Coach dislikes my DD ?

[cshilt]

What does it hurt to talk to the coach? If you don't he won't learn anything from you quitting, if you do your situation might change for the better. Just make sure you aren't confrontational and try to do it before you play again and away from the team.

 

[fivepotsogold]

dislikes?

I guess I can call or chat with him ....

Did this once in April when he shafted her in a scrimmage...
several reasons why she didn't play
(she played 3 ... players blowing off practices played entire scrimmage ... ahead by 15+ runs too)
1. can't hit
2. pitching didn't look sharp enough
3. he forgot, lost track of player time

What circumstances when would she play (if not in a scrimmage along with going to all practices)?
"When I feel she is ready" "When she can hit"

 

[sluggers]

I've been in the exact situation. My DD (the all-conference D1 pitcher) first started in travel ball playing on team A. The coach was a little wacky (as they all are). My DD's playing time basically dropped to zero about midway through the season. So, my DD found another travel team (team B) to play for, but would always show up for team A's games. Team B let my DD play. The coach of team A got upset because we weren't "supporting the team"--even though we were still showing up for games so she could sit the bench and watch games. It was not good for anyone--not me, not my DD, not team A, and not team B (who wanted her for every game).

In retrospect, I should have told the coach of Team A, "We quit. No hard feelings," and saved the gas money driving back and forth to the games.

When she was playing for team B, she played with a 100x more intensity than she had previously. She was possessed.

Ray

 

[fivepotsogold]

changing teams

I was told that rosters set on June 15 so would be hard to "join" another team at this point ...most are already set with 12..

To be honest....there are teams around here where my DD would replace an existing pitcher quite easily .... But I'm not going to do that to another kid at this point.

We chose the path ... we need to correct as best we can ...

I will chat with the coach this week...
...maybe we will just make LL tourn our priority as she will play a ton there
start fresh with tryouts in August.

I do want to know why he completely shut her out, though.
We have been supportive and helpful ...


You don't learn w/o making mistakes .... we didn't choose right this time...chalk it up to experience and move on.

 

[NVfishing]

I'm not sure what your team is like but sometimes teams change coaches and not players the following year.

My DD was a tweener the first couple years. She would play part of a game, then she would sit because of her lack of hitting. I think the coaches the first two years made her nervous because they would get upset if she didn't hit. Then she would over think every thing and not hit. To much pressure on a young mind.

3rd year with the same team but third new coach. She's become the lead off hitter and has the highest batting average on the team with the most RBI. This coach corrects problems by explaining the problem not by losing his temper in a game. It's relieved the pressure from the batting experience and she's blossomed.

 

[Hollyrockartist]

I would talk to the coach eyeball to eyeball. Last year when it came time for tournaments, our team picked up a child from another team. She immediately took my dd's place at 3rd (where she'd been all season long). I was infuriated, but said nothing. At that point, my dd was practicing/playing with this team and had started her practices with school ball. We were going from school ball practice (2 hrs) to LL practice (another 2 hrs) twice a week. My dd didn't wear her batting gloves for one at bat for her LL practice and the bat "stung" her hands. She dropped the bat and hit the ground, grabbing her hands. I told her to leave the field and walk it off, shaking her hands. When she got back on the field (visibly exhausted and somewhat still hurting), the coach hollered at her - "If you aren't here to play, you can just go home!" I waited until after the practice to say something to him privately. I explained (as he DID know about her other practice) to him that she didn't have to play LL. We had originally agreed for her not to play but got a call when we were at the beach that he HAD to have her - 2 girls dropped, so reluctantly, she said she'd play. I reminded him that he begged her to play and he needed to cut her some slack. I think he understood what I was telling him b/c he never screamed at her like that again.

This season, he has had her playing 1st (should be there instead of 3rd b/c she's a leftie). He put her in center field during a game last week b/c a "weaker player" wanted to play 2nd, moving the 2nd baseman to 1st. You could tell at her at-bat that she was mortified that he moved her - she was swinging at everything and hitting nothing *usually a power hitter. He moved her back to 1st in the 3rd inning and she was killing it at the plate after that. Once again, he and I had a discussion. I quietly explained to him that you can't have a child play a position all season long and then decide that you want to move them to the outfield (in this league, the outfield gets NOTHING). He wondered about her at-bats? Well, there ya have it - she was furious she was stuck in the outfield when she is an infield player (with the ability to back it up) and she didn't care when she was batting. I think it sunk in with him, but we'll see come tournament time.

