7 “Pitchers” on team

[Traps71]

As the parent of a young pitcher (13.5 yo), the attitude of the parents of your other "pitchers" is extremely frustrating. Being a pitcher, as you clearly understand, requires a lot of additional work and dedication (not to mention mental fortitude). You can't just show up to games and think it's going to happen. I've run into this mindset in Rec Ball and TB and the parents seem shocked when their kid walks the first three batters on 12 pitches.

At 12U, especially if you are second year 12U, it is not fair to the team to put girls out there who cannot at least throw strikes consistently. Even that is not really enough, but that is the bare minimum. The pitcher has to give your team a chance to win the game--or at least compete--and that is impossible if they are giving up multiple free passes an inning.

As suggested above, the answer is simple, but probably not easy as it will involve uncomfortable conversations. You will have enough work for three pitchers and I think having a fourth "pitcher" (really a position player who can come in and throw strikes in an emergency or to mop up) is not a bad idea. Definitely won't be enough work for 7 pitchers. If these parents want their daughters to pitch, they need to do the work and win the job from one of the top three. If not, they need to find a different team if they really want to pitch. My DD was in something of a similar situation in TB and I didn't need any coach to tell me what we needed to do. I saw it with my own eyes. We did the work, got better than most of what the team had, and earned our spot in the starting rotation of pitchers. I have some sympathy for the girls because they are only 11 or 12 and don't really understand it, but I have zero for the parents.

 

[uncdrew]

It sounds like you are in a bad spot and the sad part is there is not a good answer that will make everyone happy. If you try to keep the lower 4 happy you make others mad. If you do nothing the 4 will probably get mad. If you are trying to build a team for the future then you have to bite the bullet and have a heart to heart with them as they bring it up next time. Express the good their players do and what their role on the team is honestly. And at the present time pitching is not one of their roles. Explain that pitching is a skill position that the player and parents must be committed to and work on their own to get better. If they get lessons and work for a bit then you will give them some opportunities in practice or scrimmage to show their improvements. Maybe even set some benchmarks that a tournament pitcher would have to meet in order to get in the pitching rotation. Maybe even suggest they stay playing rec to get some game pitching reps. Offer to go to a lesson with them and check out their instructor to pressure them into taking lessons. More then likely they will not be very happy and will probably decide to look around for a team that needs a pitcher. And if that is the case then honestly in the long run you will be better off. It will always be an issue and you will lose players either way you handle it. Make wise decisions on who you make mad.

We told our parents and girls that if you want to pitch in a game, you must be taking pitching lessons.

I know some think this is harsh or unfair or discrimatory but we did that. We had 4 pitchers, all taking lessons. Life was good.

 

[cnardone]

I mostly agree with everyone here. Be blunt, "Your DD is not good enough. she needs to be better. Work at it." The only place I disagree is the insistence on a pitching coach. I only say this because we've had parents on this forum really help their DDs improve without a coach. It is the parents decision on how they choose to help their DD get better.

 

[uncdrew]

As the parent of a young pitcher (13.5 yo), the attitude of the parents of your other "pitchers" is extremely frustrating. Being a pitcher, as you clearly understand, requires a lot of additional work and dedication (not to mention mental fortitude). You can't just show up to games and think it's going to happen. I've run into this mindset in Rec Ball and TB and the parents seem shocked when their kid walks the first three batters on 12 pitches.

At 12U, especially if you are second year 12U, it is not fair to the team to put girls out there who cannot at least throw strikes consistently. Even that is not really enough, but that is the bare minimum. The pitcher has to give your team a chance to win the game--or at least compete--and that is impossible if they are giving up multiple free passes an inning.

