2021
880
93
MI
Correct call on the moving, or even just knowing the CORRECT place to start the play from. Nobody on and a grounder in the infield? Base umpire should be moving from the line into fair territory, doesnt even need to be more than a step or two in most cases, to get the 90 degree angle, the plate ump should be getting 20 feet or so up the line to help with those sneaky swipe tags and pulled feet. So, yes, get the feet out of the concrete. Though I am pretty sure the umpires here are the ones who need to be told the least.

Personally, I never have an issue with explaining a rule I have applied, as well as what I saw. If you saw something different, I will isten to that, but when it comes down to what each of us SEES, that is a judgment call. Coaches, here is a bit of secret decoder ring stuff. If an umpire says, "Coach, if I saw it from your angle, I might have seen the same thing" It means "Yes, coach, I missed it and I know I missed it, but there is no way I can fix it within the rules." There are just some things that we CAN'T go back and change because to much other stuff hinges on what we DID call. (Generally these are judgment calls with other runners involved, for instance a botched catch/no-catch, where a runner advanced).

This thread could be a very good tool for both sides, or it can go sideways, let's all work at making it the former.
 
Jul 2, 2013
381
43
Oh and if any coaches would like to make a list of what umpires could do better (besides KNOW THE RULES!, yeah we get that), I'm all ears.

My number one umpire pet peeve is the dictator ump who wants everyone to know he's in charge and isn't going to listen to anyone about anything. Typically you know you are in this situation at the pre-game meeting but sometimes they are quiet at that point. If it doesn't come up then, it is quickly evident. They typically will refuse to discuss anything with either coach no matter the situation and will ignore or yell back when a coach tries to ask questions.

A little humility goes a long way. I don't expect umps to flat out tell coaches they blew a call but I do expect them to calmly and quietly listen to any questions or comments and give feedback as needed. That's part of the job.

The absolute worst one of these we had was a field ump. I heard him telling his HP ump before the games which calls he would make and which the HP ump was "allowed" to make. They both were around the same age so I assumed one wasn't new to the job. A couple innings into the game the field ump made two close calls on tags. Our coach called time and went to ask the field ump what he saw. The field ump yelled at him as he left the dugout and told him to go back. He didn't need any help, it was his call, and the HP ump couldn't help even if he wanted to. DD's coach at the time was the nicest, quietest coach she's ever had. He and 2 of the dads ended up getting thrown out after a brief exchange. Then the field ump proceeded to tell our 12U girls that our coach was an @$$hole. This included the coach's daughter who was in tears on the field.
 
Feb 13, 2021
880
93
MI
quietly listen to any questions or comments and give feedback as needed

Any question or comment? Um, no. There are certain things that coaches can't do. Arguing balls and strikes is prohibited by rule. Any comment that begins with "You are" and ends with anything other than "one of the better umpires we have seen" is likely to warrant action by the umpire.. I suppose that action could be considered feedback, but I suspect it isn't the sort of feedback you are talking about.

They both were around the same age so I assumed one wasn't new to the job.

We all know what happens when people rear-u-me things. While I disagree with the yelling at the coach to not come out, if the coach's only argument is that the tag was not applied, then the umpire certainly doesn't HAVE to go for help and only should do so if he knows he was straight-lined and his partner had a better angle.

He and 2 of the dads

Were these 2 dads ACs? If yes, then why are 3 coaches having a discussion with 1 umpire? This alone tells me the HP was a newer umpire and didn't know to/couldn't keep the second and third coaches away from the discussion If they weren't coaches, why were they involved at all? Why didn't the HC control them?

ump proceeded to tell our 12U girls that our coach was an @$$hole.

Unacceptable at any level.
 
Jan 22, 2011
1,610
113
I was very lucky to be an AC one summer before my DD started playing with a gentleman who was very polite to umpires and actually got some calls reversed because of how polite he was that surprised me. The two things I learned from him were-

1) If anyone but the umpire you are talking to hears you, you aren't going to get that call changed and likely are not going to get the next close call.
2) To a certain degree you are working to get the next close call to go your way when you discuss something with an umpire-- getting that call is a a bonus.
3) On a couple occasions I have gone out to talk to an umpire and said 'I don't think you missed anything, but I'm out here because my parents expect me to talk to you after that call'.
4)I have told my fans once or twice to shut up.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but what a lot of coaches don't know is-
1) You ask the plate umpire for time, and go to talk to the umpire who made the call and ask him to ask for help.
2) You are asking for time, not 'calling time'. Wait for umpire to grant request for time.
3) If an umpire doesn't think he needs help, he doesn't have to ask for help.
 