It always makes me a bit nervous to talk to a coach - any coach - about my dd's "role" on the team. I feel like it is their job to recognize her skills, or lack thereof, and help her out in areas where she is weak. I gripe to myself about parents who are always talking to the coaches about their children - where they should play, where they should be in the line-up, etc.. To me, it looks like **s kissing - I want my child to earn her spot without me having to say a word. However, if I feel like she is getting the shaft and it is affecting her game, I'm going to say something.

 

[NWIN]

Please tell your daughter never to feel mortified because a coach moves her out of a comfort zone position - even in the middle of a game. One thing we have learned in travel ball is the more positions you learn how to play the better off you are. DD subbed on a spring team while her team played HS ball. Coach said where do you play, she said, "where do you want me to play?" She plays first (lefty too). She ended up catching most games, some first and in one game had to play third, first time ever and did well at it. At the end of her time coach made a big speech in front of team (we just won tourney) about how he would miss her and how she was willing to step up and play anywhere. Now when we are going to college camps - the same thing is happening. Where do you play? She lists her positions. Coaches put players where they need them. If they are good athletes they should be able to adapt. A lot of players entering college ball end up playing positions that are new to them.

Years ago we played in World Series with our SS had an attitude and in WS the coach moved her to outfield in the game. Girl deliberately tanked a fly ball on the next play to show what she thought of that move. I heard she just got tossed off her first travel ball team (she was playing outfield there too). Sometimes it is about the team and not where players want to play.

 

[StacieM]

First of all, when your DD isn't hitting, don't rely on the coach giving her more at bats to solve your problem. That's NOT going to happen. Most coaches will tell you, if you hit, they'll find a place for you. If you're not hitting, chances are you will be replaced with someone who is.

I had parents tell me that before too...my daughter doesn't hit well because she doesn't get enough chances. Well, how many chances does she want? There are other players with the same amount of chances that DID hit. So they get to play.

If it's mostly mental and in her head, doing MORE BP usually isn't the answer. Seeing lots of hitting coaches can actually make the problem worse IMHO. Players starts thinking - gosh, I'm seeing all these coaches, doing all this practice on my hitting and I STILL can't hit. This does NOT solve the mental problem.

Not that she shouldn't practice her hitting, she should. However, get in, get quality reps, and get out THEN do more work on the mental side and you'll probably see greater improvement. I've had a number of struggling hitters go through Tom Hanson's Free Confidence Program and saw improvement pretty quickly. He also has more info at Baseball Confidence.com - aaf.


NOW - as a parent, I would probably look for another team. A team where my daughter will have more of a chance to improve...a team where coaches get players as much playing time as possible (even if it's not tons) even if they are the weaker one (in blow out games, etc). JMHO

Good luck to you and your DD.

 

[calgofo]

In my dd case she almost always played pitcher, 1st or 3rd. She would have loved to play cf except her foot speed was suboptimum for that position (poor child was quick for 1-3 steps but had the overall speed of a drunk snail). Whenever she was swithched in postions, her batting was unaffected. It remained pretty mediocre regardless of position...

 

[fivepotsogold]

Ok...

How is the coach going to know if she is hitting or not unless she gets into a game? (hits well at batting practice)

Why, when we are ahead by 10+ runs in inning one or two, are the top players still on the field? Isn't this the perfect time to give players who may be less skilled/experienced some timew on the field?
(we have mercied numerous teams this season)

Why is it that several players are making 2, 3, 4 errors every single game, that ohers aren't given even one chance to play, nevermind equal consideration?

I'm not disagreeing with using the best hitters or players at all ..... especially in close or championship games. However, a coach can make decisions to help develop or to widdle away at the confidence of a 7th grade girl...
It could have been done w/o losing any games as well.

There is still room for compassion and humanity in softball.