"Bully" coach or are we over reacting.

[JumboJack]

My DD is on a 18U "Gold" team. Reason I put gold in quotes is because it's really a 16U team. Two Juniors and the rest of the team are young sophomores and freshmen. Last year it was a pretty good team but they lost 9 seniors.

So this brings me to the HC. Both of my girls have played for tough/demanding coaches before (youngest plays club soccer) and I have never seen a problem.
But DD's current coach is something else. All game, every inning he is berating and embarrassing just about every player on the team in front of the team and the spectators. I think his CTG (Crying teenage girl) ave. is 3.2 a game.

Just a few examples.
Ball smoked over the center fielders head, Hits the base of the fence. Could it have been caught with the perfect jump? Maybe.
But he yelled, yelled at the girl for what seemed like an eternity . " You've got to get a better jump! That cost us two runs! This is 18U not 8U!"
An error by the second baseman "E4! That cost us a run!"
Lazy fly ball to center by more than a couple hitters. "Easy out!"
Even simple stuff like the catcher (my DD) not firing the ball to third fast enough after a strike out (the batter had stepped in front of her and she didn't want to bean her in the head) .

It's CONSTANT. Every game, every inning. It's the same at practice as well. I have never, ever heard a coach act like this during a game and in such a public way.

The reason I mention the makeup of the team is that I think he is frustrated that he was not able to develop and recruit a true 18U Gold team. The team had a friendly double header this past weekend against a 16U team and went 1-1. The last tournament they were in the results were 11-1 L, 8-4 L, 6-2 L, 10-3 L.

It breaks my heart because my DD loves softball and trains so hard but lately she is dreading going to practice.

 

[diamond14]

Everybody had a different line to lay down on this type of behavior. Mine, is if I dont expect to hear this type of criticism in Chemistry class, I dont want to hear it on the softball field.
Played a team where a coach did this to his players, and toward the end of the game a father of DD teamate went over to the 3B where he was coaching and softly made a comment to him, he turned and said "what was that?" and took a step or two over and the father said, "Today is your lucky day, because if my DD was on your team, you would not walk off this field". Made an impression because he didnt continue berating. But this Dad was not someone you would pick a bar fight with.
hope things get better for your DD.

 

[denise_anngolf]

This coach is ruining the mental game of every girl on the team. Being held accountable by your coach is a good thing, but berating them will only lead to an increase in errors. Are there any other teams in the area for your DD? This sounds toxic.

 

[ANNASDAD]

It happens, and it's a tough situation to deal with. Hopefully you know a coaches methods before you make the commitment! There's one in our area, a high level D1 coach who also coaches TB for HIS organization. And this guy is an excellent coach, and VERY well connected! He's Hell on wheels, you better have very thick skin before you even think of playing for this guy!

I don't know your coach, but I promise I'd put my money on the coach I'm taking about! You'd think this guy has a permanent bullhorn somehow attached to his throat, loudest human being I've ever heard!

 

[ANNASDAD]

This coach is ruining the mental game of every girl on the team. Being held accountable by your coach is a good thing, but berating them will only lead to an increase in errors. Are there any other teams in the area for your DD? This sounds toxic.

I should probably give the coach I talking about a little more credit, he don't berate them......just don't screw up!! And when he says do something a certain way, those girls do it! Again, very good, very successful coach, just DO NOT screw up!

 

[djcarter1966]

As long as your DD isn't the crying kid and she can take it fine. Some people are just built differently they can turn off the yelling coach and just know that coach made a point about the play in the first 5 seconds and she gets that and the rest is just noise... If she is one of those takes every bad word to heart, cries after any dressing down by coach and can't deal with it, I would simply move on, assuming your DD has options.

 

[hummingbird]

I've seen this type of behavior, but usually during practices and not games. That's just unfortunate that he's doing it during the games. I like coaches who are hard on the players but not to the point of being tears. If I were you, I'd go up to the coach and have a conversation.
Sometimes people don't realize they are being like this until they are called out on it. I've been in similar situations at work where I had to tell a boss that he was being a jerk. Held back on doing this countless of times until I just couldn't hold it any longer. After that, he actually turned out to be a decent guy..

 

[Eric F]

I've seen this type of behavior, but usually during practices and not games. That's just unfortunate that he's doing it during the games. I like coaches who are hard on the players but not to the point of being tears. If I were you, I'd go up to the coach and have a conversation.
Sometimes people don't realize they are being like this until they are called out on it. I've been in similar situations at work where I had to tell a boss that he was being a jerk. Held back on doing this countless of times until I just couldn't hold it any longer. After that, he actually turned out to be a decent guy..

This is 18U. Unless there is a serious issue where the player's health is at risk (or something else significant), the player needs to handle the conversation.

 

[djcarter1966]

This is 18U. Unless there is a serious issue where the player's health is at risk (or something else significant), the player needs to handle the conversation.

Plus other thing is nothing you mentioned was address at the girls...YOU are the reason we lost, YOU can't play...seems like everything was address to them about a specific play and their performance during that play as long as everything is focused at their performance and not the girls themselves I give a little more latitude.

 

[Rick M]

Some people are just built differently they can turn off the yelling coach and just know that coach made a point about the play in the first 5 seconds and she gets that and the rest is just noise...

This is what is so ridiculous about this kind of behavior from a coach. The players on his team will fall into one of two camps: those who take what he's saying to heart and doubt themselves to the point of tears, and those who ignore him completely. The idea that either of those two groups has been "motivated" is nonsense.