Wow, young pitchers need to deal with a lot!

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Aug 26, 2011
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Houston, Texas
AND PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you're like me, you've watched ESPN with head shaking humor at La'var Ball basically being the embodiment of the kind of parent nobody wants to admit they are. Now we can talk about all the pressures that come from pitching, including the extensive list made by Rocketech. But, there is nothing in that list or in the list others have added that equals the pressure the girls feel from parents. Some of that pressure that is given may not even be a conscience thing the parent is doing. But, I guarantee your kid is more perceptive than you give credit for. She sees the eye rolls when she throws a bad pitch during a lesson, she see's the frustration when she can't quite fix that "thing" being taught in a single lesson, She feels the tension when you get frustrated with her. And then, in the irony of all ironies, the parents say "she won't listen to me anymore" after the kid hits a certain age. They honestly wonder why that is.

As a PC, I am in a no win. I refuse to do lessons without a parent there (more specifically, I refuse to do a lesson alone with a minor). In this business, all it takes is an accusation and you're ruined... so I always require someone with. The problem is, it's often the parent who creates the most stress for the pitcher. And the cycle starts all over again.

Personally, I was lucky. While my father played fastpitch since I was born and I was raised at the ballpark being team bat boy, then imitating the pitchers until I was finally "old enough to play". And the reason I put "quotes" there is, I started in a mens league when I was 11 or 12. Imagine your 12 year old pitching to college, adult women's fastpitch or NPF players from 46 feet. And keep in mind, my first time in the game, was the FIRST TIME IN A GAME. I didn't get to play U10, U12, etc. where I got game experience. My first time in a game was 12 yrs old or so against ADULT MEN. And no, I didn't have a riseball and a dropball worthy enough to fool my competition. But, my father was there to support me. He didn't shake his head at me when I couldn't put backspin on a rise. He didn't get angry when I walked 5 hitters in a row. I was harder on myself than he (or anyone) was. And he never tried to "teach me" pitching. His knowledge of pitching was limited to knowing that he'd strike out on riseball's every time up. I am absolutely not saying he was an idiot who couldn't tell smooth mechanics from something herky jerky. But teaching me? never. Practice with me? Absolutely.

So, it's my belief that the #1 young pitcher issue usually starts at home. This is not an absolute. There are plenty of GREAT parents. But, everyone knows the ones I'm talking about. There is a fine line between pressure and encouragement. Between frustration and understanding. There are so many ways this pressure is applied. And I truly believe many don't know they're doing it. But if your DD cannot play catch with you, without a fight breaking out, the problem could be in the mirror not across the dinner table.

Bill

Great post, Bill! This is why I stopped "discussing" softball with my DD (not to mention, I am really ignorant when it comes to mechanics)...we do talk "shop" about other teams and players (like so&so pitched a shut out or so&so committed or did you hear about this play?). But mostly, we avoid the topic of softball as much as possible (except for my coaching her to talk to her college coaches - she is as introverted as they come so she needs pushing in that department lol). She's already type A and doesn't need to hear about it - what she needs is to get out of her head...so I stay out of it too. :)

Really wish there was a seminar required of all sports parents to attend about being a sports *parent* and not a coach. While there are great parents that can be great coaches, I think they are few and far between.

FYI - DD goes to her lessons alone but there are pitching/hitting lanes going on on both sides of them all the time.
 
Dec 5, 2015
2
0
Hello Everyone first time post, been lurking for awhile. This topic really hits home, My 12 y/o has been pitching for a few years on Rec and C level Travel Ball. She really loves to be in the circle, doesn't matter how good or bad she is throwing just wants to be out there. She started with HE and last year we tried to transition to IR, Worked with a very good instructor in Mass trying to make the switch but DD had a lot of trouble transitioning, just couldn't put it all together and my frustration (eye rolls and occasional outbursts) really did a job on her.
Halfway through a particularly bad practice session she just burst into tears and told me she was done pitching. Found out from my wife later on that she had lost all confidence in herself and believed that she just couldn't pitch anymore. After a month or so of leaving her alone she decided to start throwing again but wanted to go back to her old HE style.
Now I sit on the bucket being as supportive as i can, offering little hints and biting my lip when she just can't get something down. I leave it up to her PC to set her homework and practice drills. While i cringe every time i hear "make a muscle" and "Close the Door" I notice in games that she is starting to naturally work into the Whip without the pressure to do it. She doesn't talk about pitching in college or even High School for that matter but fumes in the car all the way home when anyone gets the start over her for any reason at all. She has the desire to be out there, maybe the physical talent will come, but if it doesn't that's OK too. Someday Softball will come to an end, not sure if I'll be sad or relieved! I just want us to enjoy it together for as long as we can.
 
