Annoyed

[uncdrew]

When the coach stops talking to, yelling at, joking with your DD, that's when you need to worry. Because that is usually when the coach has given up on your DD.

When I'm done with a girl I definitely stop talking to her and joking with her. But I still yell at her. Always time for that.

 

[uncdrew]

The seasons of softball...August is not yet a memory, but the multitude of sins committed by stupid travel ball coaches is now being supplanted by tales of sins committed by HS coaches. We will have to endure 6 months of this before stories about stupid travel ball coaches start circulating.

I used to ask, "When do you think your DD will play for the perfect softball coach?"

The answer is never.

 

[Orange Socks]

Yes, winning does determine where you are seeded when the playoffs start, not so much the scores.

In Texas or at least in the Houston Regions. The top 4 teams in each district make the playoffs. Then they play against areas which is predetermined. 1 vs 4, 2 vs 3 and then on to the next round. Coaches have the option of playing best out of 3 series or a one and done game. The first round is usually pretty easy for the top seeds of the decent districts as they may face a #4 from a district that is not good at all. The #1 seed in that district will most likely lose to theh #4 vs other districts. DD's team failed to make playoffs all 4 years. One win away from the playoffs one year.

 

[black17]

I'd vote with those that say, vent here as much as you want. When it comes to coaches and their coaching style, unless it's abusive, you just have to keep coming back here to vent. Let the coach do his thing even if you'd prefer they do it differently. Coaches just get swamped with players and parent problems. Most just get desensitized to it. A coach sees things as a collective team. A player or parent sees things on an individual level. The fix for a problem from those differing views is often not the same.

DD has had some wonderful people as her coaches. She has been extremely lucky. My son unfortunately has experienced the exact opposite. I totally get the feeling of hopeless coaching.

Despite my genuine respect for all of my DD's coaches, they have all done things I would not have done. And yes, my son's coaches are orders of magnitude worse. Perspective is important.

 

[CrazyNani]

My granddaughter was a late entry into softball. This is technically, her second "full" year of playing due to the cancellation of last year, but has already moved up to A-level, 16u travel this Fall. She was on a B-C level travel team this past summer. The coach always spoke about her potential to be really good yet, he really never seemed to trust her and just stuck her in the outfield. She was 3B prior to playing for him. Anyway, we came to realize OF was best for her because of her speed and arm, although she needed to learn to become a more aggressive OF. Her hitting took awhile to come around then suddenly, early this summer, she started hitting for average. She moved up in the line-up slowly. Then, at the end of the season, the last tournament, my DGD had to bow out because of an exposure to Covid that infected her family. All had been vaccinated, but tested positive and had to quarantine. One coach also tested positive. We, as a family, opted to miss that tournament as a safety measure. My DGD did not test positive and was also vaccinated so, we were between a rock and a hard place, not sure what to do. We opted for being safe and responsible and stayed home. Anyway, long story short, the coach seems to be angry with her and our family because of this. The team is over with but we do see him occasionally and he is very distant. Suddenly it seems, he cared more about DGD contribution to the team than he ever let her know. She was always entirely intimidated by him, and never confident. Now, he seems to see her value. I don't get it. Why can't coaches connect better with kids? Yes, be hard on them but they need to hear positives too otherwise they don't know where they stand or whether they are meeting goals. This should be foremost in any coach's abilities.

 

[Eric F]

My granddaughter was a late entry into softball. This is technically, her second "full" year of playing due to the cancellation of last year, but has already moved up to A-level, 16u travel this Fall. She was on a B-C level travel team this past summer. The coach always spoke about her potential to be really good yet, he really never seemed to trust her and just stuck her in the outfield. She was 3B prior to playing for him. Anyway, we came to realize OF was best for her because of her speed and arm, although she needed to learn to become a more aggressive OF. Her hitting took awhile to come around then suddenly, early this summer, she started hitting for average. She moved up in the line-up slowly. Then, at the end of the season, the last tournament, my DGD had to bow out because of an exposure to Covid that infected her family. All had been vaccinated, but tested positive and had to quarantine. One coach also tested positive. We, as a family, opted to miss that tournament as a safety measure. My DGD did not test positive and was also vaccinated so, we were between a rock and a hard place, not sure what to do. We opted for being safe and responsible and stayed home. Anyway, long story short, the coach seems to be angry with her and our family because of this. The team is over with but we do see him occasionally and he is very distant. Suddenly it seems, he cared more about DGD contribution to the team than he ever let her know. She was always entirely intimidated by him, and never confident. Now, he seems to see her value. I don't get it. Why can't coaches connect better with kids? Yes, be hard on them but they need to hear positives too otherwise they don't know where they stand or whether they are meeting goals. This should be foremost in any coach's abilities.

At the 16U level, no one gets "stuck" in the OF. At 14U and above, it's not really a place to hide a mediocre player. I would bet your DGD was in OF because the coach recognized the abilities you eventually came to realize for yourself. Also, when joining an existing team, to take the spot of an established player you need to be undeniably better than the girl who has that spot now. Sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture, too. If your DD plays 3B, where does the coach put the girl who was playing 3B, and is it a good fit for her abilities?

Based on the coach adjusting her position in the lineup, it sounds like he was paying attention to her development and ability to contribute to the team.

Your DGD grows to be a valued asset on the team and you're wondering why the coach is frustrated that you opted to miss a tournament? How important was that tournament to the team? Sometimes one player can have more of an impact on the whole team than many people realize. The coach may be distant because he feels that the team was let down at an important time.

Some coaches are good communicators. Some are not. One of the things about TB is that there is always another team, if the one you're on is unbearable,