Possible burnout? 13yo pitcher, choosing the right club

Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

Nov 16, 2015
9
3
DD started pitching at 9yo. Not a ton of competition in town so she has always been a bit of a hotshot locally. Has played three years of club ball at 10u/12u/12u. Has always been in the rotation as the #1-#3 pitcher. She has excellent control and throws offspeed well, but she is not the fastest (low 50s, teammates throw mid 50s) She is now heading into 8th grade and 14U softball. In both our local high school and the magnet high school she may apply to, there is a very high probability she will see quality circle time her freshman year if she continues to improve.

But this year has been a bust for her athletically. Her club team that she has been with for three years hired a new coach who just never took a shine to her. Despite never having a poor outing, she slid down to #3/4 in the rotation often behind a girl who is taking lessons from the coach :mad: She's inarguably the best hitter on the team but coach would bat her in the bottom of the lineup. We are obviously leaving this team, but she saw out her commitment to the team and I think that took a toll on her emotionally. She perked up on days when tourneys got rained out.

Independently of this, she grew to really dislike her pitching coach and did not want to go to pitching lessons anymore. PC is not a genius -- lots of HE, slam the door, etc. -- so no great loss there.

Now here we are at the end of the year looking for a new club team and a new pitching coach and DD's enthusiasm is at an all-time low. She's not pitching great right now and has no motivation to practice. I ask her if she just wants to hang it up and she says no, but I sometimes think that she is just telling me what i want to hear. She hasn't really improved in the past 12 months while the other pitchers have and I am worried that burnout is on the horizon.

I should also mention that I do not push very hard at all. I stopped coaching her teams years ago and try to stay out of her way. She claims she prefers this but I do sometimes wonder if maybe I am too "hands off" and that she thinks I am not really interested. She has a younger sister who has started to really take off as a pitcher and a player and who wants me involved with her team so the sister gets much more of my attention.

She is trying out for club teams and everyone wants her (there are better pitchers out there, but she's good enough and there are very few better hitters.) But I feel like this year is make or break for her -- she needs to have a more positive experience or she's going to hang it up.

If you have been through this with your kid, would love to hear your experiences and any advice. I will find another PC -- there is one she has seen from time to time that she seems to like --- but trying to figure out what is the best club situation for her. I feel like she is supposed to go to a team that plays at the highest level possible and really push her, but I am worried that this could backfire given where she is at emotionally. Wondering if maybe a year being the #1 on a B level team might not be a bad thing for her to get her mojo back. But the then I worry that might set her up for another plateau year like the last one.

Sometimes I think maybe she should take some time off from club ball altogether, but don't see how she will be ready for her freshman year if she does that.

Then other times I think this is supposed to be fun and if it is not, maybe it is time to switch to volleyball.....

Appreciate any thoughts or advice!
 
Apr 28, 2014
2,316
113
There is no position in softball that takes more work and effort than pitcher. And the road to where your DD wants to go can be checkered with periods of failure and times when no one, not even her coach will believe in her. Because of this and the added pressure of having the teams success or failure on the pitchers shoulders it's very important that pitchers are completely committed to their own improvement. Such that a season or two; even with a not so great coach, shouldn't take her off track.
My DD has been through a lot over the last 5 years playing travel ball. But the game will always give the kid more than the kid will ever give it. My advice for what its worth, is to give your DD a few weeks off. If after that time she's not chomping at the bit to get back in the circle then maybe she has lost the passion for pitching. That's not the end of the world as there are 8 other positions and the fact that your DD can hit well means that she will always have a place on a team. Last thing is that my DD tends to lose focus with her PC after 2-3 years. If you haven't changed pitching coaches in 2-3 years it may be a time to consider that.
 
Apr 6, 2017
328
28
If you can see she’s lost interest , she’s lost interest .
Take a season off. Try a different sport. She’ll come back to softball
when she’s ready I bet.
 

sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
7,132
113
Dallas, Texas
Does she want to play softball, but only hit? Or does she not want to play softball at all?

There are two different games in softball: a "pitching game" and a "hitting fielding game". A kid could love hitting and fielding, but hate pitching.

Not everyone wants (or needs) to be the center of a softball/baseball game. Babe Ruth seemed to do OK as a baseball player when he gave up pitching.
 
