Dreaded Bucket Dad Syndrome

MikeP · Apr 23, 2018

BuckeyeBW said:
I am and assistant coach and talk to my 11u daughter when on the mound fairly regularly but not on every pitch. Usually it is "nice pitch" or encouragement of that kind, I just sort of read her. I have gone games without saying something as I don't want her to rely on me. The thing I probably most say if she is struggling is "make your adjustments" and let her figure it out for herself. We recently made a pitching coach change, while I wouldn't call the changes drastic, there are some significantly different things she needs to do. Her pitching lessons are as much for me as her. She and I work together a lot, so if I don't know what she should be doing I can't tell her to correct it. To me, if I just let her throw wrong, it is practicing a flaw over and over and is therefore harder to break. Sometimes she will be struggling and look over at me on my bucket, I will then give her a "make sure you finish your pitch" or "use your mechanics" etc. These are very general suggestions to her as I want her to figure it out.

We played in a tournament this past weekend and an opposing pitcher started struggling with several walks in a row. HC was standing outside the dugout and caught her looking at him and just said "I'm not pulling you, figure it out", then he walked in the dugout and sat down. She did figure it out too.

Crystal Brown · Apr 23, 2018

JAD said:
Every player is different, and what works great for one pitcher may not work well for another...all I know is my DD threw 2-3 MPH harder whenever I pissed her off! LOL

Normally so does D. Recently dad has became even more aggressive with his comments. School ball has really shaken her confidence. D is the only player on the team that is held accountable for errors...if she walks batters or make a fielding error, she gets pulled and sit the bench. The first error she made in outfield, she got benched. Because D has been held accountable, she has been doing more work on her own outside of practice to get better. D goes practice before every home game before they have to be at the school. Too bad the coach doesn't notice nor does she make any other player accountable....Bad part, this team is filled with talented players but they don't know to work together to be the talented team that they should of been. This is one of the many layers of what is going on.

BuckeyeBW · Apr 23, 2018

MikeP said:
We played in a tournament this past weekend and an opposing pitcher started struggling with several walks in a row. HC was standing outside the dugout and caught her looking at him and just said "I'm not pulling you, figure it out", then he walked in the dugout and sat down. She did figure it out too.

I like it. The HC for the high school I work at has 2 pitchers, both are playing college ball , and that is it. The #1, a sr, is playing D-1 and is a workhorse and beast, the #2? a junior, well not sure how she is playing college ball but good luck to her. They played a double header on Monday and had games 4 out of the next 5 days. In game 1, pitcher #1 dominated and they won easily. Game 2, pitcher 2 got rocked to the tune of 9 runs in first inning. After HR #2 that made the score 9-0 she looked at the coach with a begging to be yanked look. Coach strolled out and told her he didn't care if she gave up 20, pitcher 1 was done for the day so figure it out. She settled down and did "better", still got beat up though. She "only" gave up 8 more runs in the last 6 innings. Coach and I laughed the next day about it and he said "she will be the #1 next year and that next year's #2 is horrible so he wanted to toughen her up a little.

Crystal Brown · Apr 23, 2018

coach james said:
Hey Crystal. After rereading my post it sounds a little harsh. Sorry. I know what you mean by it being complicated. I think she has made amazing progress over the years and your DH needs to take a step back to see that

Thank you...you have no reason to apologize. If I am able to explain the many different layers that had me write this original post, I would. Instead, the best I can do is make light of the situation. Right now, D needs her dad not another critic.

Doug Romrell · Apr 23, 2018

Crystal Brown said:
Thank you...you have no reason to apologize. If I am able to explain the many different layers that had me write this original post, I would. Instead, the best I can do is make light of the situation. Right now, D needs her dad not another critic.

Someone other than you needs to have a chat with daddy. Maybe it's time he completely stepped aside with the pitching help. Instead, he should switch to cultivating the other dad-daughter relationship (that's not sports related).

Sparky Guy · Apr 24, 2018

Crystal Brown said:
He does go to all of the lessons. I actually wrote a response and deleted it. This is so much more complicated than I am able to explain.

I hope for your DD's sake he doesn't get to the Lavar Ball level of parenting.

IR a Pitching Dad · Apr 24, 2018

The "light bulb" moment for me came a couple of seasons back when I realized that my DD was harder on herself than I or anyone else could ever be......that in of itself laid the foundation for me to sit on a bucket through the week at lessons and allow her to experience the adversity and tough times through the games without me yelling stuff (that and sunflower seeds).

Dreaded Bucket Dad Syndrome

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