Coach saying it's time to leave

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Feb 20, 2020
377
63
The only question I have is are you leaving mid-season or just planning to leave next year?

I don't know about your area. but most teams are looking for guest players mid season instead of new teammates. So that might make "leaving" tougher. You might offer your daughter to guest for teams on the area's facebook page or playsoftball.net? and the weekends she doesn't have a better option play with your old team. I know that some positions are often in demand, and some aren'. But we've got a dad on our team who is constantly shopping his DD whenever we're off (and sometimes when we're on), but he doesn't always have takers. In any circumstance, a weekend playing is better than a weekend not playing.

One of the nice things about softball is you CAN work on individual wins and losses during a game. She can still pitch well, and errors behind her don't diminish the pitch. Same thing with hitting. If she's getting walked every appearance, then that would suck but I don't know many B teams that intentionally walk anyone.

I get the urge to leave when you're done with a team, but make sure you have options in place before you walk out the door.
 
Nov 20, 2020
995
93
SW Missouri
The only question I have is are you leaving mid-season or just planning to leave next year?

I don't know about your area. but most teams are looking for guest players mid season instead of new teammates. So that might make "leaving" tougher. You might offer your daughter to guest for teams on the area's facebook page or playsoftball.net? and the weekends she doesn't have a better option play with your old team. I know that some positions are often in demand, and some aren'. But we've got a dad on our team who is constantly shopping his DD whenever we're off (and sometimes when we're on), but he doesn't always have takers. In any circumstance, a weekend playing is better than a weekend not playing.

One of the nice things about softball is you CAN work on individual wins and losses during a game. She can still pitch well, and errors behind her don't diminish the pitch. Same thing with hitting. If she's getting walked every appearance, then that would suck but I don't know many B teams that intentionally walk anyone.

I get the urge to leave when you're done with a team, but make sure you have options in place before you walk out the door.

It will be the end of the Summer season for this team, but mid-season in terms of general playing schedule. Her current team still has tournaments this weekend, next weekend, and single day tournament in July. As well as weekly double header league games that continue on for a couple weeks. Which DD will play in all of those to honor our initial commitment. So, it will be mid-July before we have any risk of non-playing time. Plus she still has good friends on the team.

She's been working on her individual game with this team from day one of coming back from school ball. It's a conversation she and I have had multiple times. She is a pitcher and gets tons of circle time. So, I told her that she needed to use that time to focus on her pitching and also hitting. Reps are reps in my book. But, if the team and competition aren't pushing her overall game then we need to find somewhere that does.

I definitely agree with your last point. And it's hard to fit all of the details into a forum post. There are a couple teams who already know about her. One of which knows they want her on the team come August when they move up to 14u. They've been trying to get her since last Fall. And another program is looking at they're August plans as well and then will get back to us. We know both teams and they are a level DD can grow in. From there we will attend a couple other programs tryouts and then decide from there about where we go (or stay) for next year.
 

JOHNN

Just a dad of 3 girls
Aug 5, 2019
375
43
South Louisiana
If you arent already on various facebook groups for Missouri softball, thatd be an easy way to pick up with different teams until tryouts start for the fall. I know in my area there are multiple teams posting the need for pickup players and also parents throwing it out there that their kid is available if needed. If you really wanted, you could pick up almost every weekend if you truly wanted. And the great thing about picking up is that you might just find a team your daughter really enjoys playing with and the team feels feels the same about your daughter.
 
Nov 20, 2020
995
93
SW Missouri
If you arent already on various facebook groups for Missouri softball, thatd be an easy way to pick up with different teams until tryouts start for the fall. I know in my area there are multiple teams posting the need for pickup players and also parents throwing it out there that their kid is available if needed. If you really wanted, you could pick up almost every weekend if you truly wanted. And the great thing about picking up is that you might just find a team your daughter really enjoys playing with and the team feels feels the same about your daughter.

Yup! I’ve joined multiple Missouri softball FB groups. It was so many at one point they took over my entire feed lol. We posted she was available one weekend and even a team from Kansas City (3 hours away) reached out.

It’s also how we found her a 14u team to pitch for in a Monday night league. It’s just for a couple weeks and pretty low key but is free reps in the circle.
 

