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Bite your tongue, or coaches coach?

Dec 15, 2018
54
18
CT
New to this forum - for some background, I’m AC on a 2nd year 10u B level team. I played D1 baseball, HC played D1 softball, other AC played thru HS (though her husband had a cup of coffee in the show). It’s a great group who the three of us have coached since they were 7, so we’re largely responsible for all the good (and bad) they’ve picked up till now. Lord help the 12u coaches we hand them off to next year...

Anyway, went to the cages this rainy afternoon. It’s a small facility with one cage for 45mph softball (there’s a 55mph cage, but can count on two fingers the girls we’ll face next spring who will crack 50). There’s one girl in the cage - the AC and his DD from our cross county rival, the Yankees to our Red Sox, an evenly matched but not always friendly competition. A head nod of acknowledgement, but nothing else really said as the two girls took their turns, each of us coaching our own.

My DD was hitting well today, but the rival girl was struggling. She’s one of their better hitters usually, but mechanics were awful today, and he wasn’t exactly offering her any super helpful or insightful guidance.

Would you have offered any observations? I’m a coach, and I could see two or three really obvious corrections I could have offered up. Bit my tongue though because wasn’t sure how it would be received. Definitely not staying silent because they’re our rival - I want all girls to get better and learn whenever and wherever they can...guess I was more concerned about his reaction. We’ve had some lively disagreements on the field, but were holding what seemed to be a civilized truce in this moment.

Bite your tongue, or coaches coach?

Ps, on the ride home I mentioned I was surprised how many rounds DD took, she said “I wasn’t stopping before she did”...
 
Apr 16, 2013
659
28
Geez, bite your tongue. That's an easy one. :D I see so many massive flaws in some of my DD's teammates swings. I'm not a pro but there are certain glaring things that can be fixed. Things that I'm absolutely sure I could make better. I'd be more than willing to run a batting practice during our usual team practices. However, I don't say a damn word. I sit back and watch and just focus on what my DD is doing.
 
Jul 16, 2013
2,999
63
Pennsylvania
Ultimately I am a coach. If someone asks my advice, I will almost always offer it. That said, I will not interrupt when someone else is working with someone, no matter how much I disagree with what they are saying. It's just hard for me to turn my back on someone that is asking for help, even if it is a competitor.
 
Oct 11, 2010
7,463
38
Chicago, IL
Unless you think they are going to be hurt best to be quite.

If you might see them again you might want to introduce yourself then you can be involved. DD will take all the help she can get hate random people trying to help.
 
Jul 4, 2018
25
3
I don't claim to know everything but I see some bad mechanics taught by coaches, even paid ones. We had a girl just come to our team who's pitching coach was teaching some horrible mechanics. We follow a 14u B team (we are 12u) at our facility and I watch their coach teach their girls horrible habits. I never say anything. They will do tee drills and they will watch those girls drop their hands and turn shoulders too quick, step in the bucket, and just say "good, good hit, crushed that one" etc, never correcting them. So I don't. I coach at the high school I work at and almost all of the girls have some bad habits and they all either play "travel" and/or see hitting coaches. I will help them and give them suggestions. If they say my hitting coach tells me to do that then I tell them to do what that coach says even if it is wrong but I will usually talk to their parent and make sure. I then usually say something to the parent that I think it is wrong or to make sure that is what the hitting coach is saying.
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
3,852
63
First, I should take my own advice on hitting threads here but don't. Bite your tongue. It isn't your place and you just might create a bigger enemy when that dad is offended that you think you know more than him.
 
May 24, 2013
9,598
83
So Cal
Based on the situation you described, I would keep my mouth shut. If I had a friendly relationship with the other coach, I might tactfully offer my observations to him/her (not directly to the player), and let the coach take it from there how they choose.
 
Jun 6, 2016
853
28
Chicago
I'm in the "bite your tongue" crowd on this one.

The summer rec team I coach has faced the same few teams for the past two years. In that time, we've gotten to know the other coaches and some of the players from those teams. The coach of one of those teams is a great guy, and he has a DD who pitches. Her mechanics are a mess (nothing that appears to be dangerous to her health). I never said anything until we were coaching together for something this fall. While working together, I started talking to him about her because I noticed this year she was pitching less and less (and the other girls were not as good as her). Turns out she was frustrated with her lack of development. At that point, I showed him some IR videos/pictures. I am not an expert, but I can spot the really bad mechanics so I feel knowledgeable enough to at least say "there's this other way." He was receptive at that point, but I imagine if I walked up to him at a game and started explaining that his DD was doing it all wrong, he would've thought I was a jerk.

So if you find yourself in some kind of situation where you're working together, there's probably a way to bring it up, but don't just go and insert yourself into their session.
 
Jun 12, 2015
3,620
48
I would just keep it to yourself. Probably that goes just about anytime with any coach who hasn't asked for input.
 
Feb 28, 2015
255
16
Heatbox
New to this forum - for some background, I’m AC on a 2nd year 10u B level team. I played D1 baseball, HC played D1 softball, other AC played thru HS (though her husband had a cup of coffee in the show). It’s a great group who the three of us have coached since they were 7, so we’re largely responsible for all the good (and bad) they’ve picked up till now. Lord help the 12u coaches we hand them off to next year....
Is there a reason your coaches wouldn't coach the girls every year? Even when they move up? Sounds like you have a good thing going, take them all the way to 18's.
 

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