As suggested above, the answer is simple, but probably not easy as it will involve uncomfortable conversations. You will have enough work for three pitchers and I think having a fourth "pitcher" (really a position player who can come in and throw strikes in an emergency or to mop up) is not a bad idea. Definitely won't be enough work for 7 pitchers. If these parents want their daughters to pitch, they need to do the work and win the job from one of the top three. If not, they need to find a different team if they really want to pitch. My DD was in something of a similar situation in TB and I didn't need any coach to tell me what we needed to do. I saw it with my own eyes. We did the work, got better than most of what the team had, and earned our spot in the starting rotation of pitchers. I have some sympathy for the girls because they are only 11 or 12 and don't really understand it, but I have zero for the parents.

Well said.

My DD had never pitched in her life and first year of 10U told the coaches that she wanted to pitch. Coaches told her to get lessons and we'd see how it goes. By the end of the year she's P1 and doing great. Dozens and dozens of lessons, hundreds of hours of practice, and thousands of balls pitched in our yard.

Some parents and DDs will put in the effort. And they'll probably succeed.

So when some other 10-year old girl says "I'm a pitcher" and gets out there and walks 6 batters in a row I too get a little bent out of shape. No, you're not a pitcher. Sorry. I hope you had fun with that experiment, but you're not a pitcher.

 

[badmonkey]

I mostly agree with everyone here. Be blunt, "Your DD is not good enough. she needs to be better. Work at it." The only place I disagree is the insistence on a pitching coach. I only say this because we've had parents on this forum really help their DDs improve without a coach. It is the parents decision on how they choose to help their DD get better.

To be fair, those parents actually became pitching coaches in effect. I know one who never gave lessons other than to his DD, but is probably the most knowledgeable person in the area with regard to IR mechanics.

 

[uncdrew]

I mostly agree with everyone here. Be blunt, "Your DD is not good enough. she needs to be better. Work at it." The only place I disagree is the insistence on a pitching coach. I only say this because we've had parents on this forum really help their DDs improve without a coach. It is the parents decision on how they choose to help their DD get better.

Might depend on the level of play. Unless the parent is a pitching coach, they simply won't be able to teach their daughter how to pitch as well as those girls who have pitching coaches.

I know we parents think we can watch YouTube videos and then teach our kids, but mostly we can't.

 

[CMMom1740]

All I know is that on our local bulletin board, everybody and their brother is looking for a "bracket ready pitcher." Those girls will find a place to land if they really want to pitch. It may be on a B or even C team, but it sounds like that is where they are at right now anyway.

 

[Agbracing]

I mostly agree with everyone here. Be blunt, "Your DD is not good enough. she needs to be better. Work at it." The only place I disagree is the insistence on a pitching coach. I only say this because we've had parents on this forum really help their DDs improve without a coach. It is the parents decision on how they choose to help their DD get better.

I understand what your saying with all the information here and other places. But if the parents can not see their self that help is needed are they really going to be able to use the information. If they knew she needed to be better and started research on their own to figure it out then it would be great. But if they have watched their DD pitch walk after walk and still ask why she is not pitching then an instructor is needed.

 

[hummingbird]

Parents who are oblivious to their DD's skillset, and development are basically parents
who aren't putting in the time to practice with their DDs, or at least attend their lessons, games, and look at what other DDs are doing in comparison.

I, although not an expert in any specific aspect of FP, can say that I've been her instructor since age 7.
No matter how good other parents say my DD is at this or that, I know what she is. Because I am engaged in her development, not simply
dropping her off at some training facility and picking her up an hour later, assuming that the $$ spent etc is paying off.
No, I know what and who she is. The problem is the parents. I actually think this also applies to other things not just softball.
Parents who aren't engaged just don't get it. And unfortunately most aren't.

With that said, I suggest you just be honest with them. You can't have 7 pitchers on a team. Even if they were all awesome, that isn't ideal.
The longer you lead them on to thinking they have a shot, the harder it will be later. Good luck.

 

[uncdrew]

Yup, same with school, scouts, or anything else. Gotta be involved as a parent. Can't just throw money at it and expect it to turn out ok.