"Bully" coach or are we over reacting.

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Oct 4, 2018
4,611
113
The bolded is why those parents talk about every.single. thing.

It gets better with time. By 16u everyone is talking amongst themselves in the stands, barely noticing the game. lol....... A little hyperbole but you get the idea. By then everyone realizes what the deal is, plus, a lot of those 10 and 12u parental headaches are no longer around because they have driven their daughters out of the sport with their helicoptering.

Y'all say this, I believe it. Now we just gotta get there. But at the same time I don't want this going any faster than it is. :)
 
Jun 11, 2013
2,619
113
For me I think it's important to coach harder in practice and let them play in the games. I am always amazed how many coaches are shocked at errors when they make the same ones at every practice. Balls that drop in practice are going to drop in games. If you are swinging at crap in practice......
 
Feb 20, 2019
109
28
Drives me bananas to see a coach tell a pitcher "You need to throw strikes". NO S**T coach? I bet she didn't know that until you told her. Lucky for her, you are here to remind her of that fact because no one else knows that. Lol.....
Uh oh...that's me. LOL But I tell my daughter that because she tends to focus on velocity and not accuracy. After a couple of walks, the batters just take everything until the umpire starts calling strikes.

As for the coach in the OP, this guy is old school. That's 1970s/1980s style football coaching. Personally, I don't see any place for that style of coaching in softball today. My DD's 14U A team had an assistant with a similar style, but not nearly as bad as what you described. He got the opposite reaction of what he expected. The girls, especially his own daughter, didn't respond to his style and got down on themselves and made more errors. Eventually, they all quit the team and found new ones.
 
May 29, 2015
3,731
113
For me I think it's important to coach harder in practice and let them play in the games. I am always amazed how many coaches are shocked at errors when they make the same ones at every practice. Balls that drop in practice are going to drop in games. If you are swinging at crap in practice......

^That ^that ^that ...

Coaches coach in practice.

Air traffic controllers scream instructions in games. (No offense meant to any air traffic controllers ...)
 
Dec 15, 2018
809
93
CT
Yeah, we have the opposite problem, a coach trying too hard to be their friend (she’s 19, they’re 12u). They’ve been acting up lately, and though had a pretty successful fall early on, got embarrassed last weekend by a team not much better talent wise, but much better attitudes.

I guest coached at batting today (I was their AC until this fall with a different HC). Taught the girls while trying to teach the very young HC how to handle them. (Realizing that it’s a lot different for a 44 yo dude than a 19 yo young lady).
 
Apr 17, 2019
331
63
Yeah, we have the opposite problem, a coach trying too hard to be their friend (she’s 19, they’re 12u). They’ve been acting up lately, and though had a pretty successful fall early on, got embarrassed last weekend by a team not much better talent wise, but much better attitudes.

I guest coached at batting today (I was their AC until this fall with a different HC). Taught the girls while trying to teach the very young HC how to handle them. (Realizing that it’s a lot different for a 44 yo dude than a 19 yo young lady).

Not that anyone asked, but I was a teacher in a past life, and straight out of college (22yo) was having trouble with classroom management (as most young teachers do). I got advice from all corners, male and female, all of them older than me. Much of it was nonsense, and none of it worked. Looking back on it, I'm confident saying that it's because I didn't have the automatic respect that a generational age gap grants a person (because societal norms). Her age is just going to be a factor, unfortunately, and she's going to have to earn respect another way. IMO what any young coach needs to do is just display her/his expertise, set an expectation that in practice we're going to work, and work hard. Fun time will come later; but just because I might happen to be your friend, doesn't mean that I'm going to cut you slack in practice. Just my $.02
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
Not that anyone asked, but I was a teacher in a past life, and straight out of college (22yo) was having trouble with classroom management (as most young teachers do). I got advice from all corners, male and female, all of them older than me. Much of it was nonsense, and none of it worked. Looking back on it, I'm confident saying that it's because I didn't have the automatic respect that a generational age gap grants a person (because societal norms). Her age is just going to be a factor, unfortunately, and she's going to have to earn respect another way. IMO what any young coach needs to do is just display her/his expertise, set an expectation that in practice we're going to work, and work hard. Fun time will come later; but just because I might happen to be your friend, doesn't mean that I'm going to cut you slack in practice. Just my $.02

It is why our org pairs coaches who are just out of college with a more experienced assistant coach or one of the parents who can help handle that (on both the kid and parent side) as they gain experience. Overall this approach has worked well for us.
 
May 5, 2019
20
3
Minnesota, USA
Berating any girl fastpitch player in front of their team, family, and fans is... IMO... a BIG RED FLASHING... "Warning Sign" of someone who should NOT be coaching girls fastpitch softball.

To help ALL the players/parents/fans... I would suggest filming a video of this behavior and sharing this with the director of the softball organization... Just a thought before joining another team.
 

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