12U, option on whether to approach player that doesn't want to be there...

[sylvesterx4]

I coach a 12u B-level travel team. I have a young lady that I've coached for 3 years and this year there is a definite change in how she approaches the game. She is a great kid, a great athlete, good attitude but doesn't seem to be enjoying the game itself anymore. After talking with some of the team (player) leaders, this particular player has said that she no longer wants to play softball and wants to focus on other sports, but because it's somewhat mid-season her parents want her to finish this year. As a Father, I appreciate that sentiment. I want to be very clear, I do not take this personally and in no way shape, or form plan on taking it out on the player. My question is should I talk to the player to see if there's a way I could make this season better or more enjoyable for her? Or should I just leave it alone as it's a family matter?

 

[Quigs10]

Welcome to coaching 12-14 yr olds. This is usually the time it happens the most. Exact same happend to my oldest DD. Got burnt out and just wanted to "do other things". Stopped for over a year and then came back to play HS.

My opinion: yes, talk to her and the parents and let them know she is still wanted and welcome on the team (if she is still doing what is expected and has a good attitude overall), but if she no longer wants to play that is OK too. Support her as her coach in whatever her decision is.

It's B level afterall (= Rec league here in Calif). This probably is her final season. As the coach, you can make it a nice fun farewell to the game or you can make it a negative ending. I would hope you would all want her to enjoy her last season if it ends up being so.

 

[jadefish]

Why girls quit? What is the most likely reason of quitting?

My DD is first year 10U. Travel ball is getting serious. She is a pitcher. Her secondary position is becoming bench because they want her to rest. When she gets on base, they will send a runner for her. She never gets to run home now. Are girls quitting because serious travel ball is less fun?

 

[Cornbread]

Do you play out of love for softball or obligation from parents?

 

[Rolling Hard]

" and wants to focus on other sports, "

Not sure what other sports she wants to focus on but I think that is the silver lining. I would be more concerned if she didn't have an alternate sport or activity (chess club, drama, dance, etc.)


"My opinion: yes, talk to her and the parents and let them know she is still wanted and welcome on the team (if she is still doing what is expected and has a good attitude overall), but if she no longer wants to play that is OK too. Support her as her coach in whatever her decision is."

This ^^^^^ is the right answer. IMO

 

[Strike2]

It's B level afterall (= Rec league here in Calif).

Funny...a 12U "B" level in the midwest blows the doors off a Rec League team. I could name a number of current JUCO & above players who were on 12U "C" teams.

 

[Quigs10]

How is the bolded part relevant to his question? I'll answer it for you. It isn't. You seem to be "big man me, little man you"ing him.

Not every girl is going to play A ball in California and end up being Sis Bates. It doesn't mean the game, and their team is any less important to them or their families. Take out the part where you come across in the best light, as a snob and in the worst case as a word i don't say on Sundsys and you have given him decent advice.

Your interpretation of that part of my post was not my intent or thoughts at all.

I think you are taking that part out of context and not what I meant at all. In fact just the opposite. I think sometimes text on message board doesn't represent true context or gets misinterpreted.

I agree completely with you about the A level being not for everybody. We did the A level with my older DD...HATED it. just wasn't a fit for our family. So I am a big supporter of B level anything. I actually prefer it really. Just more enjoyable.

All I simply meant was that "usually" B or C level is not as insanely intense or time demanding or ultra competitive as A level is. And out here in Calif our Rec leagues are literally called B. I was just simply stating what we call it. The point was (in my opinion) B and C should be coached and treated a bit less cutthroat and to try and not focus on winning at all costs and trophy hunting but more about development of the players you have and keeping it fun. (Which hopefully all levels should be right?) Girls and families have different views on what fits them best.

I was trying to support the coach and the player so she can find her love to play again. The coach can be a huge help in finding that love again. A, B or C...doesn't matter. From what he stated she seems to have lost her love (fun) in playing. We as coaches need to do whatever we can to keep that alive in our players.