Aug 21, 2008
2,359
113
Tortunga, I don't really know how to answer this. But let me give you a brief background, I never played baseball. I only played fastpitch. Even at 12 years old, I was pitching in men's leagues because there was no youth softball for boys. Can you imagine letting your daughter pitch against grown women, college players, or even 18 year olds at 12? Probably not. I got my brains beat in so many times, so many line shots back at me and all it did was motivate me more. I wanted to be the best. I worked all the time. Now, one of our differences is, I never had a PC or anyone telling me to HE or slam the door. I can vividly remember watching 12 year old girls doing this and wondering what the hell they were doing. What are these crazy drills they are doing? Why don't they just make this simpler? That said, I did play for teams I was miserable on for various reasons. And like your DD, I just rode out the season and moved on next year. But I never lost my inner desire. The fire and passion may have been burning low but, it took only a few weeks of the offseason for it to burn hot again. So, I suspect that's what you'll have. My advice would be to recommend she take some time away (as others have already recommended) and then promise her every resource your can muster to get her to Pitching coach she will not only like but RESPECT. Yes, quality coaches cost a lot. But in a lot of cases (not all) it's a "pay now or pay later" scenario. Pay for a good coach who helps her with college and then you won't have to worry about funding college (as much). But, this process takes time. During her down time, do some homework on coaches... where they are, what they cost, what are their results, etc. You may find one far or near. But you will find one. And whether it's once a week or once a month, the bottomline is the work comes down to her. Seeing a student every week doesn't mean s**t if she won't put the time in and do her homework.

If she's pitched this long, it's probably in her blood now and will want to continue. You just have to have the talk with her about getting a fresh start with teams, coaches, etc. and see if that motivates her. My guess is, it will.

Bill
 
Jan 22, 2011
1,610
113
My DD was burnt out after last summer with a coach she didn't get along with. She wasn't getting any innings pitching in pool play, then being expected to come in to a win semi-final and/or championship game on Sunday. Basically treated like the P4/P5 unless it was a game against a team the coach thought her daughter couldn't beat. She wanted to take the fall off, but after two months off, I basically forced her to go a practice with a team I knew would be a good match. She liked the team and the coach was amicable that she would just guest play for him in the fall for three tournaments and miss part of one of those tournaments due to a conflict.

Her conflict was because I had signed her up for a semi-competitive volleyball fall league.

We knew going in she was the P4, but the coach wanted her for her offense and softball IQ. She was happy with being the P4 because she knew the other 3 pitchers were better than her. She took 3 months off from pitching lessons before starting up about 6 weeks ago with a coach who teaches the Fastpitch Foundations way that two of the other pitchers on the team use. She has connected well with the pitching coach and she actually wants to practice pitching. She is hitting the heck out of the ball and enjoying being with her team mates.

Not sure if she'll be pitching in a year, but she wants to continue taking lessons and find a team for next year that she'll get a fair amount of circle time on.
 
Last edited:
Feb 7, 2013
3,188
48
I don't think you can teach motivation. If she doesn't want to put in the time to get better and is not enjoying herself then maybe its time to hang up the travel ball cleats? At 14U, the pitching plate moves back to 43 feet, the batters are bigger, stronger, and just better and the dominate pitchers in 10U/12U will not be as dominate. She will have to work even harder on her game to keep up with her peers and competitors. If she was my DD, I would have her stop playing for awhile and she is she gets the fire again to play softball? If not, she will find other things to do with all the free time she will now have. The alternative is maybe she only plays school ball and has a more balanced schedule throughout the year. As parents, it's hard to accept giving up a sport that our kids have played for some time and were good at it, but it's their youth not ours and they have to decide what is best for their situation. Good luck, it will all work out one way or another.
 

sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
7,132
113
Dallas, Texas
I feel like she is supposed to go to a team that plays at the highest level possible and really push her, but I am worried that this could backfire given where she is at emotionally.

She needs to be at the highest level where *SHE PLAYS*. She should be on a team where she plays most of the time and pitches 50% of the time.

Putting her on a team where she sits the bench is not a good idea.
 
May 18, 2009
1,314
38
My DD is happy our season is coming to an end. She played until November last year and started up in February. She’s looking forward to volleyball. It’s a long season in softball. Sometimes second sports help them. A good change of pace and something else to think about. My DD comes out remotivated after a change in sports.
 
Aug 21, 2008
2,359
113
I don't think you can teach motivation.

Rocket, AMEN, AMEN, AMEN. Every pitcher I work with gets the exact same info, what they do with it is up to them. USUALLY the difference between the ones that go to a PAC 12 or SEC school and those who play D3 is all about the motivation. For sure there are some that just aren't talented enough for D1, no matter who the coach is. But, at the end of the day the ones who succeed are the ones who put the extra work in between lessons and between sessions with the bucket dad/mom. One thing I tell every student of mine is, I am a realist. I know there is school, boys, other sports, must see the Walking Dead, etc. But if she will commit 10 minutes, not an hour or 2... they will say they don't have time for that. But everyone has 10 minutes. Put 10 extra minutes in and you will see results fast. If you can do more, great.

Since the show "Six" came on the History channel, (about Navy seal team six) I have become obsessed with Navy Seals. If I had life to do over again, I would never have touched a softball and been a Seal. Anyway, one of the trainers said during the "behind the scenes" of the show: I don't need a recruit to come in fit, muscles, fast, etc. They can teach all of that. But what they cannot teach is mental toughness. And the same can be applied to pitching. You can't teach someone to want to do this and want to be out there.

Bill
 

Forum statistics

Threads
42,830
Messages
679,474
Members
21,443
Latest member
sstop28
Top