Last edited:
Jan 22, 2009
331
18
South Jersey
There's been quite a bit of umpire bashing here lately, so I'd just like to say something to all the coaches here who take their personal time, just like umpires do, to make softball a great game for the girls who want to play.

Everyone knows, the #1 reason for umpires to quit is the abuse, it's as simple as that. And parents will be parents, hard to control them, so it's up to the coaches to set the tone. So here are a few tips for coaches:

1-Don't comment on balls and strikes!...First off it's in the rule book, and secondly, if you keep commenting about them (I'm not one to throw anyone out, haven't done it yet), and a close border pitch comes by, you're not getting it from me. Mind you I'll never compromise my integrity to screw a coach, but like I said, if it's close, you're not getting it from me.

2-Know when you can challenge a call! Judgement calls are not arguable, (force plays, tags, fair/foul). If you think your runner was safe and she was called out, don't argue it. And unless you really feel the 1st baseman came off the bag or something, don't come out and make it up "She was off the base, get help, she missed the tag, get help" when you know that didn't happen. And if the umpire is by themselves, NEVER argue these calls, since there really is no one to get help from, The umpire may very well have missed the call, but that's part of the game. Instead of yelling at the umpire, go yell at your orgainization "we want to pay more fees!....Get a 2nd Umpire!"

3-If you feel the need to argue (discuss, more like it) a rule call, wait until the the play is dead. Call time from the dugout and walk to the foul line, the umpire should come to you. CALMLY explain your position, hopefully the umpire will explain his situation, and get help if needed. Once again, if no 2nd umpire, right or wrong, accept his ruling and walk back to the dugout, do not make a big scene.

4-Control your parents!......It's you managing the game, not them, if they get on the umpires, tell them very loudly to shut the hell up! (we'd appreciate it ;) )

5-Know the situation to argue!....First off if you are a rec coach for 10U, DON'T ARGUE ANYTHING!....Please, just look at the play on the field, I hate those games, but I do them because I feel those girls need a competent umpire, but that's the worst thing to see a coach going crazy because of a blown call like that. Same goes for bracket games, middle school games, games that really have no "meaning", (other than the love of playing it) Mind you, if you see a bad call, come out and we'll talk about it. But if you play alot of local stuff, you are most likely going to see the same umpires, so go easy on them or else you won't see them anymore (or anyone else, for that matter).

These are somethings off the top of my head that would make the coach/umpire relationship better. Certainly I'm not excusing any bad umpiring, but instead of giving the umpires the business, get in contact with the organizations and ask what they can do better to train their umpires. I may be a rare one, but I do not mind being told if I did a bad job if in fact I did, (and I have) and I'd like to try and do better. I'm no MLB Umpire, this is not my full time job (I got one of them, also a family and other commitments)and yes I do get paid, I do not do it for the money, I do it for the love of the sport. So coaches, if you want to keep the good umpires (yeah, I'll call myself good, but I'm no Marriard mind you) help them out and go somewhat easy on them, because one day I may reach my breaking point and quit, and then the softball world will be down one more good umpire, and that's not good for anyone.

Oh and if any coaches would like to make a list of what umpires could do better (besides KNOW THE RULES!, yeah we get that), I'm all ears.
I WISH I WROTE THIS!!
 
Feb 20, 2020
377
63
To those of you who help us out by umping, thanks! We apprecaite you making our girls' games possible.

I've never yelled or complained to an ump. But in the stands, is it bad to say something like "oooh!" when a pitch I thought was a strike was called a ball? Or something like "you've given that pitch all day" -- not yelling, and not more than once, but just saying it? I have alwasy considered that kind o of thing part of the game experience, but I don't want to do anything that would be uncool to the guys who are really doing a nice thing.
 
Dec 15, 2018
809
93
CT
I've never yelled or complained to an ump. But in the stands, is it bad to say something like "oooh!" when a pitch I thought was a strike was called a ball? Or something like "you've given that pitch all day" -- not yelling, and not more than once, but just saying it? I have alwasy considered that kind o of thing part of the game experience, but I don't want to do anything that would be uncool to the guys who are really doing a nice thing.

If it's not constant aggressive harping, then meh. Sometimes a mom/dad can't help reacting. I actually prefer it to the passive/aggressive "not your pitch Jenny" or "oh, that looked good Jenny" from coaches.
 
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