AND PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you're like me, you've watched ESPN with head shaking humor at La'var Ball basically being the embodiment of the kind of parent nobody wants to admit they are. Now we can talk about all the pressures that come from pitching, including the extensive list made by Rocketech. But, there is nothing in that list or in the list others have added that equals the pressure the girls feel from parents. Some of that pressure that is given may not even be a conscience thing the parent is doing. But, I guarantee your kid is more perceptive than you give credit for. She sees the eye rolls when she throws a bad pitch during a lesson, she see's the frustration when she can't quite fix that "thing" being taught in a single lesson, She feels the tension when you get frustrated with her. And then, in the irony of all ironies, the parents say "she won't listen to me anymore" after the kid hits a certain age. They honestly wonder why that is.
As a PC, I am in a no win. I refuse to do lessons without a parent there (more specifically, I refuse to do a lesson alone with a minor). In this business, all it takes is an accusation and you're ruined... so I always require someone with. The problem is, it's often the parent who creates the most stress for the pitcher. And the cycle starts all over again.
Personally, I was lucky. While my father played fastpitch since I was born and I was raised at the ballpark being team bat boy, then imitating the pitchers until I was finally "old enough to play". And the reason I put "quotes" there is, I started in a mens league when I was 11 or 12. Imagine your 12 year old pitching to college, adult women's fastpitch or NPF players from 46 feet. And keep in mind, my first time in the game, was the FIRST TIME IN A GAME. I didn't get to play U10, U12, etc. where I got game experience. My first time in a game was 12 yrs old or so against ADULT MEN. And no, I didn't have a riseball and a dropball worthy enough to fool my competition. But, my father was there to support me. He didn't shake his head at me when I couldn't put backspin on a rise. He didn't get angry when I walked 5 hitters in a row. I was harder on myself than he (or anyone) was. And he never tried to "teach me" pitching. His knowledge of pitching was limited to knowing that he'd strike out on riseball's every time up. I am absolutely not saying he was an idiot who couldn't tell smooth mechanics from something herky jerky. But teaching me? never. Practice with me? Absolutely.
So, it's my belief that the #1 young pitcher issue usually starts at home. This is not an absolute. There are plenty of GREAT parents. But, everyone knows the ones I'm talking about. There is a fine line between pressure and encouragement. Between frustration and understanding. There are so many ways this pressure is applied. And I truly believe many don't know they're doing it. But if your DD cannot play catch with you, without a fight breaking out, the problem could be in the mirror not across the dinner table.
Bill
Great post, Bill! This is why I stopped "discussing" softball with my DD (not to mention, I am really ignorant when it comes to mechanics)...we do talk "shop" about other teams and players (like so&so pitched a shut out or so&so committed or did you hear about this play?). But mostly, we avoid the topic of softball as much as possible (except for my coaching her to talk to her college coaches - she is as introverted as they come so she needs pushing in that department lol). She's already type A and doesn't need to hear about it - what she needs is to get out of her head...so I stay out of it too.
Really wish there was a seminar required of all sports parents to attend about being a sports *parent* and not a coach. While there are great parents that can be great coaches, I think they are few and far between.
FYI - DD goes to her lessons alone but there are pitching/hitting lanes going on on both sides of them all the time.