JOHNN

Just a dad of 3 girls
Aug 5, 2019
375
43
South Louisiana
Yup! I’ve joined multiple Missouri softball FB groups. It was so many at one point they took over my entire feed lol. We posted she was available one weekend and even a team from Kansas City (3 hours away) reached out.

It’s also how we found her a 14u team to pitch for in a Monday night league. It’s just for a couple weeks and pretty low key but is free reps in the circle.

Good deal. And my thoughts exactly- reps are reps.
 
Nov 25, 2012
1,437
83
USA
@HunterMO I always appreciate a good post where the OP has already answered his/her own question in the first post. Which I believe you did. You have the answer and as others said, seems like an easy decision so trust your gut and find your DD a new team that will challenge her and make her better.

If I can take a complete left turn, throw a screwball, curveball, or whatever.......I will give you a question(s) to ask yourself first and then ask your potential coaches as you tryout and anticipate joining teams.

It is fairly simple......assuming some travel tourneys are on the schedule...... Question(s) are......Tell me what you all do during the downtime? Are all the families going to the park (orlando tourneys pop in my head here) or dinner together or are people.........and this is the "catch" free to do their own thing?? What did people do at your last travel tourney?

Most tournaments may have a mandatory team dinner or something and there is not alot of "free time" but when there is......what are they doing?

In my experience and I have seen both sides to this........If the parents hang out and like to be together and do things then the girls will likely do the same and it will be a tighter team and that will show up on the field. If they don't and everyone scatters it might be a sign that the girls don't want to be with one another either. Not a good sign.

May sound a little crazy but have seen 3 instances (softball and volleyball, sport doesn't matter IMHO) of a less talented group of girls whose families travel really good together win many tournaments that they probably shouldn't have.

Also seen where a divided team who goes in all separate directions during travel but has tons of talent can't get close to the end.

Just observations from over the years and there are definitely outliers for sure but knowing what I know now like you mentioned....This would be one I look hard at before I join a team.

Hope it helps and best of luck!

S3
 
Nov 20, 2020
995
93
SW Missouri
@STRIKE3 You are right. I think we knew what we wanted to do. But getting some others insight to help make sure it’s the right thing is always nice. DFP can be a great sounding board.

I appreciate the piece of advice. The neat thing about DD’s 10u squad was that all of the parents and kids got a long. When we’d have a game or two break the kids could always be found together. All of them. Not one missing. They’d be hanging out or playing games in the shade. And the majority of the parents would be setup under multiple tents hanging out and talking. This was common at every tournament. Her last two travel teams haven’t quite been like that. Everyone got along but during breaks or after games everyone split up.

So this is something that we’d like to try and find again. Or at least something similar. I totally agree that type of atmosphere can often times be the piece that gets a team over the hump in a tough situation.

I’ll definitely ask the question! Thanks!
 
Nov 20, 2020
995
93
SW Missouri
For anyone who cares about an update. DD had a bit of a rollercoaster experience after we had talked with the HC about leaving. Nothing bad from the team or coaches. DD ended up with a string of injuries over the course of the following few weeks. But the injuries coupled with plain being burnt out she was mentally and physically tired of softball. Between shutting her down to heal plus a family vacation she took 2 1/2 weeks off. We didn’t let her touch a bat or ball.

Her teams last tournament was a week ago. She came into the week feeling healthy and rejuvenated. It was just a one day tourney but her team played the best softball we’d seen them play all year. Made it all the way to the championship game but ultimately got rained out while down 0-4. So they took second. All in all it was a great way for her to end her time with the team and coaches. She pitched and hit well (despite some rust). And overall had a great time.

Tryout season started yesterday. We attended DD’s #1 team choice. Some parents knew she was leaving and had apparently been talking her up to the HC over the past month. Unbeknownst to us he ended up scouting her over the previous few tournaments. He only had a couple holes to fill but offered her a spot at the end of the tryout. Said she was top of his list already but he wanted to see how she worked at the tryout not knowing he was interested.

We still have a couple more tryouts we will attend. But she wants to play on this team. So these will be more for experience than anything else. She’s already excited and we’re looking forward to Fall and next year. This should be a program she can stay with for the next few years and play with girls her level and better.
 

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