desperately need help!

i am OK with keeping mouth shut (allright, not really OK, but I can do it). issue is that she is not going to get any other feedback to pull her back from bad mechanics. the HC is great at trying to get her to relax, have fun, etc., but DD still reaches for the strike zone.

at this stage in her development she simply is not aware enough of what she is doing/not doing. she just is focused on trying to throw strikes, which leads to reaching for the zone. last game, she basically went 4 innings like that, hit about 6 batters, about 20BB, i never said a word, and the more she reached for zone, worse it got. even if we send her to lessons, instructor is unlikely to be at games, she needs to figure out someway to receive/accept feedback. otherwise her circle time is going to drop to nearly nothing.

Dabears17 said:

About 3 years ago Sluggers gave me advice to keep my shut during games. I mostly follow that and take some video to look at and talk to her some at home about what she needs to adjust.

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I also concur with Sluggers. Crazy parent, saying stuff, being nervous and pacing doesn't help DD. We've all done it, pacing and yelling. Its tough on parents. But parents can sabotage kids with their anxiety. Ive done it.

But like Sluggers says, it really comes down to mechanics during practice, then having confidence to apply it in the game. Also remember its a journey, a marathon. How she's pitching at 10 has very little to do on how shell pitch at 16 or 18. So sleep better tonight, and don't worry about her pitching yet. You will barely remember those games next year. You have years of development to work on.

Look at the big picture, and find opportunities for her to pitch to succeed or fail. She'll learn from both or find out she doesn't want to pitch.

Also, half of pitching is mental. One of the best things my PC did for my DD, was introducing her to a numbered systematic system while she pitches. It a seven step system to follow from pitch to pitch. Its kind of like the same free throw routine that basketball players do everytime. Really helped us.

I also like Sluggers advice that I quote often to parents that I paraphrase as 'Just let them have fun until their body changes, then let them decide how serious they want to get'.

Maybe a novel approach, but if I had a DD that seriously wanted to be a pitcher, she would never pitch in a game until she had sound, repeatable mechanics.

As a golfer, I am a hack 26 handicap and understand that all the on-course advice or experimentation in the world isn't going to make permanent change to my swing and make me a better golfer. Rather than spending the little time I have available for golf taking lessons and practicing, I have decided that I prefer to live with a flawed swing and play.

As difficult as it may seem, constructive criticism while in the circle during a game is too late. The time to do that is during pitching practice and/or pitching lessons. A good pitching coach will be telling her to throw hard and not be overly concerned with throwing strikes. Sounds like this girl needs a pitching coach. Pronto.

I say stand tall (to avoid the leaning forward). Does she have proper technique to do so? Has she been taught the mechanics of doing so? If she is tired and bending has she been taught how to make the correction?

This post reminds me of parents yelling at their kids to "just throw strikes". Don't you think that's what the kid is trying to do? What they should be yelling (if anything) is "make the adjustment!" This tells me they've practiced and know what they need to do and the kid has been taught and understands what she is doing (and doing wrong). One can yell all day long to stand tall, but if bad mechanics are causing the lean yelling isn't going to fix it. If you don't have time to take her to a pitching coach, pitching probably isn't in her future.

So are you completely convinced that if had just been able to yell "don't reach for the zone" in the game you referred to above that she would have stopped reaching for the zone and pitched correctly? Because if that is the case then you probably should convince your wife and daughter that it is absolutely necessary for you to have permission to yell at her during games. But don't show them this paragraph without showing them the next one.

But the truth is pretty much every one of us who has been in your shoes - and lots of us have - is saying "no that is not going to help in the middle of games" so you aren't going to convince any of us that it is absolutely necessary. A quick quiet word in passing between innings of "you are getting out over your front leg again" or whatever your code words are, might work for some kids. But your own daughter has said don't do it, your wife has said don't do it, probably other parents and players wish they had the guts to tell you not to do it, I think we on DFP are all concurring that you shouldn't do it.

You are just going to have to figure out if her becoming a good pitcher is something you guys want bad enough to adjust your schedule and cut some things out and commit a LOT of time to, or if you are fine having her struggle the way she is and you are going to let it go.

bmakj said:

i am OK with keeping mouth shut (allright, not really OK, but I can do it). issue is that she is not going to get any other feedback to pull her back from bad mechanics. the HC is great at trying to get her to relax, have fun, etc., but DD still reaches for the strike zone.

at this stage in her development she simply is not aware enough of what she is doing/not doing. she just is focused on trying to throw strikes, which leads to reaching for the zone. last game, she basically went 4 innings like that, hit about 6 batters, about 20BB, i never said a word, and the more she reached for zone, worse it got. even if we send her to lessons, instructor is unlikely to be at games, she needs to figure out someway to receive/accept feedback. otherwise her circle time is going to drop to nearly nothing.

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Its 10U. Worry about her mechanics outside of games. Don't worry about games. She will either come around outside of games and it will carry over into game situations or she won't be a pitcher come 12U. Either way, shouting out stuff during a game isn't going to change that.

Fix whatever she is doing wrong in games in practices. Fixing anything at a game is an exercise in futility.

In 10U my DD once hit enough batters to hit the 6 run limit in an inning. Never said a word to her about it, just got back to work at the next practice. Next game she walked in 18 runs total. Got back to work next practice. Somehow, she has evolved into one of the top 3 12U pitchers in the area.

So what do you say after one of those games? Tell her you are proud of her and if she is really down take her for ice cream. Then get back to work the next practice. Don't mention what she is doing wrong, focus on doing things right. And then.....

Practice, practice, practice.

bmakj - I hope you can tell that most of the posters here have been in your shoes and can feel your pain. You've gotten some seriously good advice in a few short posts. Take some time (she's only 10), slow down the process a bit, keep it enjoyable and cherish the moments that this experience gives you with your DD. Good luck and damn it all, have some fun!

thanks for all the feedback. gonna try keeping big yapper shut more.

biggest issue with her pitching poorly during games is if she keeps repeatedly doing it, it is going to make those bad mechanics habitual. I will not tell coaches not to pitch her, because honestly for both TB and LL, they really have no choice. she is probably #2 on each team, and TB especially will need her for tournaments. I will tell her she can stop pitching during games if she wants, and we will just work on it, but I cannot see her doing this.

gonna ask her during our next practice session if she wants a code word or phrase to get her back on track. will leave it at that.

as far as lessons, gotta talk to DW, I think she is gonna want a commitment from her on one focus (pitching, GK for soccer, catching) before we head down that road. trouble is DD wants to do it all.

bmakj said:

thanks for all the feedback. gonna try keeping big yapper shut more.

biggest issue with her pitching poorly during games is if she keeps repeatedly doing it, it is going to make those bad mechanics habitual. I will not tell coaches not to pitch her, because honestly for both TB and LL, they really have no choice. she is probably #2 on each team, and TB especially will need her for tournaments. I will tell her she can stop pitching during games if she wants, and we will just work on it, but I cannot see her doing this.

gonna ask her during our next practice session if she wants a code word or phrase to get her back on track. will leave it at that.

as far as lessons, gotta talk to DW, I think she is gonna want a commitment from her on one focus (pitching, GK for soccer, catching) before we head down that road. trouble is DD wants to do it all.

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DD throws way more pitches in practice then she does in games.

Like you mentioned, next practice.