Sorry, but you should probably stop your attempts at HYPERBOLE, SARCASM, PARODY, they are really weak, and that's being kind.
I'm not expecting anything other than umpires with common sense and good judgement which was what I saw except for one fat guy who wouldn't leave the shade next to the ice cream stand to take a look at the situation. Whereas you seem to want to castigate these umps because they weren't following the RULES.