Apologies to the OP if that part of my overall response did not come across as intended. I applaud anyone for being the coach of any level, rec or travel. You can make a huge difference in that girl's life and love of the game.

 

[CrazyNani]

I coach a 12u B-level travel team. I have a young lady that I've coached for 3 years and this year there is a definite change in how she approaches the game. She is a great kid, a great athlete, good attitude but doesn't seem to be enjoying the game itself anymore. After talking with some of the team (player) leaders, this particular player has said that she no longer wants to play softball and wants to focus on other sports, but because it's somewhat mid-season her parents want her to finish this year. As a Father, I appreciate that sentiment. I want to be very clear, I do not take this personally and in no way shape, or form plan on taking it out on the player. My question is should I talk to the player to see if there's a way I could make this season better or more enjoyable for her? Or should I just leave it alone as it's a family matter?

I can speak to that same experience. My granddaughter only started playing at 12u. Everyone loved her energy and attitude and could see she was very athletic. Even though, obviously she had a lot to learn to come up to speed especially for the travel team she made it to. This past year she has really seemed less motivated and it is because she requires more positive feedback. She lacks confidence and even when she succeeds, she's unable to build upon it. It entirely effects her enjoyment of the game. No one expects the coach to coddle her, but not getting "enough" positive feedback weighs on her. Coach is tough as expected at the level she's playing and she takes even constructive criticism personally. I'm not sure what the coach could do as I really believe it's within her to work out her emotions, build on her positives and toughen up.

 

[Tide_will_Roll]

Your interpretation of that part of my post was not my intent or thoughts at all.

I think you are taking that part out of context and not what I meant at all. In fact just the opposite. I think sometimes text on message board doesn't represent true context or gets misinterpreted.

I agree completely with you about the A level being not for everybody. We did the A level with my older DD...HATED it. just wasn't a fit for our family. So I am a big supporter of B level anything. I actually prefer it really. Just more enjoyable.

All I simply meant was that "usually" B or C level is not as insanely intense or time demanding or ultra competitive as A level is. And out here in Calif our Rec leagues are literally called B. I was just simply stating what we call it. The point was (in my opinion) B and C should be coached and treated a bit less cutthroat and to try and not focus on winning at all costs and trophy hunting but more about development of the players you have and keeping it fun. (Which hopefully all levels should be right?) Girls and families have different views on what fits them best.

I was trying to support the coach and the player so she can find her love to play again. The coach can be a huge help in finding that love again. A, B or C...doesn't matter. From what he stated she seems to have lost her love (fun) in playing. We as coaches need to do whatever we can to keep that alive in our players.

Apologies to the OP if that part of my overall response did not come across as intended. I applaud anyone for being the coach of any level, rec or travel. You can make a huge difference in that girl's life and love of the game.

Thank you for this response. I appreciate it. I did misunderstand. I also kind of have a soft spot for "the little guy" and am quick to defend them. In this case I was completely wrong and apologize to you.

It would have been easy to tell me to get lost or something not as nice. You didn't though. You explained what you meant and in appreciate that.

Again I apologize. Thanks.

 

[Chris8]

I can speak to that same experience. My granddaughter only started playing at 12u. Everyone loved her energy and attitude and could see she was very athletic. Even though, obviously she had a lot to learn to come up to speed especially for the travel team she made it to. This past year she has really seemed less motivated and it is because she requires more positive feedback. She lacks confidence and even when she succeeds, she's unable to build upon it. It entirely effects her enjoyment of the game. No one expects the coach to coddle her, but not getting "enough" positive feedback weighs on her. Coach is tough as expected at the level she's playing and she takes even constructive criticism personally. I'm not sure what the coach could do as I really believe it's within her to work out her emotions, build on her positives and toughen up.

I agree with you that it up to the player work things out... BUT...she's also twelve a good/great coach will help that player develop. A great coach will find ways to connect with the player. Each player will be different. Some need a kick in the butt...some need more positive feedback to help them grow. IMHO too many coaches don't realize this. It's not about coddling it's about helping each player bring out the best in each of them. That's different for different players.