Can you be to competitive

[Ksphenom]

This was in an article on extra innings softball site that had me thinking about my daughter's competitiveness.

"HOW DO YOU THINK THE PLAYERS FEEL ABOUT LAST YEAR?

Coach Nelson: Defeat! This team has been so successful because they feel the defeat that others don’t. It’s burns them inside knowing they were so close but yet so far."

My DD's Tournament results so far this year.. 1st place, 3rd place and recently a 2nd place finish.

She wouldn't even pose with the 2nd place trophy after the game. She was extremely disappointed and actually down right furious.

Can you be too competitive?

I think it's a fine line that has both pluses and minuses. I suppose if it motivates her more it can't be all bad.
How competitive are your DD's?

Sent from my SM-G935P using Tapatalk

 

[grcsftbll]

You can definitely be too competitive, IMO. If mine copped at attitude over 2nd place I think I'd be annoyed. But sometimes I wish mine were more competitive, so maybe they can be not competitive enough, too. She's always all-out on the field, but once a game is over, it's over. She doesn't seem to care one way or the other once it's done, if they won or lost. I'd like to see a little more fire in her about the outcome.

 

[chevy706]

I definitely think you can be too focused on the outcome. Sometimes you can do everything right and still lose. Other times, despite your many mistakes, you end up winning. I try to get my daughter to focus more on the execution and less on the outcome. After every game I try to have her tell me what she did well, what she could've done better, and what she's going to focus on for the next game. Of course, she's a first year 10U, so we've got a long way to go.

 

[joe720]

I've always tried to instill to look at each weekend and weight the pros and cons. My DD can get worked up about a bad play but i am quick to remind her she's had her share of bad plays as well. While winning the tourny is great, growing as a team is much more important than a 12" plastic trophy.

Not saying that being competitive is bad, but keeping things in context will lead to a better career in the long run.

 

[uncdrew]

Yes, you can.

When it gets in the way of sportsmanship, that's a problem. And one that I feel is a "life lesson" moment that can and should be corrected.

 

[cvsoftball]

ha! I thought this was about certain parents and coaches and parentwannabe coaches.

 

[sluggers]

Being "too competitive" is not the problem.

The problem is doing anything to win.

 

[Chris8]

This was in an article on extra innings softball site that had me thinking about my daughter's competitiveness.

"HOW DO YOU THINK THE PLAYERS FEEL ABOUT LAST YEAR?

Coach Nelson: Defeat! This team has been so successful because they feel the defeat that others don’t. It’s burns them inside knowing they were so close but yet so far."

My DD's Tournament results so far this year.. 1st place, 3rd place and recently a 2nd place finish.

She wouldn't even pose with the 2nd place trophy after the game. She was extremely disappointed and actually down right furious.

Can you be too competitive?

I think it's a fine line that has both pluses and minuses. I suppose if it motivates her more it can't be all bad.
How competitive are your DD's?

Sent from my SM-G935P using Tapatalk

In March we placed 2nd in a tourn. My team was really unhappy. They posed with trophy and smiled and enjoyed the moment. But were they really unhappy. Post game talk...WHY are you feeling this way? To a girl they said in the championship game they didn't play their best, were flat, lacked energy and could have played much better. They'd played awesome high energy all the previous games. The team we lost to we felt we were evenly matched but didn't give them a game.

I love they didn't dismiss the 2nd place but knew they could do better.

Fast forward to last weekend. We play even tougher teams in pool and bracket. We finished second again. This time the girls knew they'd played their best left 100% on the field. They played the best softball this group has played...even in losing situations they were awesome games. They also gained more confidence in themselves and each other.

Not all 2nd place finishes are created equal.

 

[bmakj]

definitely can be too competitive . . . . read as living and dying by results. competing to the best of your ability, giving it everything is not too competitive.....

I know my DD HATES to lose.... at anything. but she is coming around to getting joy from the game itself, not just the outcome, and her and the teams growth.

 

[Strike2]

Being "competitive" is about 100% effort during the game and walking away knowing you did everything possible to prepare and perform at your best.

It is NOT about being so angry about an outcome that you won't graciously accept an award. That would fall into the category of...being polite here...a "poor sport".

Older players can also be bad at this. The most petulant ones are also those filling their faces with big meals or junk food between games. They don't prepare themselves to play during the week or on game day, and then sulk when they don't do well.