May 6, 2016
15
3
My daughter pitched in her first 10U scrimmage this week. She still plays 8U coach pitch. It was a rough day for her. It does not help that I am one of the assistant coaches. I decided to let the Head Coach go out to talk to her to try to calm her down. I asked him to pull her out after her 6-7 walked batter. She was very upset and I felt total helpless for her. My heart was breaking for her. After the inning I pulled her to the side and just told her how proud I was of her and that she was brave to stay out there and battle. I did not critique her at all. The next inning I am coaching first base and she gets walked. Her first question to me when she got to the base was will I get to pitch again next inning. I love her fight and desire to compete! After the game I told her pitching under hand is much harder than pitching overhand and that I would much rather pitch baseball than softball, lol. I does worry me that her mental toughness might not be up to par. I have told her from the start that pitching takes more work and mental toughness than any other position on the field besides maybe catching.
 
Feb 7, 2013
3,188
48
My daughter pitched in her first 10U scrimmage this week. She still plays 8U coach pitch. It was a rough day for her. It does not help that I am one of the assistant coaches. I decided to let the Head Coach go out to talk to her to try to calm her down. I asked him to pull her out after her 6-7 walked batter. She was very upset and I felt total helpless for her. My heart was breaking for her. After the inning I pulled her to the side and just told her how proud I was of her and that she was brave to stay out there and battle. I did not critique her at all. The next inning I am coaching first base and she gets walked. Her first question to me when she got to the base was will I get to pitch again next inning. I love her fight and desire to compete! After the game I told her pitching under hand is much harder than pitching overhand and that I would much rather pitch baseball than softball, lol. I does worry me that her mental toughness might not be up to par. I have told her from the start that pitching takes more work and mental toughness than any other position on the field besides maybe catching.

The great Lisa Fernandez tells the story of how as a young pitcher in her first game she walked 15 batters but that didn't stop her from pitching. Her goal the next game was to only walk 14 batters, and so...

Pitching isn't easy but it is very fulfilling when you practice hard and see the success of that commitment. When DD started pitching at 7YO, the coaches made all kinds of excuses why she wasn't good enough to pitch: she couldn't throw strikes, she could field her position, blah blah blah. I got her pitching lessons and she practiced almost every day. She started the rec season as the #4 pitcher and only got one inning to pitch the first couple of games, fast forward to the end of the season and she was the #1 starter and made the all-star team that summer as the youngest kid on the team.
 
Feb 7, 2013
3,188
48
My dd got distracted from a dancer in the stands. A-hole was doing it on purpose. I thought he some homeless drunk guy at first. Then he left with the opposing team.

Why??? Really??

And it seemed like these things always happened at the younger levels. When DD was a young pitcher, the opposing teams frequently cheer negative chats or scream at the pitchers when they went into their wind-up. I told DD to tune it out and not let if get to you. Eventually they get to the point where they don't even hear it anymore but it's tough to witness when its directed towards your DD. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?
 
Jul 15, 2016
115
18
And it seemed like these things always happened at the younger levels. When DD was a young pitcher, the opposing teams frequently cheer negative chats or scream at the pitchers when they went into their wind-up. I told DD to tune it out and not let if get to you. Eventually they get to the point where they don't even hear it anymore but it's tough to witness when its directed towards your DD. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?

When my DD first started pitching in rec she used to get distracted and look over at the opposing dugout in between pitches. They were typically cheering for their team but occasionally negative cheers would arise. It threw her off for a while but eventually she started tunign it out and now I think there could be fire in the dugout and she might not notice.
 
May 6, 2015
2,397
113
i second (or third if already seconded) pretty much this entire thread.

so much pressure, which is why DW really hates that DD2 wants to pitch. would much rather her focus on catching.

I just want both DDs to pursue what they want to do. DD2 is so competitive, but does not know how to channel that yet, simply gets frustrated. and I think it is exacerbated by most things (academics, sports) having come easily to her before, now she has to work harder, and it is tough adjustment for her.
 

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